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Archive for July, 2013

As someone who will be celebrating our 45th wedding anniversary on our next celebration, I can tell you that marriage is not too unlike the steps we take in childhood development.  Marriages that lasts have  periods of passion, angst, arguments, admiration, go through trial and error, sometimes one gives while the other takes but keeping both in perspective by both people will many times reverse itself and ultimately balance itself out.

Marriage is not all bliss and both negative and positive  emotions are very much a part of marriage.  No one should ever go into a marriage feeling arrogance or a need to control their partner.  If either exists then failure is sure to follow. The often quoted, “If Momma isn’t happy then no one is happy” is or should be a misnomer.  Just because momma sometimes feels put upon is not a reason to throw in the towel. Marriage and the commitment to marriage must run as deep as the mutual needs and wants of both partners.

Both people in the marriage that lasts will feel times when they do feel left out of the planning or treated less than their value.  Marriages must allow both time and space for separate interests in both partners to grow and take root just as the commitment to share equally in a marriage needs to remain strong.  None of us will ever get the balance perfectly correct, each time.  The need for mutual respect and sound reasoning for the financial needs and future wants and needs of the couple needs to be weighed by both partners in a marriage.  Financial turmoil  is often reported as the greatest driving edge that leads to divorce.

Commitment to marriage requires becoming each others’ best friend and confidant.  Mama’s boys and Daddy’s girls are often misleading relationships that can sour a marriage before it even has a chance to bond.  If adults are still referring to their parents as Mommy and Daddy after they marry, then an emotional immaturity often also exists.  Turning to parents and clinging to their wants and needs while confiding our marital problems in them instead of discussing our differences with our spouses often is done at the jeopardy of our spouses and is many times a ship wreck of a marriage in the making. When parents die many times these couples who have never discussed their problems or differences together, are left looking at each other wondering why they ever married each other, in the first place. Marriages need early bonding and growth that remains constant throughout the marriage.

Humans make mistakes all the time and that is why marriages go through both the highs and lows that all marriages do go through.  A patient and understanding spouse will often mean the difference between a successful marriage over one of failure. Those of us who think once the passion leaves marriage then the marriage ends are not , in my estimation, giving full consideration to marriage.  If lust is what drives the marriage or is the reason we marry then perhaps we were not ready to marry.  If we marry because we want arm candy or we thought we could change what we didn’t like in the person we dated then the marriage already has failure written all over it.

Before we marry we must set our own standards as to what is or isn’t acceptable behavior and discuss these standards in complete and full detail and understanding of the needs of each of us, together.  If our attraction to each other is intellectual and of mutual respect and consideration, even though we may both stray from time to time, eventually we will find our way back.  Genuine character and intellectual enjoyment mixed with a sense of humor and respect goes a long way in the success of a marriage.  When marriages develop over time we will finish each others’ sentence and settle into a comfortable routine knowing both the good and bad in each other and if we are fortunate enough to enjoy good health or have a committed spouse when our health fails that is what most marriages that last progress to.

People have different ideas of what their marriage will look like as some couples like to travel while others take comfort remaining in their communities and often die never having left it for any reason other than to attend funerals or weddings.  Some wish to climb mountains and seek out adventure together while others prefer separate interests. The important thing to always remember is that at the end of the day that consideration for the needs of both remain equally strong in both participates of a marriage. When couples are allowed to develop space from each other trust also needs to develop in both.

Too much is made of the expectations of love and marriage in storybook detail just as the old “Stand by your man “song has left a sour taste in the minds of too many others, who neither understand the marriage of another or have a right to judge it. If we can each look at our child or children and see the best of both of us in those children or child and know they carry the genes of both of us, our marriages will last.  If we can only see the worse of our mates in our child or children then for their sakes, our marriages should fail.  In homes where there are not off spring and we still remember the reasons we married and still enjoy those moments no matter the cause for debate, our marriages will last.  If we are abused or our lives threatened then we are doing the entire family a disfavor by staying.

If we determine a mate who strays has destroyed the marriage vows and he or she do not wish to return, they not us, have made any decision by us irrevocable.  None of us can determine 100% the character of another and when their character fails to meet the standards that the couple has agreed upon, or they or we enter into marriage under a set of half-truths or lies and the trust issues soon follow, then none of us should ever blame ourselves for the fact that our spouse failed to be less than honest with us.

