WELCOME HOME AMANDA KNOX!

Finally!What can I say that those of us who knew this was a miscarriage of justice, for both Amanda Knox and Raeffaele Sollecito, haven’t already been saying for almost 4 years now? On May 23, 2010, I wrote a post entitled “A Black Eye On Italian Justice,”and seriously questioned the justice of this case.

For those who do not know:on the very first day following the murder of Amanda’s roommate, Meridith Kercher of Britain, the police gathered together 100 items for forensic testing. Up to this point all was quite above-board. Those 100 items of uncontaminated forensic items clearly showed the murderer and rapist to be Rudy Guede.It would take time to get the results back as well as track down Guede,as prior to this, no one was even considering Rudy. Amanda and Raeffaele were considered suspects from the first day, although they had no evidence on either of them at this time. Guede would flee and be arrested later and then acknowledge his presence at the apartment, later.

He was considered a nuisance by the girls. Amanda barely knew him and Raeffaele did not know him at all. There are no records,witnesses, or evidence, phone or otherwise,tying Raffaele or Amanda to Rudy at anytime, much less the night in question. The District Attorney had a fascination with the Occult and a gut feeling about Amanda and Raeffaele from the start and refused to let go of them as suspects.

After the initial testing of the clean DNA, the prosecution office would wait 46 days and gather up seriously contaminated items from the crime scene. Much of this evidence was piled on top of other evidence,as well as walked on, and both would further contaminate it. This forensic evidence set and collected dust,of skin cells and hair that fly through the air in any contained apartment or home, for the 46 days, so the material collected did not even come close to fitting the International code of forensic standards nor the FBI’s, when collected, for DNA purposes.

When they found the finger prints on the knife, were those of Amanda’s, this was forensics that would be disputed by the person doing the autopsy, and it could never reach the standards set for forensic evidence if the D.A hadn’t of kept lowering the bar of acceptance lower and lower, as has been reported elsewhere. The person doing the autopsy, would say, “this knife was too large to be the murder weapon.” They would then find a totally clean pocket knife of Raeffaele’s and say, “there must have been two knifes since his was smaller.”

The so-called forensic evidence of Raeffaele’s was as poor as if he shook the hand of someone else, and those skin cells of the person he touched, or DNA, would be found on a sink he later touched or even on another’s hand. An example would be; If he used the toilet and flushed it and Meredith then followed him and flushed it, she would pick up Raeffaele’s skin cells or DNA, after she used it, and then transfer his DNA when she fastened the clasp on her own bra: this then is the same kind of forensic DNA they found of Raeffaele’s, on Meredith’s bra clasp. Three other people’s DNA would be found on this same section of her bra, as well, since it was so poorly mishandled.

These two things would convict the two of them.Even though no forensic lab in the World accepts this kind of contaminated DNA as both are way below even considering as accurate DNA standards anywhere in the World.Every forensic Scientist knows to change their gloves after touching each piece of evidence but they did not do so, as pictures showed that all of their gloves were filthy. Instead of wearing the disposable plastic gloves, they chose to wear white cloth gloves. Everything was highly transferred and contaminated,due to the absorbency of these gloves,and as a result of not changing gloves with each piece of evidence.

Amanda also showered and tracked the blood of the victim, Meredith Kercher, she later discovered on the bathroom rug, into her room with her wet feet. This along with all the forensic evidence they collected was so contaminated that no forensic laboratory would ever accept this type of DNA, either.None of the evidence after the first day even came close to qualifying in any lab in the World.

As all of we women know, when washing a knife, we will sometimes pick up a knife, while hanging onto the handle, and simply wipe off the blade and put it back in the drawer.Even if Amanda’s finger prints were not highly contaminated she would have finger prints as well as blood smears in her own apt. 4 women living together, all would have blood smears, as a result of their periods or just cutting themselves while slicing or cooking, as is fairly typical around any home or apartment.

The prosecutor in this case was found guilty of misuse of his office in another case separate from Amanda’s and kept setting the bar lower and lower on the DNA evidence and then would announce that it was uncontaminated when not a single lab in the World would have even looked at this evidence, since after the first day when they found neither Amanda’s or Raeffele’s DNA, none of the DNA, was anything but sub par to any standards set in the International forensic labs, and would never be acceptable.

They were denied lawyers and Amanda did not understand the language. When they demanded that she imagine or speculate how the murder may have happened, she had no choice, because they had kept them up for hours and even hit her on the head with books so she co-operated. The room was reportedly, filled with policemen, When she tried to speculate they accepted it as her confession and she was given 26 years with Raeffaele given 25 years both for murder.

Thanks to one judge saying.” something was not right with the DNA evidence and they needed to hear them on appeal,” she and Raeffaele won the attention of this judge on appeal and have been acquitted of murder by two judges and a jury. Appeals are all automatic in Italy just as they are in the United States. Amanda will be released and coming back to Seattle where she grew up; it is also the area that never gave up hope for her or wavered on their support of her innocence.

Yellow journalism entered the picture in both Perugia as well as Britain, and since it was Halloween,and the District Attorney was bent towards thinking in terms of the Occult, witches and satan worship, along with corruption and gossip would be speculated on as far as Amanda and Raeffaelle were concern.

Amanda, when encouraged to think in terms of the occult, would involve another person with her speculation and for that she has been fined and served the time. Sadly the same people interrogating her and Raeffaelle are experienced with interrogating the mafia and Amanda was only 20 years of age and still quite naive, along with not understanding the language.

All kinds of false information along with corruption would surround this case. Also the attitude that all American women are loose or whores would be intermingled with the case that would lead to gossip of sex games gone awry. The “Foxy Knoxy” stories coming out of Brittain, along with what was being confused with Amanda’s own behavior as to bewilderment, which all innocent people would most likely express, would also add to the stories being told.

The sad thing is they had a simple robbery that led to rape and murder with the clean DNA, collected the next day, and if Guede was not pressured to include both Amanda and Raeffaele, even though neither were there, this case would have been settled almost 4 years ago. The Meredith Kercher family could have begun their grieving almost immediately.Sadly there will now always be those who believe Amanda and Raeffaele, who are entirely innocent, are suspect.

To the Italian judge, who questioned this case and to the jury who found contaminated DNA unacceptable, we say,”Thank You! To all who put in dedication, money,sweat equity,had to deal with insults, and believed in the innocence of Amanda and Raeffaele,in this case, I salute You! I feel your joy and celebrate with you. I was hopeful 14 months ago that a higher power than these mere men would set both Amanda and Raeffaele free, but not until today could we dare say, “Welcome Home Amanda and Raeffaele!”

The world, who has both followed this case and brought pressure on those involved,as well as believed in the innocence of these two College kids, is delighted that the Italian justice system did work, eventually, in this case. My apology to all Italians and your Court system, for doubting that it would.

Our hearts and prayers go out to the Kercher family, who have suffered unmercifully and who will always have to live with unnecessary questions, and to Amanda and Raeffaele, and their loved ones who have had to suffer unjustly, and will always have to live with a cloud over their head, because of the misguided path chosen by the DA, in this case, and Judges who bought into it.

