Friendship And Irritations

Is it just me or don’t we all want our friendships to be kept on the lighter side of life? My experiences have been that if we do tell too many people our problems, as a rule, they will listen a couple of times, especially if they’re women as men will have a difficult time hearing it the first time, and then will tune us out.

Most of us are fortunate enough to have that one really good friend that we can discuss the most private thoughts to,(thats what our spouses or best friends, are for) and otherwise it is my opinion, that we all have burdens enough with problems that the true value of friendship lies in cheering each other up. As I have said before, I have deliberately complained and bitched, at times, just to get a manipulator out of my life when telling them “No” does not work.Nothing in my estimation will drive people away faster than an obsessive complainer.

We all have that friend or had that friend that will tell anyone who will listen, even strangers on the street or janitors at the school, about her or his disappointing or ungrateful or equally defaming words of a loser of a husband,wife,child,friend,neighbor,boss,parent,sibling, etc. and if we do try to offer some good constructive advice, they either have an excuse or ignor it anyway.The sad thing about people who do this, unfortunately, is often times there are people who are truly abused or abusive and it confuses all of us as to if it is a cry for help or a chronic habit.

Too many people do end up feeling dreadfully guilty if they find out later it was a cry for help, and we did not know that it was until our friend is brutalized. I certainly do not suggest that if we are truly friends that we ever desert anyone in a time of crises. Anyone that does will have a very difficult time, I think, in believing they do value friendship. I am talking about the people who want us to live their life for them to the point it becomes habit or interferes in our taking care of our own responsibilities.

Many people, who become comfortable being victims or playing the helpless role, will cry wolf over too many petty things sometimes that we do tend to tune out instead of offer help to those who truly do need our help. We need to lighten up with the understanding that friendship is about love,laughter, and good times, a great majority of the time, as well.

Speaking of petty:), a real pet peeve, I have, are the people who would not sacrifice their own effort an hour much less a week of their time without pay to do something patriotic for someone other than a friend or themself or their Church group, but instead will wear a flag pin in their lapel, everywhere they go to show their Patriotism. When they then tell me.”they hate all Muslims”, Or support those who “Gay Bash”, or say “profiling by the police is necessary for our Freedom and anyone who disagrees with that are just plain stupid”, while wearing the pin, I can’t help but think they are missing the point?

Isn’t Patriotism all about acceptance and sacrifices for and of our differences and diversity so that we all can enjoy Democracy and are willing to sacrifice through our actions? (A personal aside,it does explain to me why so many Republican and Tea Party Politicians appear to have a need to wear the pin while telling those we did elect, “Our way or the Highway.” How long will we the voters tolerate that–Flag Pin or no Flag Pin?)

How about the person that accepts our gifts or pictures and we find out they give them away to another person who we would just as soon not have it? Wouldn’t we all rather that they would be honest enough to tell us that they would just as soon not take it or give it back to us as to find out they gave it away?

You guessed it, my problem at the moment is,”Do I give back the flag pins or keep them and keep my mouth shut?” I’m certainly not such a fickle friend as to regift them or to have a friend’s feelings hurt because they find out I gave them to someone else. Anything to do with politics is probably not a good gift to give unless perhaps it has to do with that individuals own value system. Perhaps I will be able to keep them in the spirit of friendship.

Gifting in an effort to turn anothers’ political views, in my estimation, makes about as much sense as a White Supremist wearing their flag pins to denote their Patriotism. I’m sure I won’t join their club but at the moment I am having a hard time in saying thanks without feeling like a hypocrit, in the process, by being less than honest about how I do feel. People who live their convictions of Patriotism, like all else in life, do not need to advertise or stoop to the level of those who wear them out of a hate grudge. Sadly, the Patriotic Pins have become so much more than what they were intended to be because of those who do choose to hate.

The other thing that amuses me about friends are those who think it is fine to say something insulting but instead call it constructive criticism on how we dress, our views, our appearances and how we spend our time, whenever we see them, and then play the victim role when it comes to,”Why don’t you ever stop and see me anymore?”

Well folks this is my bitch for the day. That’s the good thing about writing a blog. We can truly tune it out if we do not recognize ourselves in it and simply not read it. Blogs aren’t in our face and most of them are nothing more than self expression.