We can sometime live a lifetime with another person and not know the full value or fault of the person we married. Lies and half-truths make it impossible for any of us to build a foundation of trust on. When only one person or in some cases neither, are willing to take the bad with the good or to commit for life then it is never the fault of the marriage but the lack of honor in the person or persons who refuses to commit to their spouse, that ends the marriage.

Marriage is always and without exception the commitment of two people working together to make their own marriage work in partnership. There should never be such a gap in a marriage between two people so that the opinion of  a third person’s advice over-rules or carries more weight than the opinions held by our spouse in our own marriage, unless their opinion is destructive to us as a person. In some cases both members of the couple can be so stubborn as to not hear what the other is saying and in these cases a good friend or parent can sometimes guide us to a more objective point of view as long as they show our marriage the respect it deserves. Just as we cannot build a house with only one wall we cannot build a marriage with another person when only one person is willing to commit to the marriage.

On the other hand if we think that our mates will never lie to us to cover up for a weakness in them or to spare themselves nagging or harassment then we are not being realistic either.   A wife will often hide a pair of shoes just as a husband will fudge on what he lost playing poker.  Both people’s ideas and opinions most certainly do either change for the worse or grow and become stronger once we learn what commitment truly is over the years.  Many times people with good intentions will find that marriage is much better, just as parenthood is in theory, before we actually put both to practice. We never want to lose sight of the fact that marriages, just like shoes, comes in all sizes, fits the needs and wants of both the people involved and lasts as long as the desire to forgive and to forget lasts.

When marriages are as phony as the false images some couples like to project onto their admiring friends then couples can remain together out of a need to maintain an image.  There are couples who have a greater commitment to making sure they get even with each other even if it means a daily life of unhappiness together.  Not all marriages that last do so for the right reasons. People stay in unhappy marriages while living separate lives due to Religious convictions or out of convenience.  Many times those marriages that appear to be a life of storybook romance are actually a marriage of abject failure behind closed doors. Other times marriages will last because neither have the gumption to get up and leave while others stay for the fortune they have amassed.  Longevity in marriage does not always spell a successful marriage.

In short then, marriages are as happy or unhappy as the behavior, expectations, and personality of the people in them.  When we reach the age of maturity and real commitment, we have no room to doubt or question our choices, and the harder both people involved work towards our commitments the greater our rewards in marriage usually become.  True love grows over the years and has very little to do with the act of sex that often predates the final years of our marriage, but more to do with our compassion and understanding of the needs and the make-up of ourselves and our spouse.

When we can honestly say and believe the happiness of our marriage partner is equal or as great as our own, then we have reached the epitome of a successful marriage.  Sadly, we do find couples who do not know the full value of their mates, until after they die.  As people we often fall into the rut of taking our lives and each other for granted, and some do fail to realize what is important about their spouse’s happiness, until after they  are gone.  Along life’s way many of us will stumble but it is always the getting up and brushing ourselves off, and starting all over again, that matters as much in the final analysis of both marriage and life. Much is said against marriage but if the majority of us did not believe marriage was the best thing that ever happened in our lives, then so many people would not continue to get married.

Just because, some things may be too great for some of us to forgive and we are very much justified in believing and accepting that knowledge about ourselves, it  may not be for the next person, and to continually to degrade or judge another person’s marriage, as if we are a mean-spirited mother-in-law, is both a waste of our own time and character.  As parents, siblings, and close friends we all do well in remembering just one thing when it comes to the marriage of another, so long as their or their children’s safety is not at stake; MYOB or more rudely put, mind your own business will help the couple more than any other suggestion that we will ever make, even when they cry on our shoulders about their marriages and often over trivial matters. If the complaints prolong to true exhaustion on their or our part then suggesting they  get counseling will usually heal or cure the problem. Have a great day all!

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I think many amongst us, who are not schooled in the knowledge of feminists would be surprised to know; many of the leaders in the feminist and civil rights movements actually began in the various monasteries and sister-hoods with-in the Catholic Church. Even gay rights was a very early movement began by Nuns in America.

Where there have been many contributors to the causes amongst both the religious and the clergy in the Catholic Church in America, Rome, has always remained steadfast in it’s retraction of support for these causes.

Today we know about the “Nuns On The Bus”, outwardly criticism of Tea Party and Candidate for Vice President, Republican Congressman Paul Ryan’s, austere drive against the poor but long before women and minorities gained equality of any kind it was the movements within the Catholic Church in America, who played a responsible role in the causes for equality in America.