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Cont…..But He Is A Good Father

The two biggest arguments that women use when staying in an abusive relationship are:”I still love him,” and “He is a good father.”

If we could get through the message to people who are abused that it takes both people to show and express love and that love does not hurt then perhaps the abused would look at their relationships more realistically. I’m not sure how we do that,myself, as many times the abused have been told so many times “how worthless they are.” many are convinced that they and their children can not survive if they do leave the marriage. All I do know for certain is that telling women that they do have a duty and obligation to go back to the marriage bed and to try harder to work with their husbands and to pray does not work and often leads to tragedy to the entire family.

All the favorite meals,mood lightening, and following detail to the explicit demands of an abuser does nothing towards stopping the abuse, either. One of the other problems of abuse is many times when women do say, “I don’t have time to do what he wants today,” and he does come home and beats her,she will think it is her fault because she did not follow orders. The abused do start believing that they are as dumb,fat, and ugly as they are being told they are by the abuser. They all forgive and promise they will never do it again,of course,but it never last. During the forgiveness period many are that sweet loveable person the women fell in love with and they become convinced they are deeply in love and could never leave, all over again. Living in fear becomes a rush and if it does not become comfortable then it becomes normal for them, the longer it goes on. It becomes easier all the time to deny all of the rest.

Of course, a parent who is thinking clearly, would never say,”He mistreats me but he is a good father.” We all understand that children cannot watch turmoil between their parents and come out with anything but psychological damage as a result of it.We know that whether children are watching abuse take place on others or it being inflicted on themselves, it alters the personality of the person they were meant to be as early as 3 years of age. To cause this kind of damage to a child does not make any of us a good parent when we realize that this type of harm or damage will affect the entire life of our children. They will grow up totally confused as to how to effectively deal with a relationship and many times will abuse themselves.

Other times the children come out just as demoralized as the battered women because just as she has no self-esteem or identity beyond him neither do the children. The sons will often repeat the same disgusting names to both their mother or sisters as are coming out of the mouth of the abuser.Many times he learns that the only value women have is to wait on and look after a man. The sons learn to bully and the daughters learn to withdraw, other times sons will become intimidated and withdraw while daughters become more aggressive and tend to become more sexually active when incest, many times becomes part of the abuse as well. This is typical behavior patterns when the abused are saying.”He is a good father.” no differently than when the children are being beaten as well.

Policemen can pick up the mentally ill and have them hospitalized without family approval in cases of discovery according to the Baker law. The problem is that putting women into shelters under the same circumstances will often times jeopardize the safety of the other abused women who are in hiding. If the victims do not want to go or be there, which is often the case, they will get ahold of their abusers and let them know where they are and once the secret address of the shelter becomes known then the safety it offers for other abused victims no longer exists.

Like all of the problems that do seem unsolvable there are solutions once an entire community of experts put their heads together to come up with different ideas. Sadly that all costs money and time and too many do not have one or the other to offer to the group. I am the first to admit that I do not have much to offer in way of solution,myself. I just understand that as long as we ourselves go into denial when our friends tell us they ran into something that gave them the black eye,because we do not want to embarrass our friend,we do the abused a disservice by not discussing it. Too many are ashamed to talk about it but once confronted by understanding instead of accusations, when the relationship is a close one,many times they will want to talk.

If we educate ourselves on the knowledge available to them like going to see their Doctor or the police and enquire about getting into a shelter or they will only repeat the behavior until it becomes worse, we can help empower them. Offering sympathy will only make them feel better temporary and they will go back to the abuse. Other times they will rely on us for their courage and do nothing else, Many times when the abuser finds out the abused are relying on a confidant they will end the relationship. I repeat, we need to empower them to get help so they do not rely on our hand holding but instead rely on their own ability to seek help.

Currently in some of the States when police are being called to domestic calls, both the abuser and the victim are being arrested and spend the night in jail or at least a couple of hours until things cool down a little. I do not think putting abused victims in jail is right but if we did pass laws that made protecting abuse and abusers illegal in our State, perhaps the abused could be hospitalized and at least kept long enough to try to work with the mental damage that is often done to the entire family by an abuser. I can already see the problems that could come out of that as well, and that is why abuse is such a difficult problem to work with and to solve.

Like everything else that is preventive, we simply need to learn and educate ourselves while we are dating and making lifetime choices for a mate. If he or she strikes or hits us or throws things at us, while dating, he or she will become much worse after marriage. Dating is the time that we are on the best of behavior and any names being thrown at us while dating will go from being cute to vindictive after marriage. Anger that is not part of the grieving process very rarely subsides without being able to release it. Healthy people will talk to someone or get professional help in order to either let go or to work more effectively around it. Others hide it behind alcohol and drugs. If we are doing both with the abusers while dating then we need to understand the hell we will put our children through if we marry them and continue the same recreational behavior.

All parents need to know and understand just how important an education beyond highschool is to all of our children. Both boys and girls. Too many times the number one reason that our children do stay in an abusive situation is because of the fear that they could not financially support their children alone,as well as, they can by staying in the abusive situation. Education does not only give them the out to do that but it also establishes the confidence in our children that often leads to their knowing they deserve better and to get out before any more damage is done to their children or our grandchildren. None of the expensive birthday parties or clothes that we are currently buying them will lead to the success of their lives as an education will. Even though abuse does also exist in the educated, it is considerably less, and nothing empowers our children like an education does.

Whatever lays ahead for abuse I feel it needs to be dealt with,as it lies at the root cause of what Americans should be most ashamed of, as well as, is twin to crime, in America today. To just wash our hands and give up or worse yet to blame the victims and do nothing, when we are so much better as a Nation than that,shows poorly against us all.At the same time I applaud all of you who have dedicated their years and time working towards finding solutions only to find out that the root problem towards solutions does lie in the victims themselves, who have been so deeply brainwashed in fear or have learned to adapt to it,to the point they do refuse help offered to them,too many times.Somewhere there is a bridge that will join the gap that does lead to successful treatment and my faith is in the fact that we will find it. Thanks to all of you who are looking.

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Do We Choose Financial Misery?

We have all known them. They are the ones who say,”No matter how hard I tried, I could never catch a break.”,”I just wasn’t lucky like other people were”,”My husband never had the temperament that would have ever allowed us to succeed”,”I could never have done that,” “Or it seems like whatever I did there was always someone out to get me.’

A great deal of the cloud that seems to follow some,at least in their minds, does have to do with their own attitudes. Many do have an opportunity to prove themselves but when they reach the point it is going to mean real effort on their part they quit or fail to put forth the effort it takes to achieve. There are people who are genuinely afraid of success because if they fail at it, they will not be able to blame anyone but themselves nor will they be able to convince others or themselves what a hollowing success they could have been if they were just given the chance to prove themselves. Other times we have such a low self-esteem that we will defeat ourselves before we even get started.