The best friend any and all of us will ever have or can have is ourselves. No one on earth understands us just in quite the same way as we do understand ourselves and as long as we expect someone else to understand us in the same way, we are always going to be sadly disappointed.

To all of us then Cheers and give yourself a hug! The only advice that I will offer today is to take a good look in the mirror when you get a moment,as you should see your best friend looking back. Loneliness, like all emotions, derives from our own refusal to be the kind of person we would most want to spend time with. It only takes doing for others, being appreciative, and having a dog/cat greet us to learn just how significant we all are, if we cannot value ourselves and others as the person God loves.

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To Travel Or Not, With A Dog

In the past, I wrote about our dog, that I got for the express purpose of travel. He almost died when we left him with our friendly Vet. We had been in the habit of boarding him at the vet clinic for the last 14 summers, when we went on vacation, as it gets too hot in the car. Since he had a nervous breakdown and developed colitis when we left in March, we have had to take him with us, when we leave home. Had we made it back a day or two later in March, he would not have been alive as he was really sick. He is an old dog and I don’t know if it was because he is use to traveling with us during the cold months, that he reacted as he did, or the stress of being apart from us is just too much for an old dog. At any rate, he recovered and is back to doing his usual tricks of running our lives and being devoted to us.

The traveling dog idea, changed fairly rapidly, when I found out the hard way unless it is a dive of a motel, dogs are not welcomed at a great many of the motels and never at the nicer hotels in the areas that we travel which entails most of the United States. He loves to travel and take trips so traveling with him is not a problem at all when we are in the car. Getting out and letting him do his thing is actually a relief to my husband, as it gives him a chance to stretch.

Sure we see dogs in all kinds of the nicer motels and even some hotels but they are usually being snuck in by their owners,is my guess. Federal law enforces allowing guide or help dogs into rooms, but little dogs being carried by what appears to be an abled body person, I wouldn’t think, would qualify under the law. We have never had a desire to go against the wishes of the owners of the motels, so do not even try to take a dog in that is not allowed in.

We are living in a day and age where apartment owners learned the hard way, that if they did not allow the family pet in, they would not be able to rent many of their places. It seems to me, if an apartment manager has learned this, then so should the motel owner also know that they lose money, but perhaps enough people do not pay attention to it and sneak in their dogs anyway.

Recently we decided to hit the antique shops of Des Moines, Iowa( If ever in the area don’t miss out on stopping at the Majestic Lion, it will be worth your time) and were turned away both in smaller Iowa towns as well as Des Moines by all motels average to not so average and finally had to stay at the Econo Lodge that was very welcoming of our dog. This is not just common to the State of Iowa but fairly common across the map. Even though it is not a place we have ever stayed before or would stay in the past, we will definitely keep them in mind, as long as our other member of our family is alive, as we travel. When dogs are allowed there is a deposit made in case of accident or damage to the carpet or room as well as no barking allowed, If we leave we need to take him with us.

It is totally selfish on my part, but the idea of never being able to stay at a luxury motel or suite or eat at a nice restaurant, is not all that appealing to me but none-the-less that is what is necessary if we want to leave home. Usually I stay at the room with the dog while my husband calls in and picks up a meal so we still do eat well but miss out on the socializing. I have found over the years, that there are no strangers at an antique auction,casino, or when we travel and I do miss having to give that all up for a dog with stress behavior so it is easier for me to question why nicer hotels and motels do not allow small house dogs in. I would even be willing to have a veterinarian certify him as house broken and free of fleas, if that would help.

I understand why, with the larger dogs, as some of them are hunting dogs that live outside as a general rule and are not usually housebroken and some even have fleas, that could be a real problem. I would think though that the government could make some money or motel owners as a whole if they would ask for something like a hunting dog liscense as versus house dog ,clean of fleas, from a Vet.

They could even leave out all puppies who sometimes chew and destroy but a dog that shares the bed with his folks are more clean, by far, than babies and children who miss the toilet,track in pizza and gum,spill pop and grape juice,spit up and use diapers as well as more quiet than teenagers or drunken adults, partying. I have never been kept up by a barking dog even while staying in a hunting lodge where everyone has a dog, but I have been kept awake or woken up by plenty of parties.