For those who were/are considered liberal in the Church there were/are an equal amount who were/are considered Conservative who upheld/uphold the law of the Church in the Conference of Bishops according to the dictates of Rome.

Just as this has always been true and still is true today, the same has always followed throughout the History of the Church. This assembled group of Conservative men, within the Church, have always been influential in having their views heard, sometimes at the destruction of the Churches’ views, in my and many others opinions within the Church.

Today I write about just one of the views within the Catholic Church that has always and will continue to separate the faithful of the Catholic Church. That is the view of a woman’s right to choose abortion over the loss of her own life. The Church teachings is that a woman must die for the sake of the fetus even though the fetus fails to thrive when the woman dies.

Today the “Personhood Bills” that takes the rights of women to choose their own destiny away from women, is being sponsored by Conservative Politicians in the “Red States” where Conservative views are suggesting, as in the past, that it is the moral view of the majority, to pass such bills.

We know from past elections this simply is not the majority view of Americans. In many incidences this bill has already passed in States where Conservative Doctrine is being dictated to the People, in totally controlled Republican Legislatures without the vote of the people.

Perhaps because I am more familiar with the name of Margaret Traxler, than most, because she hailed from the bread basket of America, where I have also lived the majority of my life, I took a deep interests in her feminists views.

The other thought, I have, is it may be because Sister Traxler was an intricate part of my own ability to question and to use common sense in the role of authority. I do have to ask where does any Church or Legislature get the authority to subtract Constitutional rights and God given free will from women, so that they feel these rights can to be denied by men, in the first place?

I have always felt that all Christian Religion should support the causes of those more poorly treated by Society, rather than deny them rights already granted. The role of Religion, in my estimation, should be to protect rather than to deny equality granted to all of us.

When history tells us it was women who carried on and established the practice of Christianity following the crucifixion of Christ, it has always left me uncomfortable in the knowledge that the beliefs of women should be secondary to men and in times of the History of Christianity, squelched, entirely, within Religion. Without the work of women many believe that Christianity would never have survived.

I personally believe that Margaret Traxler dropped Sister Traxler in her cause for Civil Rights and Equality, for two reasons:
1. She was being sanctioned by Rome to cease and desist.
2. Because she knew herself, she was crossing the line between Church and State in the expression of her views.

First, Margaret Traxler, as she would later wished to be called, although she remained in the Religious Sisterhood of Notre Dame Sisters until her death, was a person fighting for what was the right thing to do in America and for all Americans to be heard.

Sister Traxler was borne in 1924 in Henderson, Minnesota, the daughter of a Country Doctor and a mother who was a nurse. She entered the novitiate of the School Sisters of Notre Dame in 1942 and her education would be extensive following the taking of her vows, including getting her Doctrine degree.

She first came to my attention when I was questioning a great deal in my own personal life about the discrepancies in what the Catholic Church taught as how they applied the same teachings to their own behavior in the 1980’s.

Much stands out in my mind about the accomplishments of Sister Traxler, that I admire, from her march on Selma, Alabama with Martin Luther King, Her involvement in the protests of the Viet Nam War, being both an assistant and a Director of educational services while establishing integregated schools, her participation on the staff of the National Catholic Conference for International Justice, and even the award given to her by Golda Meier,but nothing caught my attention more than her work as a feminist.

None of us will truly know to the fullest extent that Sister Traxler was sanctioned by the Church when she took her view on abortion but we do know much was made and said at the time from within the Church and the Conference of Bishops in America against the advertisement printed in the New York Times.

In 1984 Sister Traxler was one of 26 Religious Sisters who signed their names to an advertisement in the New York Times entitled “A Catholic Statement On Pluralism and Abortion.”

The ad stated that there are more than one Catholic positions on abortion, and called for religious pluralism and the discussion within the Church.
The ad stated and showed results of the poll taken at the time amongst Catholic membership, the results were: only 11% of Catholics in good standing within the Church were against all abortions, irregardless.

The ad read that the great majority of Catholics found and reached understanding for the necessity of abortion. When we take into consideration that the Equal Rights Amendment had only been signed into law, a mere 13 years at the time, then we must acknowledge those with the best memories and who lived through the tragedy of non-equality clearly favored a woman’s right to choose.

Sister Traxler would ultimately uphold the teachings of abortion taught in the Church, but would then choose to go by her given name following the advertisement. She continued to dedicate her life to equality in America, up until she suffered a devastating stroke in 2000. She died two years later in 2002.

