The Risk Within

I have written many posts, at this point, on taking responsibility. My intention is to express to all, what we often find as fault or blame in others, can actually be as a result of a short coming, within ourselves.

I do not blame the victims or believe that anyone who is being mistreated should ever feel it is their fault. I simply want people to question,themselves, why they do tolerate such behavior and to find what changes they can make,to improve their own lives. Too often we never do ask ourselves what it is we can do or need to do, to improve our own lives. It is always easier to blame others than it is to look for or find solutions for ourselves.

As difficult as it is to accept,for some, the truth is that too many times we do become no different from robots, who go about our daily lives never questioning those who are controlling us or ourselves, if we have a strong urgency to control others, who do fine, without our need to control. We can become apathetic,indifferent,a bully, or too complacent or trusting with the people and power of the World that goes on around us, just as we can with ourselves.

If we simply follow routine, that we have slipped into and take programming from others in our lives, we can often wake up to discover, when the relationship ends, that we have taken too many people in our lives for granted or accepted too poor of a treatment,for ourselves.

As long as we insist that we do not care for politics or feel a need to vote, because we incorrectly think both parties are just alike,or we give our vote to another, without thought, we can often end up to discover the party that protects oil companies and big business is the same that allows Democracy to erode. We must always remember, for instance, that oil companies will and do control the politics of States where oil is King, such as Wyoming,Oklahoma and Texas.No different than what tourism is to Disneyland or Disney World.

If our daily life, ends up with our free time being limited by other’s recommendations or dedicated to the inter-net, some television and radio broadcasts that are not concerned with the truth or the news, but instead report slanted views, and we believe the lies that are often spread through the social media and paid ads, we can too often, end up believing lies over truth, not to mention, without having an original thought of our own.

Without educating ourselves, to the reality and truth over perceptions, the knowledge of which party or candidate will do the best job for us and the middle class,will be lost in ignorance or lies, when we do go to the polls and vote. When this happens it is sometimes ourselves, who are the most ill-equipped to vote,not to mention the most dangerous to Democracy.

It is easy to get caught up in our day-to-day habits and routine, to the point that we become lost to ourselves or perform as robots,never questioning the reality of what we are doing or hearing. The longer we do it the more accepting we become of things that do not make sense, when questioned.

It is not something that we are always aware of, in fact most of us do not even have a clue, until we do have trauma take place in our lives, and it forces us into acknowledging what we have accepted as truth, without questioning, a great deal of the time was merely perception, and does not even come close to being the truth.A for instance of that is, we commonly think modern medicine can cure anything until we get seriously ill, and the great majority of us are surprised at how little medicine does know about cause much less cure. Too many times, our own survival will depend on us being more honest and realistic, when dealing with our own lives.

We cannot blame those who we turned over control of our lives to, simply because we were taking comfort in our own lifestyle or stressing over what had very little real significance,in comparison to where our priorities needed to be, in our own lives, much less in the Democracy of America. We need to remain alert to both past and present history, both in ourselves and our own behavior, as well as in the world, that goes on around us.

I doubt, many of us would or could argue, that if we showed as little interests in our jobs or our families, who we have been Blessed with to guide, as we do in the maintenance of Democracy, we would not be at our current job or a reputable member of our family, for long.

Just as we need to stay on our toes, when it comes to the needs of our friends and family, we also need to be aware of how our own behavior affects those we profess to love, as well as, what happens in the World around us. When we fail to keep up with ourselves and our own needs and behavior, we often fail to keep up with the needs of those around us, as well.

We need to be comfortable in the knowledge, we gain, that our own vote just as our own behavior, can and will safeguard the equality as well as the quality of life for all of us, who do embrace freedom. If we fail to appreciate that those we love the most, ourselves included, can be a statistic tomorrow, we often risk the fact that we will deny our own freedom, when others start talking about changing the Constitution to deny others their rights.

It is too easy to think that as long as we are not complaining then those that we love do not have complaints either. If we are busy shopping and hiding the receipts from our spouses, we fail to realize the short high, that we receive, is often the long misery that they receive, when it comes to balancing the budget.

When we constantly sacrifice while our spouse spends or does nothing but argue with us or dismiss our efforts, we are not so content either.Just as we cannot continue to elect politicians who refuse to do anything for the American people, because the other Party may win. We can too many times go back to the fox guarding the hen-house when we refuse to educate ourselves, both in the future needs of our families as well as our Country.

When we all develop the attitude that we, each, are much more than a robot and the risk of both our family as well as American’s Democracy rests on the shoulders of individuals, we will prove we are all reliable to the rest of the World.We owe all those, who look to us for freedom, the responsibility of maintaining Democracy, by putting as much effort into, “Freedom for All”, as we do into our own families.