Anyway, if you have a dog, and wondered about traveling with him/her, this seems to me to be the largest problem that we encounter when we do. We always have plenty of water and food with us and offer it along the way. I really do wish motel and hotel owners would be more aware of this member of the family’s needs. In France and some places in California, they welcome dogs into restaurants.

Our dog is a toy cocker spaniel that gets a monthly hair cut dependent on the temperature of the year, and has never developed car sickness and is always over-joyed to go. The things that we all do for that one special, grateful,appreciative loyal member of our families, who always wags their tail in excitement, seems to have no boundaries in our lives, when it comes to gratitude and action on our part in reward of the same. Lets face it, he does not only run our home, he now determines our trips, Selfish Dog:)

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Staying Up For An Old Dog

No I am not talking about my husband, although over the 41 years of our marriage, I have waited up many a night for him to get home from sports activities, meetings, golfing, bowling, hunting, or boy’s night out. I am talking literally here. I am talking about our dog. As people and their pets age they need to get up more often to visit the privy or to go outdoors. It’s a kidney thing that happens to all of us as we get older.

I am somewhat and always have been, a night owl, anyway. If I had not developed a problem earlier in life, with getting comfortable due to an injury problem, I probably would not wait up at night to let my good and loyal pal out to relieve himself. I would do like others and put him on new papers for the night. I do not want to relay the idea that I am totally out of my mind or some kind of a saint that would relinquish their sleep on a nightly basis to spare their husband sleep or to let an old dog out to whiz. Even though I do wait up to do just that. It is not unusual to find myself up, occasionally yet, at 4:00 in the morning waiting for the dog to come out.

I wrote about him previously, and of his having a nervous breakdown when we left him at the vets while my husband and I took a trip out to see our daughter. He was a birthday gift to my husband and he has proven to be quite loyal to both of us. He spreads himself around quite nicely making sure he does not over use one of us over the other. Quite unusual for a dog, as most are a one person pet, and protective towards one member of the family as versus both. He is my duty, during the day and my husband’s job at night. He makes certain he hangs with us in our spots according to the terms he has made for himself.

When our daughters graduated College and both were close to heading out to seek their fortune I bought the dog for my husband for a birthday gift. He had the responsibility of having to put down another family dog and had sworn off all dogs for life. Needless to say he was not too enthused when my youngest daughter and I went and got him a new puppy for his birthday.

That lasted for 72 hours and the dog won him over. He is a toy cocker spaniel which is a cross between the Japanese Chin and the cocker spaniel and was a reject of his family as he could not get papered due to an underbite so when he smiles, he really does smile, he looks like he is ferocious and about to bite.

I wanted a dog that I could spoil and did not have to discipline as I hated that part of parenting and set out to spoil the new member of our family rotten. The dog ended up proving to me the need to discipline as just like children need guidelines and discipline so do pets. I realized I would do a much greater disservice to him if I did not discipline him and make him fit to visit our children’s homes as well as motel rooms.

He almost died on us with colitis this past winter as his grieving for us became so great when we boarded him, so I am delighted to announce that he is back to walking his three miles with my husband, unless it is too hot, and doing just fine as far as jumping on any piece of furniture he cares to sleep on. As of May he was 15 human years of age so if I miss out on a little sleep to let him out at night I figure it is no less than what he would do for me if he had the ability. Although many peope will not tell you this, many of us us that will admit it, will tell you once we get past a certain age, we nod off in our chairs enough to make up for the sleep lost anyway. He is one of those dogs that if you are lucky enough to find one in a life time, then you are lucky enough.

I can’t say enough to all of you, who are responsible and kind-hearted enough and have never had a pet, but are feeling as though your life is missing something, the amount of joy or pleasure a pet will give you in your life. If you find you have love to give, are appreciative of your own life and want to share your life with someone that is both loyal and safe to share your time with then consider getting a pet. Millions of them need people like you.They are a terrific cure for empty nest syndrome. Make sure before you do visit your local animal rescue center though that you are willing to give up both your time and have the means to care for them if they get sick and have medical expenses.