Our attitudes play a great role in the signals we give off to future or current employers.Our appearance and how we dress, use to play a bigger role on the job than it does now, but most places still hire on that alone,if we have the youth and education to go along with it. Previous experience will always win out over none. If we argue each time that we cannot put in the extra hours it will not be long before we are slated for heading out of the door. If we always have aches and pains or allergies that interpret to the idea that we are not able to handle the job, we won’t be asked to do it, and we will once more be slated for dismissal.If we are the local loud mouth who knows everything but our performance lags then we also many times will get the pink slips.

There are many times, people who take jobs because they are getting pressure from home and have no intent of holding the job any longer than it takes to leave and draw unemployment,We need to show initiative to get ahead on our own and many times when we don’t we defeat our own ability to make gains in the Company, Others have the attitude that they are better than the 9 to 5 job. They think they are slated for greater things and the 9 to 5 jobs are for losers and slouches but not for them.

Most of us fail to realize that the largest part of our wealth, we will ever gain towards retirement comes from the income that we earn during our productive years. If we never save and spend every penny of it we will never have what others have. We may have a nicer wardrobe or more shoes that go out of style one season to the next but we will not be able to accumulate enough income that will grow towards retirement.If we do not pay bills when they are due then the amount of the fees and interests we pay along with the over-draft fees many times will come to much more than what we spent on the original item in the first place. We all have way more money to spend once we realize how much is going out and make being debt free our first priority. Much of our earned income is often times the only money that we will ever have.

Many investments will and do fail. Too many people will stick whatever they have all in one basket and if the person who runs the Company,Savings and loan, or fund is corrupt or has hired an inept person or people, we will and do lose every penny we did set aside for later. Often the failure will frighten us off to the point that we never invest again. When we do allow failure to frighten ourselves off we can be certain that we will lose even more, in the long run. Every financially successful person has failed a number of times before they did get it right.

Unless we work for family or are able to establish a successful small business of our own, rare is the person who will not be laid off at least once,lose one home and need to move. Even when we do work for ourselves more will fail than succeed. To think we won’t stumble or be forced to start over at some point in our life is somewhat naive. More people will work and retire at 65 when they work for a small business than a large firm. It is almost unheard of today in any large Company or Corporation.

We need to understand the credentials and history of all the top echelon,who are calling all the shots on our investment. We need to beware of diversity and spreading what we are able to save, through various avenues other than putting our earned income all into one basket. As bad as it is to lose part of our investment, it is always better than to lose all of it.

Just because a business has a store front or a past reputation of making money or delivering good advice, does not mean that all people within the network are always capable. Many times Dad and Grandpa will have run a profitable business and the children will run it into the ground, along with board members who are more valued out of friendship than business savvy.

Check on your investments. Don’t just put them in and assume they are safe. Sometimes we will know more or understand the economy better than those hired to protect our investments. If it is too good to be true then it is too good to be true no matter how good of a friend your friend says this guy is. We never pay anyone anything to win or to inherit anything and anyone who tells us that we have won or been left an inheritance that we just have to pay the taxes on are nothing but scam and con artists and in some cases can be quite dangerous if we refuse to pay after we have already made the mistake to pay once.

The reason our grandparents told all of us to set aside a little something for a rainy day is because it was wise advice. When the day comes when we need to replace the roof or buy new appliances we do not want to take out another loan on the house, whatever we or the savings or loan or the banks call the loan, a home improvement loan or a loan by any other name that clears equity in our homes is, nothing more than taking out a second mortgage. It may be that we borrow against another holding or replace one appliance at a time as the need arises. Other times we can save our bonuses and tax returns so that we can do individual rooms at a time, and pay cash as we go.

Refinancing,unless it is for a lower interests rate,is never more than a second mortgage. Second and third mortgages do not only raise our interests rates across the board they make us all more vulnerable as our house will be foreclosed on where the homes with equity in them have other options at the time our lives take drastic changes. When we still have equity in our homes, we will have the option to sell sometimes at a comfortable profit and reinvest in something smaller or to reorganize or refinance, because we will have leverage in equity or cash.

I repeat, people never want to take the equity they gain out of their homes as to do so means we are getting second and third mortgages and making ourselves much more vulnerable when the job decides we have reached 50 and it is time to work us out of the Company because the department we were hired to work in is being phased out or we are being laid off at any age. Too many people fail to realize that no matter how loyal we are to a large Company or Corporation, the company is only interested in profit and that is their bottom line. Their intent is to please the stock holders first. There are no more of the work until your 65 and we will give you the gold watch ceremonies, left in Large Companies or Corporations.

More and more people are finding that their terms of employment are ending between 45 and 50. There are supposed to be laws against that but all Companies have their own team of lawyers who dot every I and cross every t before they lay us off and can find grounds by simply saying the Company is going a new direction. There will be tons of class action lawyers trying to get you to pay a little something or to sign on the dotted line and they will go after the bastards but believe me, it is for the lawyers benefits more times than not. More Companies are also hiring two-part time employees over one full-time in order to get out of paying for benefits.We need to be aware of our own ability to put aside and to invest and never trust someone else who is promising us a sweet deal. Too many sweet deals end up in their pocket and they are the only ones who will get the sweet deal. The rest of us will be broke. Never believe the person who tells us that they just need to borrow for a short time until their own cash comes,unless we can verify the information ourselves. If it means paying a penalty to cash in our own personal investments, then don’t do it.

The question was then,”Do we Choose Our Own Financial Misery?” The answer is many times “yes”, especially when we ourselves are the worse offenders of all when it comes to spending more than we earn. Other times it’s a little greyer of an area. Some of us are just too trusting, other times people are immigrants and not aware of our laws, cons prey on the elderly who no longer have the ability to reason and do not have family members to guide them. Other times people are bankrupted by health and crime.Corrupt Evangelists or corrupt Cults can convince many deeply religious or confused people to sign over everything they have or own.

No one is better skilled than the manipulator or con artists who sometimes are our own children,parents or extended family members. Yes we do all need to understand that people will stand in line once they find out that we are generous or aging, to get every dime we have and we are responsible to know the difference, but many times we are people who fail to know that con people are everywhere. It is important that we do appoint a trustworthy person to handle our accounts or to set up trusts and handle our estates while we do have the ability to know who is dependable and not.

If the estate is small, then the safest way many times, is putting it into small varied accounts and C.D.s,bonds, or interests bearing savings accounts in your local bank. You won’t get rich this way but at least your money will be safe as the bank will ask you why you are taking out the money and they can advise you if that would be wise or not. Never,never, never trust the person who tells you not to tell your bank why you need the money. That has crime written all over it.

I guess then the truth to the question is yes,if we are talking about a family who had the physical and mental potential to earn a middle-class existence or better,unless we are victims of health problems that bankrupt us and of crime that we could not foresee. We all have a responsibility to make and find our own financial stability. We are not only responsible for earning the income but also responsible for how we use or spend the income we earn.