It needs to be both our goal as well as our priority to know the differences between each candidate and party,including the Tea Party, before we vote. Democracy as well as the survival of our government,of “We the People,” in America and around the World, depends on it.

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Republican Hypocrisy Continues

For those of you who are not aware of it, as the Republicans yammer over not raising the debt ceiling while accusing Barack OBama of putting America in debt, they are criticizing Ben Nelson of Nebraska for voting 6 times to raise the debt ceiling, while they campaign against him, even though it was done during the Bush Administration.

As I have said, many times, not all people should be elected or re-elected strictly on the party preferences of past family members. Right wing politics along with so called Patriot groups have ruined members in both parties with their heavy handedness.

Ben Nelson voted with the Bush Republicans, and bragged in the State about it while doing so, on a straight Republican ticket and always against the Democrat Party even though he is a registered Democrat. The Republicans themselves voted to raise the debt limits 6 times.

They were all the best of political buddies as Democracy continued losing. Ben Nelson also shows a voting record that supports the Catholic Church’ views, despite separation of Church and State being the Constitution law of the Land. All United States Senators and Congressmen and women take oaths to uphold the Constitutional Laws of the land seperate from their own personal religious views. The Constitution clearly states that NO religion shall interfere in the distribution of law or order or of government duty in America.

He voted against healthcare reform of his own party. He could not get enough of the photo opps and exposure showing himself voting along with George Bush while he was in office. Ben Nelson with his arm around George Bush and bragging about voting with him in the State of Nebraska became the focus of all of his re-election campaigns.

He also lives in a State that has only voted for a Democrat for President once in it’s entire history. To now accuse Ben Nelson of Nebraska for voting for those 6 ceiling lifts, which the Republicans themselves did as well, in order for the Republican candidate to take the seat in 2012, is like calling a chicken a duck. When it works for the Republicans it clucks but when it works against the Republicans it quacks.

That is why going into any election it is always important to check out the candidates as well as understand how the Parties vote. There are a few right-wing Democrats but the great majority of them are in the Republican Party.

I just think it is just another perfect example of the Republicans using their own behavior and action in order to keep any and all Democrats out of winning elections, that makes “The Grand Old Party” the mess it is in today. They continuously play the American voters for fools with their own hypocritical intentions, and the sad thing is so many voters, let them.

Tell the Republicans and Tea Party candidates, it is time that they work for us in 2012 by electing Democrats who do know and understand compromise, as well as, the will of the people. Unless we all forget, it was the American Voter who did say healthcare reform was our largest concern in 2008.

Almost all reform does begin with baby steps and even though it wasn’t what we hoped for it was a huge step to take with the Republican Party in 100% agreement against any healthcare that did not benefit the Insurance Companies and 30 some Democrats fighting it all the way. Any effort gained is much larger of an effort than what any Republican majority have taken in the past or will in the future, that will aid “We the People’ over Corporate. Re-elect Barack OBama in 2012.

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Doing As We Are Told…..

For all people who are employed, “doing as we are told” is a necessary part of our job and unless we follow orders or requirements of the job, most of us will not last long. Also parents that take their responsibility of being parents seriously, must know and understand, that, “doing as they are told”,is necessary discipline for children in order for them to learn the difference between right and wrong and what their duties in the family and society will entail.

As a member of society we will all have rules that tell us what is acceptable and what isn’t acceptable behavior. Most of us will go to the grave having been told what to do by Doctors,lawyers, and bankers, etc. Long story short, none of us will ever reach a point in a civilized world where we will not be, “doing as we are told”, throughout our lifetime.

One of the more amusing statements to come out of the mouth of teenagers is the statement, “I can’t wait until I get out of here and can do what I want to do.” For most of us we will feel this kind of independence only when and if we have planned and been able to succeed at putting together a nest egg for retirement. Even then most of us will be following, “Doctor’s Orders”.

For all the above reasons then, it is necessary that we parents do allow our children the freedom that they are entitled to make in where they will live,eat and sleep the adult years of their lives. Keeping them home and under our wing will only destroy those early years of enthusiasm that we all have before we have good sense.

Todays’ young adults are putting in more hours of work than any generation before them ever have. It is important that they do what they find to be enjoyable to them. All statistics ever done have always shown that: a happy employee is a good employee; a happy person lives longer; a happy person gives of their time and skills more frequently: a happy person is ultimately what we parents that love our children for themselves, should strive for, as it speaks buckets for our own success rate, as parents.

It is important that we parents understand that not all of our children will be college material but some will excel better and be more successful at and in the trades. Others will do better being educated in technology. Whatever they choose they will need our support and certainly not our criticism.