Two other sisters, who were much braver in my opinion, but unfortunately names that I fail to remember, would be expelled from the sisterhood for taking the views of a woman’s right to choose.

I am not sure that my analogy of “braver” is a just analogy since leaders of all movements are made to feel greater pressure than fellow members. Perhaps Sister Traxler felt she could accomplish more within the Religious community than she could out of it, as her record speaks for itself.

I simply write this post today to point out one of the things I did admire about my training as a Catholic was the encouragement that I did get from the Religious Sisterhood to think for myself.

I have always believed equality is not handed out in parcels but given in its entirety to all people, and until Women get complete and equal treatment under the law and in the work place with the white male, people of other Races, Creeds, and Sexual orientations will be denied as well.

Feminism is so much more than just the fight for equality for women, as it embraces equality for all people around the World, and Sister Margaret Traxler practiced and lived that belief.

It was only after listening to the views of those who profess to place Conservative views on all of us as the view of the Churches over those of a more compassionate view held by other beliefs in the Churches in America, that I realized my beliefs do matter.

I know Christ did Teach the more liberal views held by the Church and threw out much of what was previously written as acceptance of morality in the Old Testament of the Bible.

Christ taught the love of God for His children over the severe punishment by an angry God often spoken of in verses of the Old Testament. The use of Stoning against women and children as being against God’s will just as usurping the authority of God to Judge his children, appear for the first time in the teachings of Christ.

When I saw the discrepancies of the Conservative held views were often times self-limiting and I felt unjust, I walked away from all established Religion, rather than accept the limited view of equality that was becoming louder in the Churches across America.

I still refer to myself as Christian because I did not walk away from the interpretation of what Christianity was meant to be. I perhaps am more Christian today than I was while listening to views, I could not nor never would accept. There are thousands just like myself, because of the lack of equality taught in the Churches, who struggle with leaving their Churches, just as I did.

I do feel the next time any Church questions why they are losing more people in their own Churches or their Congregation are leaving to join another Church or becoming Agnostic or Atheists, the Churches themselves, must first take a good look at their own backyards.

Instead of blaming higher education and Satanists leanings and the poisoning of views by Liberals who encourage self-expression and equality for all of mankind, they need to guard first against the practice of hypocrisy as well as against the division of equality, within their own ranks.

Democracy spells equality and inclusion for all, just as should Christianity also spell the same, but sadly, the more Conservative Government gets in America and the more Conservative Religion gets the larger the erosion of equality also becomes. This is not my opinion but shows up in the study of past history.

I ask everyone today to think about where our thoughts and stands comes from and on what we base it, within our own individual consciousness, without the voice of our families, ministers, or politicians ringing in our ears.

Are we still even capable of distinguishing what our own consciences tell us or has that been replaced by propaganda, bias and divisiveness, another person’s own interpretation, or what we think other people think we should believe?

It is never a bad question for any of us to ever ask ourselves as in the end of each of our lives, it will be our own personal beliefs that we do get judged on.

There will be no more excuses left as to why we did not use our own intellect and free will, given to us as gifts by our Creator, in the final analysis of life. Have a good weekend everyone.

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Was George Zimmerman a want-to-be-cop? In my opinion he lived for the day that law enforcement would give him a chance to join the force.

I typically do not offer an opinion until after a jury comes in with a verdict but with all the speculation going on, “why not I offer an opinion as well.” I will precede forward with my own analogy and the reasons I believe as I do.

The facts are:

1. both sides agree that George Zimmerman was a member of Neighborhood watch. Those of us who are familiar with neighborhood watch understand when we sign up, we are instructed to simply report suspicious activity to the local law enforcement.

2. We are warned not to follow or try to apprehend the people or person we feel are out of place in our neighborhoods. We are warned against entering our own homes or unlocking or leaving our cars if we suspect suspicious activity in or near our vicinity and to report the same in our own neighborhood.

Furthermore common sense can tell us when George Zimmerman was told about a break in at his neighbors house by two African Americans,the actions of George Zimmerman were an attempt to solve the break-ins. Why else would he break all the rules that were taught him in the Neighborhood Watch Program, if not?

What we don’t know is if some law-enforcement officer encouraged George Zimmerman to take on the responsibility of arming himself and investigating the same or if George Zimmerman thought he could add a feather to his cap if he would find those who did break-in. Trayvon Marten was not one of them and that has been made clear.