We need to educate ourselves as well as listen to the opinions of the experts, to know if it is more feasible to borrow money and on what terms as well as where and when we should invest. It is true that many times those who are willing to take the greater risk, as long as it is done with some knowledge or common sense, are more likely going to make the greater gains. We can be too cautious if we do not educate ourselves on taking a few risk and doing our own research on it.There are still more honest people in the business than dishonest.Many times we can and do well to use a combination of both ourselves as well as bonded brokers,realtors,bankers,and financiers,which the great majority are.Some will be “dice throwers” while others are conservative investors and if you have done your homework you will know the difference. Sometimes the investments can justify borrowing money as the investment will bring us a greater return than what we will pay out on interest.

Too many people have wrongly gone with the idea; “we need to spend money in order to make money”, without understanding fully what the risk are that it entails.Some not many people, who have more knowledge and income than we do, can make that idea work, but it does not come without a high risk ratio, especially if we go into it blindly. If getting rich this way was such a sure thing or a common occurrence then there would be more than 1.3% of the population,with most of those having inherited from oil, in the wealthy class. As long as we look for blame and make excuses we can always find both but neither will protect our income.

Many of us do not knowingly cause our own hardships but regardless of if it is our homes,checking accounts, or extra income we do need to get the information that is necessary to protect ourselves against those who would manipulate or con us out of it. Although our hearts do go out to those who really did think they were doing the right thing and met the wrong person or people whose only interests lie in making certain that the trusting and good of heart do end up broke. We cannot spend everything in our productive years and think we will be retired to do the things that we wish to do when we retire. The Ryan Plan backed by the Republican majority is another such move to spell disaster to those who are unprepared for retirement. We must tell our Congressmen,to “Leave Social Security and Medicare, alone!”

We should make the laws tougher against the corrupt and con artists but sadly a great majority of them are never prosecuted because it cost too much to do so. We all need to remember that regardless of our age, our own identity can be stolen in a matter of seconds, and that is no treat to try to correct,either. All credit cards,checking accounts and Social Security numbers are subject to theft with or without our own carelessness, sadly.

If we remember nothing else,”Ignorance is no excuse in the face of the law,” and “the only person we can trust to be as concern as we are about our own money is ourselves,” If we fail, before we turn our money over to another, to check to see if an insurance company, savings and loan Company, a broker or an individual is licensed, Federally insured or are bonded, as well as,check out the safety and financial records that are a matter of public record, on other institutions, we do need to understand that sometimes our money is not safe.

We need to both educate ourselves ,as well as, understand that everyone even those that others call a good Christian person is not always an honest or moral person. We are no less responsible than if we turn over our money to a family member who is a drug or alcohol addict and we know they will spend it on drugs or alcohol. Just because they attend our Church does not mean they have our best interests at heart. Too often we blame the banks when it is our own lack of knowledge as well as those closest to us that we should evaluate closer.

We can’t live our lives in paranoia so we need to do the next best thing and that is use our own common sense and learn to protect that which is ours. If we do not check out their credentials or make certain our money is guaranteed safe or protected, then we do need to take responsibility when it is lost. The stock market is no better of a bet, sometimes, than a slot machine in many cases. When we decide to take the risk to earn more we are doing just that,”We are taking a risk,”The good news is Americans are paying off personal debt at a higher rate than ever. Have a good day folks and understand a smile goes much further than gossip towards making us all feel better.
(Please note: I repeated myself in several places so that it does stick in our minds)

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Water Seeks It’s Own Level

When our neighbors,friends,loved ones and if we are truly human, enemies, lose a child through death, it is always hard for us who have compassion and empathy to watch what we all think we know, the extent they must be suffering.

When that child is taken through murder, it is even that much harder, we too often speculate. Christians can reason that a child is not our’s to own and to keep and that God has chosen a special child to take early into Heaven, when they are taken early by accident or disease,sometimes after the shock. When a child is killed at the hands of a man or a woman,regardless of their age,how can we explain it other than pure evil? This is a subject that I have no right to speak on as I have never had to suffer in this way. Those who have, know far better than I or any of us, and I am the first to acknowledge that. It does us all well to just listen.

The subject that I want to cover today are those who join together through their Church community or any Community and put up their homes and assets to pay the bond that bails out the murderers or rapists, so these innocent parents and families, who have lost so much have to see the person, not to mention live their fear, of having to mingle with them back in their communities. As Voltaire is quoted of saying,”True madness” is to have erroneus perceptions and to reason correctly from them.

I do want to describe to all of us just how charming,loving and charismatic the Narcissists,anti-social, and all those who suffer from a variety of personality disorders that leaves them void of a conscience,pretenses really are like, to the outside world or the general public.As I have already said, in another post,at least one of these disorders are present in all murderers and serial rapists. We can not seperate them from all of us, many times, in whom we are looking at or hearing.

It is the person who lives under the roof, with these pretenders, who will see a far different person from what the rest of us see.Their family members, who do not lose touch with reality or become brain washed by them, too many times will know that they are conning the rest of us.Sadly, many times these members are being manipulated and bullied by the threats of harm to their loved ones with both physical and verbal abuse. There will always be those who do see the true nature of these people, as rage is center focus of all of them even though some can keep their rage suppressed for a while, but few will accept our interpretation of them and entire communities will some times turn against the person or people who do recognize their true nature, in favor of protecting the perpetrators.

The loved ones of the predator are in a constant state of fear, so they will seldom speak out, even when they are aware that they are preying on others. The criminal justifies their thinking in believing, as they all claim and can be very convincing in doing so, they are the victims, but instead are the victimizers.

Too many people have too many assumptions of what murderers and serial rapists look like and act like.All races and both genders commit all crimes regardless of Church affiliations or not. They look just like us, and in many cases, look much better, as in some, their appearance means far more to them than it does to most of us. Murderers are both men and women. The white race far out-ranks all the races in number of crimes, in America, and that includes both murder and serial rape. They come from “all walks of life” as well as levels of education and income. Incest is always rape and to accuse a child is no different from to accuse any victim of a crime against them.

Most of us do not need to be particularly charming nor try to convince others how loving we are. People who are compassionate and empathetic will simply be themselves and offer where and when they can. Many times they are the anonymous amongst us. They do not have to be center of attention nor particularly noticed. They go about their day-to-day activities in their home and community taking care of what needs to be done, without needing to be praised, while doing it out of love or concern for others.

Not the person who is prone to crime, unless their crime entails that they remain in the shadows, in order to be successful. Many men will claim Navy Seals,CIA, or Special Forces affiliations or experience. They have a real need to appear to be brave and heroic. Women will many times claim to be survivors of anything from the worse abuse to cancer and often will use tears to gain our sympathy. Where ever they go, many times, there is a great deal of drama that follows them. Both are chronic liars. They have a strong need to be the center of attention. Many have the best and need to talk about how much they spent for it.Since their image of grandeur in themselves is so great many are in debt to their ears or constantly being bailed out of financial messes by those foolish enough to do so. They are always popular, but have no real feelings for anyone but themselves and how they look or how life affects them. They only use generosity and show us kindness in order to obligate people to them and to feed their own grandiose image of themselves.