As we become more enlightened, I think most of us understand that we do not own our children. We simply appreciate the time that we have them in our lives and then we do let them spread their wings to make the choices in life that are theirs’ to make. The old days of giving birth to children so they could work the farm or take care of us in old age is losing weight in many cultures. Although laws have been established for the care of the elderly and the responsiblity to the same by their children, most parents do, “reap what they sow” or if you prefer,”what goes around comes around” from their children as they age. The benefits are many once we both understand that respect goes both ways. No one regrets that they didn’t work harder when they come to the last years of their life but many do regret that they didn’t support each other better, on an emotional level.

We must understand that raising our children also includes teaching our children in our homes about compassion,empathy, and responsibility that goes beyond our own nose or door. This appears to be a complaint coming from the media, even though I find more expressions of love, compassion and understanding than less of it, in the younger generations around me that are not part of the young Conservative movement.

I do find more cynical and apathetical behavior in the older generations than I have in the younger groups and this has been the norm with aging from the beginning of time, I would imagine. We teach best by doing and setting the example ourselves. For years parents got by, or thought they did, with the statements,”because I said so” and “do as I say not as I do.” I doubt the statements ever worked then either, but they definitely fail in today’s enlightenment. Our children will often recognize hypocrisy long before we will if they have been allowed to both think for themselves as well as become responsible for their own needs when the time is appropriate.

When we as a family and society learns that “do as we are told” does not apply to wives taking orders from husbands, adult children who have left our home, taking orders from us, or older siblings giving orders to younger siblings who neither live or work for them, then we will at long last, understand what our forefathers intended for Democracy when they wrote, “Freedom and Justice for all.” The messages that are being carried by the young conservative right movements are anything but that. Vote responsibly.

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When Life Works And Mainly It Does

I’ve written mainly on the problems that exist in life and marriage because we as a Society often times spend entirely too much of our time living in denial or inventing a fantasy land that does not exist.

Men and women are simply different in the way they approach life and how they perceive people. When a woman is complaining many times it is just a mechanism to relieve a stressful day but often men feel they are complaining because they are looking for or asking for a solution to a problem. Because of this difference alone, so many times, problems will erupt in the communication of the couple and it is neither right or wrong or anyone’s fault when it does. It is simply the difference in how men approach life as versus what a woman is reacting to.

I am always amazed to hear women complaining over something in their mate which is nothing more than the man’s simple attempt to show his wife that he hears her and wants to help. I have heard women go on and on about something that is nothing more than a man’s interpretation of how to deal with a situation where as the woman is not looking for a solution but rather complaining for the sake of complaining. I have a difficult time myself, understanding what it is that makes some women happy as versus what she truly is needing. I think all of we women can agree to this ourselves that our sisters can be and are moody if not down right bitchy, but instead we tend to group together and get our feelings hurt because a man does not understand us.

Most marriages work because we do fall into a comfortable routine eventually and accept the differences between the sexes. Men as a whole do not batter their wives and not all women nag their husbands to death. So many couples actually start resembling each other in their appearances and their mannerisms. If we are mature enough to accept the differences in our lives while respecting the need for space in both ourselves as well as our spouse, then marriage can be and is one of the best things that will ever happen in our lives.

We do many times start the marriage out with our lovers and kindred spirits and fall into a life of enjoyment and successes sprinkled with failures with our best friends. As we advance in our years, once we do understand that all marriages sometimes do need breathing room, separate interests, and equal priorities while attaining and reaching our goals together, we will find that we do become almost mirror images of each other internally if not externally. A good marriage makes both of us better people.

Recently I had a friend visit and she said she had spent the last 20 years of her life convinced she hated her husband and was only staying with him because they were at long last building their dream home. Their marriage had started out very rocky with him being abusive until she put her foot down and he quit the bad behavior. As we visited over the period she was here, I noticed she often said ,”That must be a man thing” when my husband and I were talking.

It was, with surprise to me, that before she left, she had diagnosed her own problem through watching our marriage. She announced to me, she felt she could go back and have a friendship with her husband who she thought she had hated for the last 20 years. I was delighted for her and asked what had made the difference.

She said she has been in a rut for years now talking with two of her sisters who were both her best friends and all they do is compare notes on who has the worse husband of the 3. After watching my husband, who is just a big teddy bear, she realized that her husband for the last 20 years had been reaching out to be her friend and it had been her that had read in ulterior motives or was only looking to find fault. She felt if she started talking about what is right in her marriage perhaps she could save it after all. Sometimes solutions in life are just that simple.

People can be highly suggestive or subjective and many times we will see where one friend becomes restless and bored so does the other. This is just as true in men as it is in women. It is not uncommon to see three couples split up following the first couple of the group breaking up. It is not just children who submit to suggestions as well as peer pressure. Marriage rquires maturity and that does not always come with specified numbers or age.