We Know George Zimmerman took a College Course on profiling in relationship to being a law enforcement officer and his Professor said he got high marks even while George Zimmerman denied he knew anything about the same.

We understand that want-to-be-cops count into the thousands across our Nation. We know, as a general rule, these want-to-be-cops can and do make a pest out of themselves. Very rarely does one ever get admitted to law enforcement. These want-to-be-cops usually get assigned to the newbies to be let down gently. If they don’t take the hint they get chased out. Very rarely will one be granted a chance to try out as an officer.

These want-to-be-cops use words like perpetrator or suspects when they contact law enforcement, just as George Zimmerman did. You and I say things like, “I hope I am not over-reacting, but there is something suspicious going on in my neighborhood watch area, when we call in to report suspicious activity.

We also know the following:

1.We do know neither the defense team or the Prosecutors denied that George Zimmerman used language not typical of the lay person when placing his call to 911.

2. Zimmerman followed Trayvon after being told to stop by the 911 operator, both in the car and on foot.

3. We know George Zimmerman armed himself, even though to do so is against the rules of the Neighborhood Watch program.

4. We know George Zimmerman profiled Trayvon Martin just as police officers profile people they suspect of possible crime.

Doesn’t our common-sense make it fairly easy to understand that these are all the actions of a want-to-be-cop?

To wear a hoody in the rain is just common sense. Haven’t we all turned around and walked backwards rather than have rain hit us in the face and don’t we also cut across when it is raining? Who amongst us can honestly say we have never looked in a window when the blinds aren’t pulled, just out of curiosity, while passing a home? Most of us do like to see how another home is furnished.

If you doubt me, I suggest you have an open-house and if you don’t find out the neighbors show up to snoop, you should be more surprised when they don’t than when they do. Trayvon’s behavior was pretty normal and not classified as odd by the majority view.

Going to the store to get candy and a drink at night time is not suspicious behavior either,but instead what most teenagers do. Remember we only have George Zimmerman’s word that any of this behavior, even happened.

It is a sad statement of fact when the only voice in a Court room is that of the defendant George Zimmerman, when he could simply have stayed in the car, not followed Trayvon on foot, or walked away when Trayvon ran to get away. How many chances did George Zimmerman need to have before using deadly force and chose not to? We should all be heart broken, by the results of George Zimmerman’s behavior and the law that allowed the end results to happen.

Shouldn’t the larger question be,” why was George Zimmerman out on patrol acting as a “Barnie Fife” if not to find African American males or if he was investigating a crime, knowing full well it broached both the ethics and rules of the Neighborhood Watch Program?

The only thing we do not know, if we listen to the defense team speak is; who was the aggressor in the case? They tried to convince us it was Trayvon Martin as it is the defense job to do so, if they are going to claim self-defense.

How can any of us not call on our own common sense and ask ourselves if being followed in the dark by someone so intent on doing so, as George Zimmerman was, that he first follows Trayvon in a car and then he gets out and follows Trayvon on foot, is not an act of aggression?

In my opinion what ever the jury decides, it was Trayvon Martin who was acting in self-defense whether he threw the first punch or not. Trayvon was clearly being harassed by a stranger who placed him under great fear of bodily harm.

I hope there isn’t a person who calls themselves a parent, who will argue that finding, knowing it could be their own child, tomorrow. Would you want your child followed both by car and on foot by a stranger only to have your child end up dead, and call it justice? Could you show half the class that Trayvon Martin’s parents have?

It is not a crime to follow anyone in America but it is an assault on common decency and a total lack of respect for humanity to do so, knowingly, under the conditions that George Zimmerman followed Trayvon Martin. Sadly, stupidity is not a crime, either.

If George Zimmerman did not see his actions as harassment, which is a crime, then why did he behave as he did? Stupidity is also not a defense against the law. Would any of us leave our vehicle on a rainy dark night, if not to harass or to prevent forward movement of a person, especially after being told not to?

If we are acting in this manner because we think we can please law enforcement and inform on a possible link to a crime as an informer, because we want to be part of law enforcement, then wouldn’t it make more sense if we behaved as George Zimmerman did?

That is the bigger question, we all have to ask ourselves, honestly. Does everything have to be set aside or debated as law before our common sense and common decency tells us more than what we heard in this Court room in this case?

A jury, however, has to face the facts presented in the case. I know this was a difficult case to decide after it was presented. We do not have to use anything other than our own common sense.