They are very manipulative in that many times ,when they appear to be doing the work, more times than not, someone who they can manipulate is doing it for them, while they take the credit of out working all of us. Often, they are leaving their children elsewhere and shirking their own responsibility, so they can run a committee, teach Bible Study, or play the organ and help the ministers or often times are the Church Leaders themselves.Other times they are the handy-men or the neighbor lady that we all depend on in our own neighborhoods. Too many people are assuming that these people could never hurt anyone, and when we do we are set up to being taken advantage of, on a regular basis. It does us all well to remember that while we are real, they are on a stage, winning an Oscar, for their play acting.

At the same time they can be the opposite of that and be very shy and what some would call “mousey” but always eager to take over or to lend a hand.Their emotions can be very stilted or stoic and many will admire how strong or brave they are facing trauma.A crowd is always important to them in order to convince most of their innocence and their kindness. Many of these people will need to be close to the money or the recognition in order to fool others into believing they are a “Saint.”They need to have control and have periods where they have the energy of three of us. Not all are abusive in their own homes but the pretense of being timid that some will show the outside world is not a part of their personality behind closed doors. Too many times we will over-look that they have a tendency to be less than honest by telling ourselves that we must have just misunderstood.

Make no mistakes, regardless of what any or all of us see in them the minute that the criminal element feel threatened or we no longer serve their purpose, we all will become murder victims. Too many people think the majority of crimes are caused in dark or back allies but the majority of them happen close to home. In cases where they can relieve their debt through collecting life insurance on us, we no longer serve a purpose for them in being alive. When there is danger of the greedy having to split up assets or the risk of losing child custody, an affair exists, or an imminent separation or divorce these predators are equally dangerous. No matter how much they profess or try to convince us or others of their concern or love for us, they are very intent with getting what they want or need from us. They all are driven with rage and making sure they never get caught. They can be short,tall,extremely handsome,a knock out, over-weight, or average looking, but they are very good at being a con.

Too many in a Church community are reasoning that one of their’s cannot be guilty and in doing so, adding to the pain of the true victims. I know your concern is in “How could we have allowed someone so evil to gain so much control and have such influence on us?” People of all degree of morality often do co-exist amongst, all of us, but we do not add to our own grace by harboring a murderer/rapist/abuser amongst us.We are not programmed to review other people’s conscience or to sit in judgement of their actions. We are programmed into morally doing what we think is right over wrong.As a result, none of us are going to catch every con that enters our circle but to protect them only adds to our own corruption.

The reason we all should go with our own common sense and none of us should ever think that life is always, “black and white”, or judge others is that these same personalities can co-exist in people who do need medical or professional help and our concern.The great majority of people exhibiting some of these same behaviors are simply immature or suffering from mental illness that can be treated or cured, if we get it at an early enough of an age. At any age both they and their loved ones can receive a great deal of benefit from treatment.

They are no more a threat to society than any of the rest of us, unless they are left untreated, and then they can become a threat to both themselves or others. Most of them will get the attention of law enforcement as a result of drug or alcohol abuse and they are often extremely difficult for families to try to deal with alone. They need professional help. Many times the above behavior is very real and part of a compassionate person who only does want to help. If we turn our backs on them when they are being victimized by others, who would take advantage of them, then we must be ready to acknowledge what role if any we need to understand, is ours’ to take. Have we gotten so full of ourselves that we have lost appreciation for the fact that all adults are responsible for their own behavior or so complacent that we think no one needs our help?

It is so hypocritical to aid and abet a murderer/abuser simply because we are afraid of what our Church Community,family, or neighborhood will look like or what others may think. The reputation of any community is likely going to be more hurt than helped when we do this. People would not be human, in any community, if their hearts,efforts,commitments, and reaching out did not go to the victim over those who protect the perpetrator instead.

The truth is,without all sides of the picture or story, do any of us who are not involved, really know who is the victim or the aggressor when we are speaking about adults? Can any of us ever believe that we ourselves would raise a child who grew up to kill or abuse others? It is extremely rare when a parent will acknowledge their child is guilty of such a crime even when the facts are staring them in the face. We all do know one thing for certain, and that is the functional and rational parents or family who lose a loved one or have a member who is scarred for life, are rarely wrong, when assessing a history of behavior. How long will we aid and abet denial and bad behavior before we do recognize our own damage towards supporting it?

When we speak for someone else, simply out of community regard, what we clearly are doing, is speaking out of friendship, more times than not, for another. It does us all well to understand what the weight and responsibility of those words and actions carry on the true victims.

We do need to know and understand the moral depth of our own word and actions, and to what extent others can con us into hurting those we would never dream of adding more pain to.None of us can afford to be led blindly by anyone, without assessing a certain amount of forgiveness to ourselves or others, when we or they do allow it to happen, as guilt always does come naturally for those of us who do have a conscience, when we or they do regain our or their vision or memory of fact.

The error lies in not learning from the mistake and taking responsibility for it when we do.We need to correct our own behavior or responses while changing the direction in ourselves,as how we deal with the problem in the future. Once we understand our own role in adding to another’s pain or hurt,we need to make the changes in ourselves, by resolving to never repeat the same behavior, as well as, make compensation to the injured. Trying to stop it through denial just adds insult to injury.We all would do well to remember or to ask ourselves,” just what is our own value, to ourselves, as well as to mankind?”

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Shame–The Equalizer-The Destroyer

Part 3 on the series of 5 posts

“What makes the pain we feel
from shame and jealousy so
cutting is that vanity can
give us no assistance in
bearing them”
(Francois de la Rochefoucald)

Shame is the very emotion that stops the great majority of us from being immoral and helps develope the conscience of the common man, at the same time it has been and always will be the most destructive of emotions.

Mankind is born to tell the truth. It is shame that prevents us from lying or acting out immorally. True we all lie on some basis or the other. Who hasn’t said when the phone rings,”tell them I am not here,” or “that looks lovely on you,” or in many cases when someone ask us if they have caught us napping, we will deny it?

What the great majority of us do not do is lie or act out in order to destroy the good name or reputations of others or to cheat them out of what is rightfully theirs’, unless we are willing to bear the shame, which most of us are not. Narcissists,psychopaths and sociopaths do not have a conscience that was formed out of empathy for anyone else other than themselves.We need to understand that people who suffer from these disorders are not all criminals but in some cases our parents or neighbors.

On the otherhand, all rapists and murderers do have these disorders. As badly as many of us want to think their conscience will not let them rest, they do not suffer the pain of their destructive behavior like the rest of us. If they are captured and imprisoned then they will suffer the pain of their own victimization because they are innocent in their mind, and not because they threatened our lively hood or loved ones. The only person that they truly care for or about, is themselves.

When they cannot control or manipulate others, then they feel threatened. They often times delight in the fact that their crime has gotten the attention of the media and press, and they have fullfilled a dream by becoming infamous. For the rest of Society,however, the shame we feel in the mistakes that we make is usually the reason we do learn from our errors or mistakes and work towards not repeating them again. Those without a conscience never learn because they never feel shame or suffer guilt.