Animal rescue does not have time or the resouces to educate you on the care of a pet so be sure you know if you are ready to add another member to your family. If you can love without reserve you can care for a pet. As loyal as a dog is they are also as helpless as a child so they will need the commitment for their entire lifetime, from you. Our cities are filled with feral dogs running wild because people brought dogs home and were not willing to give them the care they deserved. Don’t add to the problem if all you want is a companion that you are not willing to give back to through sacrifice when needed. On the other hand if you are ready to add to your life more power to you!

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Fickle Friends–Beware of these People

We all have or had people in our life over the years who are incapable of friendship, not because we do not enjoy them, but because there is no real depth to their character. They handle friendships in the same way they handle what they are going to wear or what they are going to eat. In other words, what strikes their fancy for the moment or the day. The following then are people who it would be wise to avoid or at very least treat as acquaintances because they will never be dependable enough to earn the distinction of friend.

1. They have call waiting and when you call they use it as an excuse to hang up on you instead of telling the other person that calls, they will call them back. (if it is an important call and our’s is not then circumstances do change. However, if they never offer to call us back but hang up each time then we kinda have our answer as to how low we rank in their lives)
2. You only hear from them when they are complaining about being bored or about someone else. People that especially belittle or demean others will do the same to us.
3. We only hear from them when they want or need something. That can become fairly consistent or erratic.
4. We meet for lunch and they are always short of tip money, or they offer to pick up the tip if we get the meal.
5. They brag about being a bitch as though it should be a badge of honor and use P.M.S. as an excuse to treat others like crap and find humor in it.
6. When they call they talk for an hour but when we call someone is always at the door or they have to go. If they can’t schedule their life around their needs then we are interfering with their plans.
7. They tell us they do not want to talk about that and go back to a subject that has been discussed and rehashed to the point that we are driven to absolute distraction by the entire subject, and they do not seem to notice.
8. They call to argue or to tell us that they read something that proves us wrong.
9. Talking about hell and damnation or our salvation becomes a common thread in their conversations.
10. Most of their conversations are about what is wrong with their spouses or their children. If a person has little to no loyalty for their spouse or children they will be lacking in loyalty toward us as well.
11. They are chronic liars and we catch them in one lie after another, but they accuse everyone else of lying.
12. We hear excuses about how they had to work when we had plans and others tell us that they are hanging out at the local gossip corner or coffee shop.
13. They always wait and call when they are drunk or have been drinking.
14. They form all or nothing relationships. When the relationship begins they are constantly in our lives until they move onto someone else and then we hear less and less from them. They have a history of doing this to everyone they hangout with.
15. they cut us short when we are speaking, to always talk about themselves. Every sentence begins and ends with I or Me.

I learned a long time ago, that the very best friend in life, is not one that makes us feel, indifferent, hateful towards others,puts us in the position to explain ourselves, applies pressure to accept their point of view, or think less of ourselves, but instead one who wants us to choose what is in our own best interest, while they support it 100%. We have people who come close to doing that in our lives but if we expect to have it 100% of the time then we will need to become our own best friend.

Reality is, just like we have our own best interests at heart, so does everyone else have their own best interests at heart. Many times the two interfere with each other and other times they can compliment each other. If there is little to no tolerance for those changes in our life to apply to us in the relationship, but always on the terms the other person establishes, then they are an acquaintance and should not be classified or mistaken with the honor of friendship.

Respect, appreciation, gratitude,trust and love are always the cornerstones of all good relationships but especially all good friendships. The more we confuse the differences between acquaintances and friendship the less pleasant the relationships will become and the more pain we will feel, if we ourselves, fail to understand or know the difference between the two.

(Please note: Many of us will place others before ourselves, but rare is the person who does not place their interests before another’s. If you doubt that then go to a convention where you have an option between what interests you as versus what bores you, get caught in a disaster situation, or have your child compete against your best friend’s child for the same position, and you will understand more clearly, the difference.)

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“She Was The Person, We Could All Lean On”

If the title reminds you of someone who you either are or know I would caution you to tune into the needs of either yourself or the person you are leaning on. There is only so far anyone can stretch themselves before it starts taking a toll on their or your own happiness, health and well-being.

It is a wonderful place to be in when we are young and full of energy because giving of ourself to others is rewarding, however, I would caution all of you that it also can and does lead to burn-out. We see it often in nursing staffs and teachers that start out wanting to give all they have, only to end up frazzled and burnt out. They go from the cheerful and uplifting ,many times to the grumpy and indifferent.