When we watch the program “hoarders” so many of the people acknowledge that they began hoarding when their mothers died. Truly these were people who never learned how to let go, as realistically we all know that our parents as a rule, will die before we will and yet if mothers do not enforce the untying of the apron string or we do not take the initiative to let go emotionally, the grieving becomes more difficult that it should be.

Marriage is about turning to each other and working through our life’s struggles together. If it is not working then perhaps we need to understand that the two of us are not communicating without finding fault and passing blame and get the necessary professional help that we need.

The bad thing about divorce is that we not only give up our future together we also give up our past. So many will remarry the same person that they just divorced without the shared history that made their first marriages wonderful. Just like my friend noted, “she was stuck in a group of negative women” that found their strength on what was wrong instead of what is right. It is not unusual at all to hear couples say they make much better friends than they made lovers when they were married and not even realize that when most couples divorce they also give up their groups that often times led to or influenced the discontent amongst them.

(Please note this does not apply to marriages or relationships that are both abusive or adulterous. In both these cases blame must be shouldered or it will be repeated. The person doing both the abuse or having affairs has already broken the vows)

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Bishop Long: Its What You’re Not Saying

If you read my previous post and watched CNN this morning on their coverage of Bishop Long then you know what I have said about those who support abuse rang true. When Bishop Long got up and removed his glasses and read from the paper he put himself in the part of David against Goliath while proclaiming he has never said he was perfect but he was going to fight the accusations.

Lets dissect that for a minute. Number one he has the backing of the Baptist establishment who has more money than God. Therefor he is Goliath and certainly He is no David. Number two he never said the reports were wrong. Number three he never said the accusations are unfair and he is innocent. Wouldn’t we all be screaming from the mountain tops regardless of what a lawyer told us to say if we were truly innocent as well as religious?

The crowd stood and cheered him. Immediate assumption that he is innocent and no mercy for the victims. The victims, by the way, are the real David. It would be easier to take on Washington than the Baptist Church. For those of you who haven’t read my previous posts, the Churches have more protection against ever doing time for a crime than anyone else in America as they just have to yell intrusion on religious freedom.

At this point none of us do know who is telling the truth and who isn’t. Bishop Long did an insulting news conference in which he bragged about the accomplishments of his Church and totally ignored the accusations against him. If the scandal case follows norm the following will happen. Some energetic and ambitious young reporter will probably check into just how much the Newburgh Church has contributed and if his supporters find it less than they were told then the whole perspective of the case will change. Bishop Long’s Trainers need to tell him about how far, respect and consideration for the public’s right to know, will spare their client’s credibility.

To date this is what we do know. Men even when sexual abuse takes place are extremely slow to come forward and to acknowledge it. We know less than half of all women report molestation and rape and the numbers drop substantially for men when reporting either. If one man came forward we could ask ourselves about the validity. In most cases a lawyer would not even take the case. Two coming forward would give some credibility to it as to have two report it would really be extremely unusual if it did not happen, as it is such a taboo subject for men to begin with. Four coming forward has to make us all wonder about the Bishop.

Truly we should not be standing up and cheering this person regardless of who he is. These statistics against him alone are alarming as they just do not happen when a person is innocent. As a matter of fact, it has never happened in the history of our Nation. Accusations like this do not happen, even when the Churches declare they are enemies of the Churches, there is always some truth proven out in the accusations. It is the pattern of history regardless of the religion.The day care case that we are all aware of was coercion of children and not adults. Adults coming forward to report it happened when they were children is another and far different case, period.

Prior to this, we heard from the lawyer, that he was acting as spokes person because at this time there could be more involved and they were concerned about the lawsuits and the costs of it all to the Church. I ask all of you–have we all gotten so desensitized that the main concern of religion is now concern of costs over the concern for or of the victims?

Where have any of us that call ourselves Christians, ever heard that Christ was concern first and foremost, for the monetary values over concern for the victims? Did anyone of the faithful stop to consider the possibility of the harm to the victims if they are telling the truth? Why would anyone put themselves through this if it was not true? Even their safety, not to mention their families’, are bound to be jeopardized if it is not true. One person may have a grudge to bare or be enticed by money, but four? Where is the common sense?

Shouldn’t someone in the church somewhere be reaching out and offering hope and help to the possibility, at least, that there may be victims? Are we so lacking of compassion, as Christians, that we care more about the money that we contribute or the charisma of a man who professes to be a sinner, than we do about the truth? One thing we can all agree on is, to date, we have heard nothing about what is the truth and what isn’t from Bishop Long.