As a Society, we have over the years, made women and their behavior the brunt of shame and guilt, due to our society having been established on Puritan beliefs.The Judeo-Christian World demands that women remain chaste or suffer the consequences. What was once the greatest shame a woman could bring on her family has now become realistic and more acceptable for mankind to acknowledge and to accept. We no longer lie to ourselves in acknowledging that a certain sector of women will become pregnant without the benefit of marriage.

A child’s success or failure, sadly though, is still based on the principle of the fact that the father was missing from the home much quicker than it is to believe that mothers can be and are, horrific monsters, to their children when they suffer from the above untreated disorders. Because we are so convinced of the virginal aspect of women still In America, in the same amount of time that we put to death 25 children we only executed 7 women.

Since women still raise the majority of children in America, we refuse to believe that there are women who sometimes will love one of their children while mistreating the others, and other times only tolerates children, or are indifferent to children. Some mothers even claim to despise their children and tell them, “they are sorry they were ever born.” or “Afraid they would go to Hell if they had an abortion,” and yet we refuse to believe that mothers can create the total evil seen in some children, today.

As we are learning more about head injuries and the brain we are becoming more aware as to what causes some to become criminals while the great majority of us could never bear the shame or even the idea or guilt of treating another human being so grievously. We are learning that injury to the frontal lobe while children, is often the cause of the loss of cognitive thought and seen typically in serial killers regardless of gender.

Ultimately, as knowledge enlightens ignorance then shame and guilt also becomes less and we become a more accepting and caring civilized World. Sadly though there will always be those who want to struggle against the concept of Science and ban education in order to cling to shame and guilt.

If we no longer believe in the anger and punishment of mankind by a vengeful God and instead accept a loving and forgiving God, or replace the influence on us by Satan with brain disorders, then Religion itself becomes threatened with extinction. It does us all well to know that there is plenty of need for Religion and Science to co-exist. Sadly, it is the need of the ego and the thirst for power of the Religious and Conservative Right, that is making those who refuse to see that truth, the danger that they are.

When we know and accept every crime in America ever committed began and ended with a lie,and that the lies are becoming so powerful as to destroy our Democracy, then we will also understand the need for Religion and Science to co-exist for the betterment of mankind and freedom. Shaming mankind from childhood to adulthood may have both good and bad tied to it but when it becomes over-balanced in a Society as it has today, we destroy ourselves.

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The Most Tragic Lie Ever Spread In America

Part 1 of the series of 5 posts

In keeping with the Republican idea of, “Getting Tough On Crime”,in America,the lie was started and spread by the media between 1994 and 2001, that juvenile crime was escalating and would increase at astronomical rates. The person responsible even made and spread a new term, called,”The Super predator amongst our juvenile population.”

The truth was that juvenile crime had actually dropped by 40% during this time. That did not stop John J. Diulio, who served as the director of the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initatives to both start and predict that 270,000 fatherless,Godless, and jobless juvenile superpredators(his terminology) would be flooding the American streets.

We have never yet reached the rate of crime, that we had as a Nation in the 1920′s, and the truth is between 1994 and 2001,there had been a steady decrease in juvenile crime since the 1970′s. However if a candidate is going to run on a platform of, “tough on crime.” then some one better invent the lie that juvenile crime is spinning out of control and spread it quickly, if they want their Republican candidate to win the election on that platform.

The evidence of an increase in juvenile crime rate then, or in the near future, was no more factual than the discovery of the Loch Ness Monster. That did not stop the general attitude or perception in America,to come up with the idea, “to kill the little bastards” would be the best law to safeguard us all, unfortunately. To make juveniles punishable for crimes in adult prison systems, would be the most favorable of law, in the minds of the right wing and the mind of the majority of Americans,sadly. It was so moved and became law, across America. When we realize that the human brain is not even capable of knowing or understanding the full imput of risk taking or fully formed until the age of 21, then in my estimation, that lie has become the most tragic lie of all, in America.

Even though America was part of the International Law group that forbid sending children to the gas chamber,or subjecting them to killing by lethal injection, the United States would sign and ratify the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, but would reserve the right to allow children under 18 to be put to death in 1992. The only other Countries that would allow this were Pakistan, Saudi Arabia,Iran, and Yemen.

As the voice of the Christians rose against abortions and in favor of Pro-Life for the embryo, the same voices rose in favor of being, “Tough on Crime”, even if it meant killing children who grew up in the most abusive of homes without guidance of any kind. Because the perception of the American people were being convinced that crime was on a runaway path, more children in America would be put to death than in all 4 of the above countries combined. 20 States still uphold death by execution for children while children await their executions on Death Row. More Conservative judges were appointed to make certain the punishment was tough on crime instead of treating kids in a rehab center for the drug addictions that help drive their crime.

If we treated drug use and alcohol consumption in youth in America as the disease that it is, we could spare the lives of the people that they kill as well as their own, and many would never have to die, in many of these cases. We must treat addiction in our youth as the illness that it is with the crime being charged against the adults who expose them to such, while they are under age. Adults may choose to be alcoholics and drug addicts but children often do not have the capacity to make a cognitive,informed, or intelligent choice. They are way too concerned about what their friends will think of them than they are able to understand the consequences or effects of their decisions. When we hear of 9 and 11 year olds being forced into prostitution and drugs, then an adult should be held responsible. Drugs and alcohol on the under-developed brain is certain to end up as an explosive in our Society, if left untreated.

Children, are in a large percentage,introduced to both drugs and alcohol in their own home. When they use it under peer influence, then we can almost bet that the pusher had their first “drunk” or “fix” under the lack of care of their parents or another adult. Juvenile crime would drop even further if parents were made to be responsible for or lock up their booze,drugs and guns or at the very least, pay a fine, if an under age child was found inebriated or with a gun or knife.I do not suggest that anyone evade our privacy in our own homes, but an adult needs to be charged while the child receives treatment, in my estimation. If we can make wearing seat belts a law for the good of our own safety can’t we enforce the law that is already on the books? Without anyone screaming Unconstitutional, the law called, “Reckless endangerment of a minor by an adult” only needs to be enforced. Putting children to death is never an answer to justice.

Children are victims in America, like all other Countries.Children are the innocent amongst us and the most vulnerable of all. They are starved to death, abused,neglected,raped and subjected to the most horrific of crimes. To know As Americans, with the best Democracy in the World, we the American people believed such a lie,spread against our Nation’s children, in order for the Republican Party to adopt a platform of “Get tough on Crime”, should be heart breaking to us all.

Yes some of the most horrific crimes in America, or anywhere else in the World, have been committed by children. Many of these children, in many cases, are made monsters in their own homes, and are totally in a rage due to the victimization that their own parents or society have done to them, or the victims that we make them become in some orphanages that are not fit to be a dog kennel, or foster care homes where the goal is to gain the check and forget the child.