Family and friends also turn to people who are willing to give of themselves to only end up saying,”what happened to her? She use to be so easy-going and carefree and now she seems like she doesn’t even care.” If any of this sounds familiar to you then do something for the person you are thinking of or speaking of, not tomorrow but today. The truth is you are quickly using this generous person’s time and patience up. You would be surprised at how far respect, appreciation, and gratitude goes. A simple thank you for always being there will go much further than a shared glass of wine.

If you value her at all, you will take time to acknowledge her. Do not think that your one-act of kindness justifies her many, many, efforts and time spent on you. If you take her out to eat and it includes yourself, it will not be seen as an act of kindness done for her. It needs to be something that she has done for you that gets returned to her, without including yourself.

If it is a neighbor or a man then the same applies. People all are born busy, regardless of how you justify it to yourself. Not only do these people have as much to do as you do, many of them have much more than you do, as they are not just busy and concerned about you and your problems, they are doing the same with many others and that you can be certain of, always.

If instead you are of the attitude or thinking, “If she does not want to do it, she is a big girl, she can say no.” or “No one is putting a gun to her head and forcing her to do it” or “I can’t mistreat her without her permission”,rest assured, you are a selfish ass, to put it bluntly. Perhaps it would be kinder to say thoughtless or uncaring? What you may be thinking and saying, may be true, but she hasn’t yet seen through you. It is just a matter of time that she does, and you will lose possibly the only person in your life, that loved and accepted you for nothing more than you being yourself.

These are rare friends to find and the most worthy of keeping. Take a moment to ask yourself, “if you have or had such a person in your life?” We all did or do, and no I am not talking about our mothers, as mother’s love is or should always be, unconditional. I am not discounting all the mothers that do their commitment well or telling anyone to take them for granted, I simply am not including them in this post. Making people happy is a gift that many other people have as well, when we don’t have the same gift, and we are all Blessed when we are wise enough to know we had or have one of these angels in our life. If you’re half as smart as you think you are, you will correct it before it does go from have to had. Have a good day all!

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Mother’s Day Is Different For Different People

Just as the gifts under our Christmas trees come in different sizes and different wrappings so do our mothers. Some people never get to know their mothers beyond what another family member tells them. Sometimes that betrayal or discrepancy runs the gamut from a Saint to the worse bitch on earth.

Either can be an exaggeration or fairly close to the truth. Whatever the case, there will not be many today that do not wish they could have just a day with the mother they never knew or forgot what she was like. All children should justifiably be able to determine what kind of mom they had without either another person’s spread of hate or denial suggesting, sainthood.

All mothers make mistakes and to cloud the true picture of who she may have been is unfair to both you and her. If these daughters/sons have children of their own they will make Mother’s Day about themselves or their wives but always feel a void for the mother, that has never been there, in their memory. No matter our age we all need a mother in our life and no one is more glorified than the mother that is missing.

When reality gives us the mother that abuses,neglects, withdraws, or suffers from “me”-syndrome, finding a card each year can be one of our major struggles. Hallmark assumes that we all had that perfect mother that wiped our noses,sacrificed for us and loved us unconditionally in the spirit of joy and without complaint. If she qualifies for sainthood or not Hallmark will make the card that says she does.

Many of us did not get to have a mother that did put us first over her own needs or appearance. Some of us even grew up hearing that the reason we were born was because our mothers told us,”she was afraid she would go to hell if she used birth control. For those of us that have forgiven and choose to love our mothers instead, we envision the mother we never had and go into denial long enough to celebrate the day knowing that regardless how she was as a parent she did the only job she was capable of doing and honor her for the sacrifice that all mothers make either willingly or unwillingly when it comes to giving us life.

Others are so use to never having any interests shown them by their mothers, beyond what they can do for her, that they will simply let the day pass and celebrate with their own families. Sometimes pain and hurt runs so deep or after a while we just quit caring that we tell ourselves,”maybe next year.” Often times these mothers feel deserted and do not have a clue that perhaps they are the reason their children felt unloved and driven away from their life. It is an unfortunate circumstance when a mother finds herself all alone. Sometimes it is because she deserted her children, behaved as a bitch on wheels and other times she spoiled her children to the point that they never got over the “me-first” syndrome of life themselves.