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The Side Everyone Thinks They Know

Many people who view disability as people who fake an injury, the black sheep as the loser of the family, and the homeless as the lazy, drug addict, and alcoholic do have reason to see the truth in some of their thinking. In my previous posts I have tried to reach out to remind my readers that sometimes the black sheep is the family member that out exceeds expectation, the homeless is sometimes employed and the disabled are many times truly disabled and not taking government money.

It is my intent to remind us all that it is easy to judge and make generalities towards all people and it is done on a daily basis with those that would gossip and exaggerate the circumstances adding fuel to the flame. Does it really matter to us that many of the people who appear to be lazy are often times depressed and that it is common when depression sits in for people to lift their spirits with drugs or alcohol? Have we become self-centered robots that only worry about our own needs and pass the attitude onto our children? Have we become so apathetic toward mankind as a whole that we truly do not care?

Many times drug users or alcohol abusers were abused as children and grow up being told they are nothing, whores, or losers by the very people who should be reaching out and giving them love? That, of course, being their parents. Others are never told they are loved and grow up in foster care all their life. Many times, despite these hardships, there will be many people who do not turn to drugs and alcohol or criminal behavior and instead become successful members of society where one member of the group, usually the most sensitive of the family, will take the drug and alcohol route.

In the 1920′s there was a great debate in our Country as to whether drug users should be treated as criminals or mental patients and helped by medicine. In the 1920′s the Harrison Tax Bill was passed to take cocaine, heroine, morphine, and alcohol out of common across the counter medicines and turned over to Doctors to prescribe. The Street drugs had been common household drugs and unregulated prior to that. It was common to find both cocaine and morphine in cough medicines, home remedies, and even in Coca Cola (it derived its name from cocaine). It was not until the 1950′s that street drugs were made illegal on a permanent basis.

The medical profession argued that drug use and addiction was a medical issue that needed to be treated in hospital settings where as both government and the churches argued that it was a criminal act and should be prosecuted. When approximately, 10,000 Doctors were arrested and imprisoned for using the drugs and becoming addicted themselves, rather than dispensing them to others, the medical profession lost its argument along with its credibility and street drugs became a criminal offense. It is not uncommon to have criminal activity often tied to drug addictions as stealing becomes the mainstay many times for people to get their next fix.

Con jobs are pulled and ran and have been so since the beginning of governments need to help the less fortunate. Just like there is cheating going on with food stamps, there are and always will be people faking injuries to scam the government of disability checks. Just as the bad cops give the good cops a bad image so are there people preying on the most vulnerable amongst us. Including hiring people to beg on the streets because they make good money that they then hand over to the people running the agency that hires beggars for the job. Do we deny the most vulnerable amongst us help because of the con men that work as predators amongst them?

One of the dumbest things to date,that the Tea Party has come up with, in my estimation, is to eliminate social security payments. It has been proven over the years that the cheapest way to care for the elderly is to let them live out their old age in their own homes. To institutionalize them or warehouse them cost, I believe I read, at least 3 times more than living in their own homes will cost the tax payers. without social security payments most of the baby boomers will have no choice but to live out their old age in institutions.

Even though it is true that only 43% of the baby boomers do have $10,000.00 or less for retirement the other equivalent of that is a great deal of them are living in sublet housing or paid off homes that they can afford to remain in as long as they are subsidized with their social security check. Does anyone have any idea just how much would be coming out of the pocket of our children and grandchildren if the baby boomer’s homes were taken away from them in exchange of them becoming institutionalized? Is anyone thinking much less have any compassion?

It is way pass time that we wake up and take a serious look at how many dollars are going into the candidates of the Tea Party choice along with special interests groups and start tracking down where the money is coming from to back these groups.

Right now,they are the same groups that are from the right-wing and running the broadcasts, print news, inter-net news and media in general, no differently against Obama, than the KKK has run the same lies against the minorities for generations. They have their own brand of lies that they are deliberately distorting into a perceived truth that is nothing more than hate.

Perhaps if we would boycott the cable or network news and sponsors we could find some reporter interested in finding the results as to what special interests has the deep pockets that are subsidizing the mouths of Beck, O’Reilly, and Palin along with the greed in America, and why the Tea Party candidates keep getting a large influx of money into their candidacy that brings them ahead to win. It may be the very least that we can do to save Democracy.

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“Who Died And Made You Boss?”

Think about it for a while. What have you done with your own life that makes you the authority on everyone else’s life? Look around yourself. Did you ever have or make goals for yourself? If so, how many of them did you accomplish? Aren’t you offering advice to someone who has done as well or better than you have despite their own limitations in life? What about you, were you ever challenged with limitations? Is the truth that you don’t know or aren’t sure because you never tried to find out?