As we watch today’s Republicans with their special interests propaganda, that has nothing to do with representing Democracy or “we the people,” who elect them, be it for eliminating equal rights through abortion, or protecting Drug and Insurance Companies against any form of healthcare that will help lower the cost of healthcare for the American people, or the Republicans and Tea Party out to protect the oil Companies revenue or right to drill on government land, it would do us all well to remember just how easy it is to start and spread a lie.

When those lies are started and spread by Faith-Based or Special Interests Groups of any kind, and two thirds of the radio stations are owned by Christian Broadcasting networks who have historically fired up people like Rush Limbaugh,Glen Beck or Robinson,combined by all the “Special Interests” dollars being spent on so called Patriot Groups, then we all have reasons to be more than concern. The fact that the lie on Crime was being spread in America and no credible network ever said anything about it being a lie,at the time, should tell all of us, how quickly Democracy can end. Re-elect Barack OBama in 2012.

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When Religion Controls Elections

We have all lived and felt what happens when we take the checks and balances off of any sector of Democracy. We end up with the tragedies, we now have. A Baptist Church on the hate crime list. Sarah Palin claiming the picture of, Our President of the United States, dressed in Taliban clothing on her favorites list on her Tweeter page was an accident and saying “Oops it was a mistake”. Rush Limbaugh and Michelle Bachmann claiming that OBama is spending 20 million dollars a day, when in truth, he is going to visit India to drum up trade for the aero-industry for jobs here in America. It is nothing more than spread of both hate and lies. If that wasn’t bad enough they even claim 34 warships,approximately 20% of our Navy,at a cost of 2 Billion dollars, will be on alert to protect him. No one is left to stop the lies and hate that go unchecked when Religion goes unchecked and controls power.

Greed in both the politician and Wall Street runs rampant when we take the checks and balances off both Corporate and Capitalism and we end up with not only hate and lies being condoned and in some cases paid for. Win at all cost to the spirit of Democracy, becomes the battle cry. The Churches are and can claim they are under-attack by the liberals or everyone that is not with them, are the result of the spread of Atheism. God for bid, if those Christians amongst us, should stand up against the spread of hate and lies and the organizations or groups responsible for the same, in an effort to bring back equality and respect to the name of Religion. We have the worse of humanity controlling American Democracy, when Religion gains power, and uses it against whole sectors of people.

If the Churches,namely the Catholic priest had been sent to prison, where all pedophiles belong, we would have put some form of check and balances on the Church. Instead we Americans simply chose to ignore it, at an expense to 1000 plus fellow citizens whose lives have been destroyed. Will the same happen to Reverend Long or will we just insist he is innocent as well and pay off the young boys or call them liars as well, because the rapists are Church leaders and are considered God’s Representatives, and as such can do no wrong? I assure all of us that greed,lies, and rape of the innocent, by the very people and institutions that should be protecting and protesting the loudest, is not the work of God.

Instead we allow it all to go unchecked and send the message,ourselves, that Religion is above the law. Religion Doctrine has not been able to work with Religion, much less will it protect Democracy. The different beliefs and Doctrines, as well as the struggle for supremacy in the Churches, has always divided the Religious Community with hate. It is doing the same with our politics and therefore our Democracy. What the heroes amongst us have shed blood for, has not been or will ever be, for the privilege of the powerful to threaten,hurt,bully,intimidate and use fear tactics on the truth and innocent while protecting the hate and lies that it refuses to stop from spreading,while denying or paying off the victims with cash instead of justice.

Religion is and has been at the center of the battles in the Middle East since 76AD. It is and has always been the job of Religion to serve mankind just as it is the job of government to do the same. Instead mankind serves both when Religion controls elections. We need to remind both who is in charge. Sadly Tuesday’s election was just more of the same old crap, “Of lie to them.Tell them we will cut the budget but don’t answer how or where when asked.” Neither Religion or Government are doing their jobs, nor are we.

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“Its The Way We Roll”

A while back when I asked my 5-year-old grandchild why he liked to put so much cinnamon on his oatmeal, he replied, “It’s the way I roll, grandma.” We often find young children comfortable with being who they are and it is only as they age that they start changing their own personality to conform into the thinking or the lifestyle of others. We are all born with a creative side to us and those that are encouraged to express that side often times will be the great artists amongst us. So often many of us do grow up to put more emphasis on becoming the person that we think others want us to become instead of remaining the person that we are meant to be.

It is when we lose sight of what makes us strong as a human and the talents that we possess that we often fall into the trap that others set for us. “Misery loves company” proves itself out long before we reach the knowledge of what effect that misery does have on our own persona. The more negative the people are that we hang with the more likely we will become just as negative. The only way most of us can go back to enjoying life again, as we did when we did have the courage to believe in ourselves, is to detach ourselves from those that do want to make misery their companion.

Although I noticed early on in life that when children start acting out it is usually as a result of wanting to be the center of attention, it took me much longer to recognize that people who are miserable actually get off on misery. In some ways when children are feeling neglected or are confused as to where they fit into the family, they will act out and start talking back. Often times the eldest child will become the confidant of the adults and no longer know if he or she is now an adult or a child. Too often we parents will share adult problems with children that should still be involved with play. Many times when a child does act out they will find that, “the squeaky wheel gets the most attention” and as long as they are getting attention they do not much care if it is positive or negative as long as the parents are focusing on them.

This is the same principle that adults use when it comes to constant complaints. The person capable of taking care of their own needs and does not borrow from our time or attention often times goes ignored and gets set to the side. I asked my cousin who taught Psychology at the University and had years into private practice if he thought there were people who did use misery in order to be happy or at peace.

At the time I was worn down by two people in my life that I foolishly thought at one time I might be able to help, but was realizing that they were draining me of my energy with their hard luck stories and it was taking a toll on my own health. My cousin, the Doctor, was quick to answer, “Oh sure there are people who are happy being miserable” When I recognize them I always refer them out to another psychologist that will take the time to listen to them as that is all they really want, is to be heard and the focal point.” He then added that he got into Psychiatry in order to help people understand or change their lives in order to live a more satisfactory life and so often people who enjoy being miserable are already getting what they want, and do not want help to change, so he referred them to Dr.s more interested in gaining revenue.(Please note: people with severe mental illness who are incapable of understanding reality or living it do not fit this pattern)

I found, that if I refused to answer the phone as I was busy, that the two people in my life at the time, would deliberately call and call and wait until I finally would give in and answer the phone and would then hang up on me. It gave them the sick idea that if I would no longer listen to their constant complaints nor allow them to manipulate me, then they would show me what it felt like by hanging up on me. Never mind the fact that I could care less as I wasn’t in the habit of complaining to them nor was I asking anything of them anyway. I do have to admit that the constant calling was irritating at the time.

By their own immature actions it actually relieved me of all guilt or need to feel responsible to either of them again. Prior to this I would even save and sacrifice my own financial lifestyle in order to pay their expenses or take them somewhere to try to lighten their moods. I was being manipulated to the point that I was losing touch of my own priorities and doing for one of the families what I needed to be doing for my own.