Other times we are blessed to have that mother that the Hallmark Company writes about. Due to circumstance of distance, money, or responsibilities we cannot spend the day with her. She is the first to understand. We remember her with a card or flowers and hope it is enough. Some of us live so close to our mother that we see her each week and sometimes more. Often times whether we live next door or long distance, we know that Mom will drop everything and be there for us. She will stop a bus with her own body before she will ever let it hit us. It is an unconditional love that we never, question, doubt, and too many times take for granted. Many times Mom is our best friend and we do not always know or understand just how good of a friend she is. Mankind as a whole can sometime take the good amongst us for granted so Mother’s Day is a day to take note if we are one of the fortunate ones.

Then there are those of us that think because we did not get the Mother that we think we should have gotten we need not bother. Often times this mother gave what she could and did the best she could. Many times she gave too much of herself and never denied us a thing. In this case we are the problem and it is time that we grow up before we realize what a gift God did grant us in our mothers and they are gone. Other times she is a deserter, alcoholic, drug user and left us emotionally years ago but not before causing us pain and scars that no one can ever be expected to recover from.

Evil(when we think of mothers that do kill their children) can and does exist in the form of a Mom. It is very difficult for the law to understand this much less our families and friends. In the case of the later, the best we can do is forgive and become the mother we would like to have had for ourselves. Sometimes to honor from a distance is still more than most of us will ever be able to handle. sometimes being able to pattern her as the person to not be like will make us better mothers than most.

I write this today to show all of us. regardless of age, that mothers do come in different packages. Because of that we may need to reach out and mentor the young family next door because they have no mother that either can or will. No one likes to have another person’s idea or opinion crammed down,”their throats” so sometimes we will need to wait until we are sought out for help. Making ourselves available by being a friend,will give us much more leaway to have the opportunity to help than avoiding them or only gossiping about them will ever accomplish. People for the most part do know and understand when our offers to help are genuine or not.

A lot of the times when we do see poor parenting skills, we often times are living next door to a family that was raised without any hands on parenting and do not have a clue what is and what isn’t abuse. We as compassionate neighbors cannot afford to say to ourselves, any longer, “Oh well it is none of our business” anymore than we can set back and judge or criticize others. A mother or child’s life could be behind the scream that we hear. We need to report all screams, smells(especially with the escalation of meth being cooked right under our noses and the damage that does to children) and unusual circumstances in our neighborhoods before not after it is too late.

To get involved is a wonderful way for those of us that have had the opportunity to have wonderful parents or have figured out parenting skills to be able to give back. Children more than ever need to feel loved. Especially for those that have made a conscious and deliberate thought to doing something with their lives that does not involve motherhood but have been blessed with nurturing skills. Also for those that want to be mothers but are stressing over getting pregnant. Many times in order to understand fully the true involvement of parenthood it takes experience but it only takes compassionn to recognize abuse. It does not always take blood connections or giving birth in order to be a mother. It also helps ease the pain for those that suffer or feel left out on Mother’s day to feel better about the day when they are offering love and security to a child.

Finally then, I wish each and every mother a Happy Mother’s Day!. Although it is a job and a life-time dedication, if done right, we will never again know a day that we are not aware of our own ability to put someone other than ourselves, first, and feel good about our ability to do so. when needed. No job or act of living or sound of voice so sweet, can ever hold more meaning or honor than that of being called “Mom.”

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My Thoughts–Part ll

Today I will just write about a hodge-podge of things. I will begin with the most important of thoughts on my mind today and that is that our dog is back to full and complete recovery! If you have followed my blogs then you know that he suffered a breakdown when we left home for two weeks. He is 14 so it wasn’t for sure that he was too old to make a complete recovery. We are delighted to say the least! It’s always hard to have to put down a good and faithful pet friend so we feel very Blessed that he is back to being his old perky happy self and that he can get enough control back so we get some sleep again. A few more years “Old Friend!”

I have had it heard that if government, churches, corporations, and companies just got rid of lawyers then we could all go back to the hand shake and a person’s word over contracts and society would be a better place again. If you read my last blog then you know that in our society it is the people’s law that has always been one step ahead on compassion for the less powerful amongst us. History shows that the voice of the people makes the law that keeps and kept us honest and civilized long before either the bureaucrats of government or the churches and certainly corporations recognized the failures of mankind. As a population grows it brings with it more problems. If all of mankind had compassion then we would not need government or laws but mankind is not pre-disposed towards morality in the same families much less in the same generations.