Each generation has an obligation to improve on the next. How have you done?Have you added to Society or have you just existed in Society? Are you and have you been your only real interest? Have you elected others to be your heroes in your life so you could excuse yourself from doing the same? What have you done with the knowledge that you have gained other than use it to judge, manipulate or bully others? How many threats or excuses have you had to make, in order to manipulate or control another person? Did you act on it by mistreating others,lying about others, manufacturing stories, or just in general being an absolute bitch or jerk?

Now you know why I say that if we would all stop criticizing other people we share our lives with:employees,employers, groups,boy/girl friends, spouses, children, religions, and extended family members and expecting them to behave in the manner we would want them to, life would be fairly simple.

We would be able to trust their capacity to be their own conscious, to delegate authority, and to in general be the bosses of their own personal lives. We would be able to reflect on our own child rearing or people skills and correct the mistakes or add to the improvements. Without all those negatives weighing us down we would become a better person,friend, and supporter. We might even learn loyalty to our own spouses instead of belaboring everyone else in our lives with the complaints.

If you do not think that any of this applies to you then I ask you to challenge yourself to the test. For one week you are not to think negatively about the people in your life. When any such thoughts enter your mind instead of following through on it think something good instead about the person. All people have something good and decent about them because we would not be with them if they didn’t. It may be harder to find in some than others. If at the end of the week you feel better about yourself, then do it for another week and another until it becomes habit. If it does not make you feel better, then there is a very good chance, that you are using your problems to get attention, sympathy or to be lazy or you get joy from being abusive to others.

Thinking well or poorly about a person or people is a taught experience either from our childhood or from what we have picked up and generalized on our own, or from the group that we hang with. Just like joy and happiness require positive thought so does stopping complaints and criticism require positive thinking.

It’s o.k. to call a bitch a bitch or a jerk a jerk when they truly are, but then what are you doing hanging with them, if they are? Doesn’t “water seek its own level”?Aren’t you responsible for finding the answer to that yourself? All of our lives, only improve when we make it a priority to improve our lives, ourselves. Blaming others for it only means you are in a rut and your own life will not change until you take control over it.

If someone else is truly stopping you physically and you are being held against your own will, then please if you do nothing else, for the sake of all of the people who truly do care about you, get yourself to the nearest doctor,minister, or authority that can help you. The entire world around you, knows that you deserve better, even if you do not know that yourself.

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Pass The Buck—Blame

Many times something like Prop 8 in California will be passed by the majority of the voters and thrown out by the court. It gives those of us who understand equal rights, a sickening feeling in our stomachs, to think that any State, much less the people in it, would think that our role as Americans, is to ban the rights of another. The Court system or government was not established to legislate bigotry anymore than it was established to legislate morality.

For those of us that were alive another time in history, we see many similarities between the hate that is being preached against gay marriage as we saw preached against minority and white couples uniting in marriage. Interracial marriages were considered every bit as wrong and made illegal in 16 States prior to the 1970′s. If the rights of gay couples remain protected in our Constitution by the time Prop 8 runs the gamut of the appeals system there will always be those that yell that their right to legislate bigotry under the guise of “practicing their religious beliefs” is a God-given right in the Constitution.

The Constitution is about individual freedoms and no where is there any recognition of any one body,State, group, or religion having the authority to deny another group or individual their rights. In fact it is just the opposite in that they shall have no power to practice or influence the vote. Many of the Religions and the far right are screaming and will continue to scream about the freedom of religion to practice being crippled by the decision of the California judge that saw Prop 8 for what it was, and that is unjust.

For the rest of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, it is a time to celebrate. No one is infringing on religion. Religion is infringing on law and government. No one in government or law is telling anyone Church in America that they can not practice religion within the confines of their own Churches. The Churches themselves always have had and always will have , the right to determine who or whom they marry within the Doctrine of their Faith. This clearly is a, “pass the buck-blame”, issue that will be fed and kept alive for years to come while the confusion is spread through lies.

Already “Gay Judge” is part of the headlines. How simple are we that we cannot see that to deny the rights of any American the freedom to love and express that love through marriage is not for any of us to vote in favor of or against? If we as Americans deny anyone group the right to marry then shouldn’t we also have the power to deny people the right where they can be buried, where they can live,what religion they can practice, where they can work, or on what particular spot on earth they can breathe?

Isn’t it clear to most of us that as Americans the Constitution was formed to uphold the rights of everyone, including gay couples? Clearly it was not the intent of our forefathers that wrote the Constitution, to eliminate all marriages other than those that would gain approval in Salt Lake or Rome.

If you are one of those that think you should not or do not care then ask yourself.” if the judge had not of seen the obvious and ruled Prop 8 unconstitutional”, how close would you or your loved ones be to having your rights revoked? Where would your own family be, if another judge decided your right to make the decisions on the facts of your own life, did not fit the criteria?