I am the first to admit that all any of us can do is to speculate, since only George Zimmerman is left to tell what happened and inconsistencies all lay in his favor, when he speaks. Was George Zimmerman so desperate to join the police force that he saw giving law enforcement the lead they needed on the robberies and break-ins, in the neighbor hood, was going to give him a step-up into realizing his dream?

Was all, George Zimmerman, needed to break the case open for the police officers, in his mind, was an African American, he called a suspect, walking the Streets in the dark?

Was this going to be his ticket to helping solve the crimes in his own mind? Remember the only thing George Zimmerman wanted his wife to hear was, ” I shot someone.”

In my opinion this should have been the course taken by the prosecutors from the opening gate out. Not a single eye-witness saw the beginning or the finish and for the prosecution to begin with the eye witnesses who only saw snippets of what happened, instead of loading their case with the want-to-be-cop approach which George Zimmerman clearly was, they lost the jury before they could even establish their own case or bring forth the lack of DNA found on Trayvon Martin.

Had they began with the fact that George Zimmerman was the clear aggressor because he was out acting like a Barney Fife and taking the law into his own hands, they would have more likely have kept the jury understanding what it was that George Zimmerman did do wrong and what led to the fight in the first place. In my opinion the prosecution only added to the defense’s theory and played right into their hands.

Juries are lay people who are untrained in law and the presentation of the law to the juries is mind boggling at best. Research shows the vast majority of people form an opinion of another in the first 15 minutes of meeting someone. That also means the attention span of the majority of us last 15 minutes, as well. Any notes taken by the jury would simply be taken to back up the opinion they reached in the beginning stages of the trial.

When police and prosecutors work hand in hand in solving crime, rarely do prosecutors point a finger at police informers or possible police involvement nor do they leave open that possibility for the defense to investigate. Evidence in regards to wanting to be a cop or vigilante justice abounds in this case, by nothing more than the actions taken by George Zimmerman.

The Lead prosecuting attorney, failed to take this route, in my estimation, due to political pressure. Anyone who does not view this case as being purely political has not been paying attention to the entire case.

If the robberies and break-ins had been reported as having been done by Hispanics or Caucasians, or Asians, George Zimmerman would have behaved the exact same way towards anyone of them as he did towards Trayvon Martin.

I am so convinced of this, because I am convinced that George Zimmerman has all the traits of a want-to-be cop as well as he behaved exactly as a want-to-be-cop would behave. If he had stopped when told to by the 911 operator, I might feel differently.

Since George Zimmerman did not heed the advice of the 911 operator he is guilty of causing the death of Trayvon Martin, through no ones fault but George Zimmerman’s own. No one can deny, if George Zimmerman
had of taken the advice of 911,
Trayvon Martin, would still be alive.

With “Stand your ground laws” in 22 States, if these laws are not done away with immediately in the next elections, and George Zimmerman is not found guilty of ignoring the 911 operator and taking the law into his own hands, we are certainly going to see many more innocent people killed in America.

That is my opinion and I am sticking to it,regardless of what the jury says. If they find George Zimmerman “not guilty”, then I sincerely know this case will be appealed to a higher authority, even if it is not done on earth, but in Heaven.

Am I proud of myself for being so certain? No, I am not, but when it looks like a skunk, smells like a skunk, and walks like a skunk, I have learned not to let go of my gut instincts or the facts.

If I am wrong, my intuition along with my past history, also tells me I will pay the price for making a false judgment call based on years of my experience in human nature.

I hope I am wrong, because I never want to hear another case like this one again, in a court of law. As parents of a child, Trayvon Martin’s parents, YOU, have all the respect anyone can ever gain, from many folks who believe as I do. God Bless you and your loved ones, always.

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Somewhere over the last 30 years some women have seemingly forgotten we were granted the power of Free will, no differently from the male gender, by our Maker or Creator.

The very same people who relied on birth control, themselves, seem to be very remote in their own memories when it comes to granting the equality of choice to future generations.

It is reminiscent of the older Prostitute, who gains respectability through marriage, and then sits in judgment of the young woman who gets pregnant out of marriage the first time she has sex or when the often told joke in the South touched more on truth than humor.

It was often repeated in the South, accordingly:” I know I got her pregnant Paw but I hain’t going to marry her.” Why not Son? “Because she was a virgin when I met her.” “Well then son if she hain’t good enough for her own family, then she hain’t good enough for our own.”