The generation before mine has been labled the greatest generation but it certainly doesn’t mean that all of the members of the generation were great. It was a generation that both encouraged as well as condoned prejudices,bigotry,segregation,as well as spousal and child abuse because it was the man’s role to control both, or at least was blind to the fact that it existed. Terminology like discrimination against minorities or women, or sexual harassment was yet decades away much less considered against the law. It was also the first generation that made making contracts over a handshake necessary.

Scientists for years have been stumped by why in one family alone, raised by the same two parents with presumely the same rules why one will pay their bills while the other one takes no moral responsibility towards them; Why one will go to jail while another will be a fine and upstanding citizen; Why one will feel an obligation to give back to society while another will take or at very least do nothing unless they get paid for it,,,,etc.,etc.. I certainly have no answer for it.

I just hope that if I do nothing else that my blogs help us understand the need to look more inward towards seeing ourselves as much of the probelm as we are the solution. Depending totally on government, religion, and family to take care of our own short comings is as much a part of what is wrong as anything else. I know the democrats would like to believe it is all the republicans while the republicans belive it is the democrats but didn’t we sit back and let it happen as well? Not to mention believed 8 years of lies and voted them in.

I do believe that the hope for us as a society does come from each and everyone of us taking responsibility for what is the right thing to do, meeting our own responsibility and to keeping our own counsil with much less thought on why the Joneses are doing or not doing something unless it is a family in need, that could use our help up.

And finally today, I wonder why the maytag washer and dryer and the sears refrigerator that we bought in 1972 still runs and works great yet but by 1980 the appliances became ready for the dump in 10 years or less. It doesn’t make sense that appliances should become less dependable rather than more dependable unless they are deliberately designed that way. Also I wonder why when the patent was bought out by a tire company years ago to build tires that would last the lifetime of our automobiles, why we are yet to see the tires?

I guess it takes acknowledging that a fast one is being pulled, getting involved ourselves instead of waiting for the next guy to do it, and then contacting government. Unless we are tired of government in our lives. In that case then, I guess, instead of bitching about government we need to be getting citizens organized and signing petitions to make corporations more honest. But Lordy. Lordy, Lordy where would we start when it comes to both offering compassion and stopping greed? I guess I’ll have to rest a spell on that!

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Why Dogs Make Great Therapists!

For people that do not like dogs, I feel bad for you. No matter what kind of a rotten day we have, our dogs,are DELIGHTED to see us. If we have been gone 30 minutes or 30 hours it makes no difference to them. Most can hear our vehicles coming from blocks away so by the time we walk into the house they are over-excited, as if they won the lottery, just because we walk in the door.

No matter how poorly we feel, how broke we are, how disturbed we are, our dogs care. We are their Lord and Master and no better, ever lived, in their eyes. Of course some of it is because they are impatient to be fed, walked, watered, or just let out to pee. But leave them with someone else for a few days and they start grieving, so we know that it is more than just serving their needs. They actually care about us, unconditionally.

We can watch anything on television we want to watch and they do not complain. Place a towel on the refrigerator door and some will even go get us a beer or soda. If someone shows up at our door without the best of intentions, they sense it, and bark or growl. They could care less what we wear, look like or if a new pimple has sprouted.

The best part about our buddy, though, if we have a problem we need to discuss and work out they will sit there with perked ears and genuinely, listen. They save us thousands of dollars because they make the best of therapists. They do not force us by asking about our childhoods or take us to areas that we find too painful to divulge. They let us go at our own pace. They will always agree with our character assessments of others. If we say such and such is a bitch or a real ass we get no argument from them.

They are 100% loyal to us and many will give up their lives for us. They have been known to take a bullet or perish in floods or fires to save their masters and their families. So today, as we settle in to watch the Super Bowl, lets not forget the one buddy that will always be there without invitation or expectation, the family dog. If they need to pee, go for a walk or be fed, don’t ignore them because the game is on, as they will never ignore, us. Go SAINTS!!! Who Dat?

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