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How Seriously Can Teenage Mothers Take Bristol Palin?

My first thought on this subject was that if Bristol could reach young women and discourage them from having babies then it would be worth perhaps the rumored price of $15,000 to $30,000 that she gets paid per speech. Then my Mother instincts and common sense kicked in and I couldn’t help but feel as though this might just be another attempt on the part of the Palin family to cash in. Only in America can a teenager get pregnant and then capitalize on it. Realistically I think we can all agree that it is a little insane.

When we give more thought to it, just how much can teenage moms relate to Bristol Palin? After all her pregnancy hasn’t stopped her from doing anything. If she does make $30,000 each speaking engagement then that means she only has to travel 3 times out of a year and stay at luxury hotels/motels with all expenses paid, and make more than 2/3 of what the Nation makes per household. $90,000.00 a year to be exact.

If she wants to go to college, buy diapers , buy formula and dress her child in nice clothing she can. She can afford a nice car and the expense as well as the insurance for it. She is simply like all Moms from the upper middle class, rather than a teenage mom, as she only needs to give up sleep for a year. She can afford day care, insurance,and baby sitters if she wishes to go to college, travel or socialize.

It strikes me, the thing that I forgot was, while she stands in front of a group of girls and tells them even with all she has, it is a major sacrifice, couldn’t it be like someone who breaks their toe or something equally minor, giving medical advice on how to succeed to a room of grade school and high school kids fighting ovarian cancer or leukemia? Doesn’t it then become a whole lot of whining in comparison to what other teen age moms will face in the real world?

What does she really know about parenting on the level of the kids she is speaking to? I would think that she would appear to be absurd, ridiculous, or a hypocrite for assuming that her life has the same boundaries as theirs’ or certainly is not some one in the position to advise anyone due to the extreme difference in her lifestyle. Certainly, teenagers who many times can see the obvious quicker than we can will recognize it as such.

As a Mom I know we all want to give the best to our children and along with not being able to buy formula, or affording diapers comes an altogether different stress of being a teen age Mom. I would think that these schools could find a better example to speak to the teenagers than someone who only needs to make a call to find a sitter if they really do want to go out and get a break from being a mother. Bristol will never experience anything that these girls will experience.

Many young girls living in a home of alcoholics, being prostituted out, with drug users for parents and dealing with incest have already learned that they cannot trust the people they should most likely be able to trust and that is their parents. Many are growing up in abusive circumstances and only want out. Would Bristol really have knowledge about how that feels?

Would she know what it would be like to dry a wet diaper and reuse it or have her toddler run around with a bare butt? Does she know anything about red tape and food stamps or aid to dependent mothers? Does she even know that there is powdered milk and even that will have to be diluted down to almost straight water until the next round of food stamps comes in?Would she know the fear of her parents or the apartments that harbor as many rats and cockroaches as tenets? Understand what drive by shootings feel like or to have a child rushed by the gangs? Does she know that many of them will not be able to afford transportation much less a car? Does she know the statistics of the boy friends hanging around or being abusive is both poor and great? Does she know that these young women that are trying to escape it all will still need to prostitute themselves, many times , in order to both feed and clothe the baby and their drug habit? Social service will enter their lives and often times if they do not have family to take the children the child will end up in foster care as the mother did?

Wouldn’t it sound like to these young mothers-to-be that Bristol does not have a clue? Many times these young girls have absolutely no hope left beyond believing that if they get pregnant their boyfriend will stay with them and they can get out. The baby will love them and for the first time in their lives they will feel loved by someone. It is a feeling that these young girls that spent time in foster care and juvenile detention have never felt or have any memory of feeling and that is, “how does it feel to be loved?”

Lets say that Bristol only speaks to those girls that do come from a middle class or wealthy background and they want a baby. Many times these young girls from a different background than their boy friends will foolishly think that if they get pregnant that will force their parents into accepting their boyfriends. Other times the subject of sex is hush hush in their homes and schools and they believe the methods that are false to prevent pregnancy, and other times they are having sex with the hopes of changing the life that they are living. A baby is exciting to them as a new puppy.If they have been shipped off to boarding schools or private schools they may very well be from a home with all the same problems when it comes to parents not having time for them. This very well could be someone who Bristol could relate to. None of us really know what the Palin environment has been like and if Bristol was on birth control and quite frankly it really is a private manner and none of our business. Even if she did grow up feeling as these girls did she still has nothing in common to advise them on unless maybe their parents are recognized around the World?