As the numbers of rape done through strangers, acquaintances, and incest are being denied amongst those who now understand the life-long horrors done to women by rape, while the numbers remain constant or grow, the same people who are most aware, seemingly, want to deny women in even greater numbers, their right to choose.

Too often women, who understand and fight for both our equality and inalienable legal rights granted through “The Equal Rights Amendment”, and our moral right of free will, that separates us from the animal species, are branded as if the fight for equality is a dirty word and done by evil women who are branded as feminists.

Sadly, because of the negative twist that is too often applied to the word feminist it is a word that too many times gets used as a word of disrespect amongst those who deny the equality of genders. Feminists ranks right up there with the word “bitch” that is too often applied to competent women.

When I read the series of books entitled the “Good Wife” or see women gather to learn to better please their husbands in bible groups or in scrap booking groups in individual homes, I am left with a sense of deja vu all over again. Throughout history women have been there and done that while being made to feel the guilt of a marriage that fails.

The Conservative movement in America is really doing a major disservice to the equality of women who come out of cultures who have not advanced to the equality entitled to all Americans or who are made to carry the guilt of blame of what are determined to be deteriorating families in the eyes of the “Good Old Boy” system.

It is true that there are both men and women who marry and neither remains faithful and it is equally true women file for far more divorces than what men do. What women fail to hear are the reasons that women are left to file for divorce.

Men rarely take the vows of matrimony as serious as women do. If it wasn’t for a woman’s insistence of marriage many men would be content to reproduce themselves without the benefit of marriage vows and without legal restrictions to support the child. It is a fact that women to a larger percentage over men, marry for life.

When vows are broken through infidelity, domestic abuse is present, refusal to maintain a family financially exists, and trust is lost, Divorce is most often the burden left for women to carry through on. Although women are guilty of all the same above faults these are faults largely attributable to failures in men.

Men are much more likely to use the lack of a divorce as an excuse to not re-marry again but to move in together without strings attached over women’s desire to re-stabilize their own future prospects. When these above faults are present in the men who women marry too many times women are made to feel guilt that they some how caused the weakness in these men who never had the character of backbone in the first place.

Women are better educated and as such they are becoming the larger bread earners in America today. Men are more content to stay home to help out and raise families, than they have been in the past but a man’s idea of child rearing too often means hiring a nanny or cleaning Lady so he can be free to discover himself.

When parents fail to teach empathy and responsibility to children so children grow up understanding the world isn’t just about them and their wants and needs but also about the wants and needs of those we hold most dear, friends, neighbors, and family who depend on us, families fail. Laziness, Selfishness, or a lack of empathy is not now nor has it ever been gender specific.

I urge all women of all races and backgrounds to remember the word Feminists is a word we all need to be proud of, as it is or should be, the battle cry of all women who seek the justice of moral free will and inalienable legal rights for all people.

It should never matter if Americans are men or women or if they are people who work, breathe, eat, pray, love, vote, drive, gather, marry, remain single, dedicate their lives to others, raise families, stay at home, or discover their own substantial worth or value in America, they are all equal because of the efforts and sacrifices of feminists.

We can never forget that without Civil Rights workers, suffragists, and feminists we would never be able to vote in 2014; Nor would we rank any higher in the eyes of mankind as any one other than a man’s property or chattel.

We need to stop the deterioration taking place by the Conservative movement in America, in an effort to gain back our moral right to free will granted to us by our Creator and our legal rights of equality granted to us by the Equal Rights Amendment by voting as the most powerful block of voters in 2014.

The disgrace in America is not deterioration of families because of the feminists but rather deterioration of respect due to those Americans who hide behind Religious Freedom as an excuse to deny Americans the equality due all of us regardless, of sexual orientation, race, Creed, or gender through the Conservative movements and paid for groups who speak for individual Conservatives in America.

When we become like too many members of the Tea Party who openly say: “it is not my problem if their house falls in the bay, if they do not have Social Security, or if a poor man in a coma dies due to lack of insurance.”; then we can no longer deny the lack of empathy for all Americans is at the crux of the problem.

When we tell those who promote these ideas and attitudes that they are dead wrong at the voting polls through our votes next year perhaps they too will see the faults in their reasoning.

In order for women to right the wrongs, and trust me, it will take women as history has always dictated that it does. We need to begin to turn around the narcissistic movements under way in America through consensus of sisterhood.

It is equally important that we use the elections on the horizon, by joining in fellowship with those politicians whose records prove they also seek justice for all, regardless of gender.