Once I realized that misery was the level that they all drew to, to try to out miserable each other with who had life worse or to gain sympathy in order to use others, it was then my option to gain control of me again.

I still do acts of random kindness for one of them, because of her place in my life, but it is on my time frame and my availability to do so. I find great peace of mind in the idea of leaving the others to enjoy their misery. I am back to being the person that I had lost and loving every minute of it! When we realize as great of a friend as we are to others is the same friend we can be to ourselves, we learn to be grateful and appreciate our own lives that much more from having had the experience.

This is the best way, that I have of explaining to anyone, why it is that we can many times make our own lives as simple as or as complicated as we want to make them. How about you–Do you have any “misery seeking company” in your lives? Usually these people do start out needing our help and sympathy but many times they will become comfortable in the role and unless we learn to back off they will never seek out their own happiness by letting go of their misery. Lets face it, they are getting more attention,gifts,excuses, entitlement, and praise through sympathy than they ever got through being responsible because we are guaranteeing that they do.

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Bishop Long: Its What You’re Not Saying

If you read my previous post and watched CNN this morning on their coverage of Bishop Long then you know what I have said about those who support abuse rang true. When Bishop Long got up and removed his glasses and read from the paper he put himself in the part of David against Goliath while proclaiming he has never said he was perfect but he was going to fight the accusations.

Lets dissect that for a minute. Number one he has the backing of the Baptist establishment who has more money than God. Therefor he is Goliath and certainly He is no David. Number two he never said the reports were wrong. Number three he never said the accusations are unfair and he is innocent. Wouldn’t we all be screaming from the mountain tops regardless of what a lawyer told us to say if we were truly innocent as well as religious?

The crowd stood and cheered him. Immediate assumption that he is innocent and no mercy for the victims. The victims, by the way, are the real David. It would be easier to take on Washington than the Baptist Church. For those of you who haven’t read my previous posts, the Churches have more protection against ever doing time for a crime than anyone else in America as they just have to yell intrusion on religious freedom.

At this point none of us do know who is telling the truth and who isn’t. Bishop Long did an insulting news conference in which he bragged about the accomplishments of his Church and totally ignored the accusations against him. If the scandal case follows norm the following will happen. Some energetic and ambitious young reporter will probably check into just how much the Newburgh Church has contributed and if his supporters find it less than they were told then the whole perspective of the case will change. Bishop Long’s Trainers need to tell him about how far, respect and consideration for the public’s right to know, will spare their client’s credibility.

To date this is what we do know. Men even when sexual abuse takes place are extremely slow to come forward and to acknowledge it. We know less than half of all women report molestation and rape and the numbers drop substantially for men when reporting either. If one man came forward we could ask ourselves about the validity. In most cases a lawyer would not even take the case. Two coming forward would give some credibility to it as to have two report it would really be extremely unusual if it did not happen, as it is such a taboo subject for men to begin with. Four coming forward has to make us all wonder about the Bishop.

Truly we should not be standing up and cheering this person regardless of who he is. These statistics against him alone are alarming as they just do not happen when a person is innocent. As a matter of fact, it has never happened in the history of our Nation. Accusations like this do not happen, even when the Churches declare they are enemies of the Churches, there is always some truth proven out in the accusations. It is the pattern of history regardless of the religion.The day care case that we are all aware of was coercion of children and not adults. Adults coming forward to report it happened when they were children is another and far different case, period.

Prior to this, we heard from the lawyer, that he was acting as spokes person because at this time there could be more involved and they were concerned about the lawsuits and the costs of it all to the Church. I ask all of you–have we all gotten so desensitized that the main concern of religion is now concern of costs over the concern for or of the victims?

Where have any of us that call ourselves Christians, ever heard that Christ was concern first and foremost, for the monetary values over concern for the victims? Did anyone of the faithful stop to consider the possibility of the harm to the victims if they are telling the truth? Why would anyone put themselves through this if it was not true? Even their safety, not to mention their families’, are bound to be jeopardized if it is not true. One person may have a grudge to bare or be enticed by money, but four? Where is the common sense?

Shouldn’t someone in the church somewhere be reaching out and offering hope and help to the possibility, at least, that there may be victims? Are we so lacking of compassion, as Christians, that we care more about the money that we contribute or the charisma of a man who professes to be a sinner, than we do about the truth? One thing we can all agree on is, to date, we have heard nothing about what is the truth and what isn’t from Bishop Long.

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The Heartache of Abuse: People Who Protect

Abuse of an innocent child, woman, or minority is difficult enough to deal with but it is magnified ten times by the people who protect the abusers. The question is why do people find it necessary to protect abusers and what is behind their drive to do so?

Those of us that have experienced abuse may be in time able to rationalize the sickness that drove these people to abuse but to find that they are protected and we are called liars is where the pain of abuse becomes totally unjust. Many of us that have confronted the abusers only end up to find that the cop that has a long history of abuse in the Department,is protected and found innocent by internal affairs; the child reports the father or grandfather and the mother calls them a liar and leaves them alone with Dad or Grandpa to continue the abuse; the child reports the school official and their peers mock and bully them; the child reports their minister or priest and their parents call them liars while the Bishops send them elsewhere to offend again.

We are talking about millions of lives that get destroyed by the true liars amongst us who are not just the abusers but the people who deny the abuse happened or know it happened, and lie about it. When an abuser is protected then neither the abuser or the abused get the help that will ultimately help heal the pain of the offense.

What drives these people who protect the abusers if it is not some selfish or mean spirited reason on their part? Be it reputation of the family, police department, school, or Church or some other sinister reason of money,power or position gained or lost? Reality should tell us that there is no real reason that abusers should be protected that we can morally justify.

Unfortunately, the people who could have helped and saved a child, woman, or minority will never be contacted and instead the victim will many times turn to alcohol, drugs, prostitution, or other destructive means that include making poor spouses as well as choices because they become workaholics or spendaholics or victims of other abusers. Ultimately the victims will go to one relationship after another to only find the approval or support that they should have gotten from the people responsible to protect them.

Not only do these people protect the abuser and call the abused liars many times they will complain about the victims attitudes or report them as cranks, hysterical,enemies of justice, evil, or ban them from the family, school, or Church. No one can be expected to heal appropriately unless the abusers admit and ask for forgiveness of their role in the abuse and that rarely happens as long as the abusers’ protectors are supporting the abuser. If you are currently protecting an abuser or have protected them for years then know the consequences of the abuse will ultimately be paid for by you.

The truth will not be denied, trampled on or buried. Truth does win out and the victim many times becomes the prosecutor. Much truth comes from the old cliché’, “What goes around comes around.” The sad thing is, many times the victims are as eager to forgive the abuser as the abuser is to apologize, but the protectors of the abusers render it impossible to ever happen as many times the protectors belittle the victim further by convincing the abuser that they are the innocent ones. As I have said before, “If we want justice then we must first give justice.”

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