Even if that is the case the day that Sarah Palin accepted to run for vice-president on the McCain ticket didn’t she alter the life of her children forever? This would be no different or shouldn’t be if it was her father that did as well. Even if these teenagers are feeling unloved and want a baby to love them,are trying to get their parents to accept their boyfriends, are having sex carelessly, or are feeling bored and looking for an excuse to get out of the doldrums of their lives, isn’t Bristol Palin now way beyond anyone else in being able to relate to anyone when it comes to teenage mothers?

Doesn’t the name recognition totally change her perspective on how a normal life in a normal home would function? Isn’t she always going to have to live in a lime light and watch every move, much less every mistake she ever makes? Does this have anything at all to do with teen age pregnancy and being a parent? What can she possibly ever know again about what is normal for the common person?

The only thing that makes any sense to me, as far as Bristol Palin giving advise to anyone on any level , when it comes to parenting, is that she will be able to parrot the lines written for her by someone else. Her life, nor the life of her child, will never be one in which she can talk about how easy she has it in comparison to others and still finds it hard to be a teenage mother and be taken seriously, by people who deal in common sense and reality.

To do so will only evoke someone else or many others towards feeling resentful, jealous,aggitated,shocked,disgusted or any of the negative emotions that come from people who have had to earn their lively hood the old fashion way. Even the middle class and wealthy, and especially both, have had to earn their station in life through a great deal of hard work,commitment,sacrifice, doing the right thing,education, sweat and tears. For someone to earn more than they do by getting pregnant as a teenager might be understandable to some who do become irritated by this behavior.

I personally do not begrudge anyone an opportunity to have life easier than it was for the unwed mothers of our previous generations but there is somethig that seems offensive to the moral nature of this. If nothing else a little tacky and low class. Perhaps it is because the Palin name has become what it has because we as a society keeps buying into their cheesy attempts to stay in the public eye. Were we really that bored as a Nation that the name has become that significant to us or have we all just fallen for the sales pitch?

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Where Is The Common Sense?

1. A mother I knew complained that her 3-year-old was obese and couldn’t understand why as she never ate anything. The 3-year-old that should have been off the bottle was drinking 32 bottles of a high sugar drink a day.
2. Parents gave their two sons age 10 and 12 a beer each if they would dance at a barn dance. They are adults and now the parents cannot understand why they are alcoholics.
3. Hostesses and Maitre’ D’s are told to seat people in different sections according to the amount of people coming in. They follow the instructions to the point that people on a cane, a walker, or with a nasal canal for oxygen are taken all the way back rather than seated at the nearest possible seat even though walking is a struggle for them.
4. Women continually date men that have no character as they like the “bad boys” and then complain, “there are no good men left.”
5.Parents complain that their child is doing poorly in school and then send them to their room without supervision and tell them to do their homework. Why don’t they know that the television set and game boys are getting the child’s attention in their rooms over home work?
6. An adult child is not making their car payments on time or are not paying their bills but parents give them a down payment to buy their homes and then are puzzled as to why the bank is foreclosing on the same homes.
7. Parents lie to their kids and tell them “don’t tell Dad or Mom” and then can not understand why their children grow up and lie.
8. Parents pick up meals at fast food drive throughs and say they cannot afford to eat healthy. The same $20.00 bill that they leave at the fast food place to feed the family would have bought an inexpensive roast, potatoes, a bag of carrots and a head of broccoli and fed the family for 3 nights with the original meal and followed by the stews or casseroles that followed.
9. Parents give an excited child one of their valiums, tranqulizers, or sleeping pill and then cannot understand why their child grows up to be a drug addict.
10. parents encourage their children to be popular by giving them everything while teaching them through their own example, the lack of need to take responsibility for their own behavior and allowing them to date at 10 and 12 and then cannot understand why they are dealing with pregnancy at 16. Many of these same parents scream about schools offering both condoms and sex education.

This is such a small list of what is and has gone on in homes across America for years now, and is considered normal by those that live their lives in denial. It hasn’t a thing to do with a mother working at home or out of the home. It hasn’t a thing to do with which Church we attend. It hasn’t a thing to do with which political party we belong to. It hasn’t a thing to do with how much money we have in our purse or our wallet. It hasn’t a thing to do with if couples are married or not married. It has nothing to do with which nationality we belong to.

What it does have to do with is a total lack of common sense or an ability to reason about long-term results. Sadly it is only a drop in the bucket when it comes to what is and what has been going on in the homes across America for generations now. Don’t you think folks that it is time that we all stop and think before we act?

The herd mentality or flock mentality has distroyed our own individual ability to think for ourselves. Children do not have the ability to think for themselves when all they see are parents that never think for themselves or for the safety of their families. The future of our families depend on our ability to stand-alone and to think and reason for ourselves. Let’s get started changing our mind set today. The changes we make will change the future for our children tomorrow in a way that will be a Blessing to us all.

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