We begin now, by both parents empowering our own children and grandchildren with the power of empathy for all by teaching them charity and sacrifice for the greater good of humanity. We need not be fooled by those who conclude the false assumption,” that a hand up”, is just another name for Socialism.

If both parents fail in teaching the future generations understanding and compassion for others’ rights beyond their own, then Democracy will fail for all of us. Lets get started living by teaching through our own example today. Our actions must match our spoken words if we are to be successful in our own endeavors as parents of the next generations.

The Free will of all future generations depend on it, if we are ever going to have equality for all. None of us ever know if we will be the next one to need a hand-up tomorrow and that we can all take to the bank, even politicians.

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I have tried to correct the grammatical errors in this post previously written by me but in doing so I have managed to take it entirely out of my own blog.  Suffice it to say, I neither have the time or the desire to rewrite the same but I will offer the jest of the same now.

Basically, I wrote that we women must also take responsibilities in the eroding of our own equality due to the often petty and jealous personality disorders that are often borned of the same negative views we hold towards each other. 

Unless we quit judging others who have never walked in our shoes and know we will never walk in theirs, place higher expectations on ourselves and our children than what we wear or what we pay for a pair of shoes, and understand that without Feminists none of us would have choices as to if we worked in the home or out of it, then we will continue losing our right to equality.

We must all understand that women who have the right to choose their own lifestyle and destiny are all feminists.

Before feminists, women were mere chattel that belonged to their husbands and took orders from the same. To be a feminist, who cares and acts accordingly for the rights of all women to determine their own choices, is neither a heretic or a dirty word.

In 2013 we all need to understand the history of women prior to the passage of the “Equal Rights Amendment.” Too many States led by the GOP are once more placing it under attack and weakening the foundation that guarantees women equality and the right to choose.

As long as working Moms think that stay at home moms are both too lazy and ignorant or too pampered to work or the stay at home moms think the working moms are too selfish to make the sacrifices, then we will continue to have division in our own ranks.

When older women who are no longer of child baring age think they have a right to decide for a victim of rape or make a decision against abortion for a woman who will certainly die in child birth if she is not allowed the choice, then we will continue to have division in our ranks.

When women of influence and means misguidedly think the closing of Planned Parenthoods across the Nation, who offers affordable healthcare to the poor, have nothing to do with their or their daughters’ and grand daughters’ own future screenings and birth control choices and they say and do nothing, then we have division in our ranks

When women who have been abused learn to arm themselves while women who have not and a third of all children who die, die from guns in our homes and both groups of women are at opposite ends of the spectrum, then we will still have divisions in our ranks.

When too many women believe that women who choose career over child birth or a single life over marriage are eccentric or selfish, then we will find division in our ranks.The list is long and often petty in the ways we women do divide our own best interests and we do need to take responsibility for the same.

It does us all well to understand there are pertinent truths and necessary facts, regardless of how unpleasant they may sound, when it comes to solving the problems of inequality that still remains in America yet in 2013.

I do not deny that the “Good Old Boy” system has been front and center for generations in dividing us and helping turn us on each other in so many of the political, religious and work areas of our lives. We must accept, however, to rely more on our own intelligence, intuition, sense of fair play, and common sense in knowing that without our permission or vote, we can not be divided in our own unity towards sister-hood.  

When we women are the biggest voting block in the Nation and the politicians often court us through dividing us, and sadly it is a fairly simple manner to do so, we must acknowledge our own role into why women are losing rather than gaining equality in America.

When women far out weigh men in numbers, education, and wealth but we are being denied equal rights by Conservative and Tea Party Mayors, Governors, Senators, and Congress elected members and all Republican Politicians  who support the GOP platform then isn’t something seriously wrong with the picture?

When we know full well that another election is just beyond the horizon in 2014, and these same politicians depend on our votes, then shouldn’t we be held responsible for not voting the GOP incumbents,who are running, all out of office?

Shouldn’t our common sense tell us, unless we are taken seriously as the major voting block in America by the Conservative and Tea Party majority, our right to equality will continue to erode? If we cannot do so for ourselves, then certainly we should be able to do so for our daughters and grand daughters.

Before we begin to criticize the fault in others, it would do us all well regardless of gender, to ask ourselves what it is we,ourselves, are doing right or wrong today?

When we worry less about what our neighbor does but join together in unity instead, without criticism, we often find the results are much more favorable for all of us.  Make it count and enjoy.

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