Jodi Arias And Arizona Law

I’ll put my two cents into the fray as this case over many others, seems to me, to have captured the Nation’s attention and taken on a life of it’s own to a maniacal level. It also is the longest running trial in the history of Arizona.

I am always amazed by the hate that comes from people when a liar and a murderer is put on trial. Despite what the pundits may think about Jodi Arias’ defense team they gave her an iron clad case that will stand up against any appeals some other defense team may try to file, on appeal. We forget that this is the job of any Defense attorneys under the law. When the evidence was so clearly stacked against Jodi and her lies, it became even more important that a defense team put on an aggressive defense. To do anything less would only come back and hurt the Alexander family even greater.

When a criminal is given less than a stellar defense team, there are too many times when the family will be subjected to more heart-ache and suffering with a brand new trial, if the defense attorneys are found to be incompetent in defending their clients against crime and especially in death cases. Those of us who do care for the welfare of the victims’ families should hope to see a good defense put on just as we would hope for if we wanted to spare our own families against more heart-ache of a new trial on appeal.

One murder trial for any family is always one too many to have to endure. This was not a time to have a defense team who refused to only question the prosecutor’s findings or to have a lawyer who fell asleep at the trial. The better the evidence as was available at this trial, and put on by the prosecutor’s side,the more of a defense we should want to see offered even though it sometimes may make our skin crawl.

Since I do not hang out with people found guilty of murder you must excuse me if I sound cynical but don’t all murderers lie? I have never heard a murderer confess to the fact they have any memory of the crime, while they are stabbing someone, or a defense attorney who would advise their client to acknowledge the fact that they did, if they did have.

Aren’t all who murder and on trial, defending themselves, arrogant, narcissistic, and sociopaths? Don’t defense attorneys in their efforts to defend these offenders often put the victims on trial in an effort to lessen the punishment of the people they are defending? We all hate that they do but their job in a criminal case is to save the life of their client or to win acquittal. The only people who usually do understand the job of Defense attorneys are the people who are unfairly accused. Didn’t Jodie lie on the stand because of the arrogance that she could convince a jury of her innocence?

Unless a defendant has told so many public lies already, Defense lawyers will not put them on a stand. The more arrogant they are the more they do choose to go against the advice of their lawyers, who are hired to give them Justice under the law. Defense attorneys either buy into the lies and promote the same that was told to them, while adding their own personality and propensity to ignore the facts, or they truly believe their client to be innocent. In many cases they are.

The Defense attorney will also advise those clients who are innocent to take the stand or not to as well, and a jury should never buy into innocence or guilt if the defendant does or does not take the stand. Doesn’t all defense attorneys attempt to degrade the scientific evidence or accuse the police of sloppy handling of the evidence or produce their own opposing evidence, when the client can afford the same ? Don’t all who murder, leave behind loved ones to grieve, their own families included?

So what makes this case so much different from all the other cases of murder to the point that the Jury, who sacrificed greatly of their time away from loved ones who they could not speak to about what was going on in their lives for five months, that they are now receiving death threats from the angry or insane that should be in therapy themselves?

It is not uncommon that jurors do think they can convict someone of the death penalty until they actually are appointed judge and jury and have the life of another person in their hands. Until and when we all acknowledge that it is the insane Arizona Law itself that is responsible for the problem the jury was confronted with, then calmer heads will not prevail.

The facts of life in America are or should be the following:

1. Either we as a Nation accept the fact that our State is a Death Penalty State or we do not. When the majority vote accepts it as the same, then the Judges should Pronounce sentences according the Statutes of the Laws in that State, once the jury finds the offender guilty of first degree murder, even when it does include death penalties.

2. Why Arizona or any other States do decide to keep the Death Penalty and hold the jury responsible for the decision of death when they have already found Jodi Arias guilty of first degree murder with extenuating circumstance of extreme cruelty, is beyond me.

3.The Judges themselves are bound by the Statutes of law in their own States as to how much time the criminal needs to spend in jail with every other crime committed in the United States. Why shouldn’t it also be the judges decisions, once hearing oral arguments from the lawyers, to determine punishment? They are given that freedom when they disagree with the juries decisions on first degree murder anyway, in other States that have the death penalty.

4.Either the States accept the death penalty is not cruel and unusual punishment or they establish life imprisonment. Once the voters of the States accept that they want to retain the death penalty and the Prosecutors prove first degree murder with extreme cruelty doesn’t common sense tell all of us that the Jury has served and performed their duties? The defendant becomes the criminal since they have been found guilty in a Court of law by their peers, at this point, and that should be all that is asked of any jury anywhere.

5. Who amongst us could actually send another person to death when our knowledge of the person’s intent and our own interpretation of the law is so overwhelmingly lacking? I don’t think we could find 12 jurors, who do not hate and based on the level of evidence, who could all handle in good faith, the responsibility of killing another human being.

6. We as a Nation who asks our jurors to do just that aren’t understanding the full realm of consciousness that plays a role in asking jurors to do the job that should be worked out between people of law, in my estimation.

Even though Democracy is made up of majority rule we should always understand that States that vote for the Death Penalty are not made up of the same view in 100% of its population. Many of those who never question their ability to find a person guilty and believe they can ask for the death penalty are the first to crumble when placed under the pressure of deciding the fate of another.

The only time we ask our citizens to be 100% in agreement is when they serve on a Jury. It is not very realistic for anyone to believe they are in 100% agreement, when many decisions are made by juries, despite the fact they agree to the same when they are polled. Even twins, married couples, best friends, and siblings are rarely in 100% agreement. It is not unusual for people who serve on juries to suffer nightmares, afterwards, when they were convinced by their own conscious or by others, at the time of the verdict, their decisions were the correct ones.

Jurors are told not to give in to pressure but to vote their own common sense and conscious. Seldom is that allowed to be applied by the time juries end their discussions.

The only way I can perceive that 12 people who are not related to the victims or friends of the same, do not have biases or bigotries with preconceived notions, are not tired of the case after 5 months and want to go home, do not have an axe to grind, or any other negative influences of anger and such, as all objective jurors must be, could all in good faith,100% of the time find the death penalty against another human being would be:

1. If they were bullied into the same as they often are
2. If they were tired of listening to another person on the jury
3. If they discounted guilt or innocence because the person on trial or the defense attorney did not present themselves well.
4. If they were made to feel their point of view was stupid or foolish
5. If they are a crowd pleaser
6. If they are too shy or intimidated to speak up for what they believe
7. If they vote out of empathy for the victim’s family over interpretation of the law
8. If they went into the discussions liking the prosecution team better and believing that Prosecutors are always more ethical and honest than are Defense Attorneys
9. If they felt that the defendant would not be on trial unless they are guilty
10.If the evidence against the extenuating circumstances and pleas of the families over-rides the interpretation of the law, which is always subjective, when left to self-interpretation by juries who are not trained in law
11,If they just plain do not like the defendants and want to find them guilty
12.If they made up their minds of guilt before the trial and ending arguments were heard
13.If they believe, “an eye for an eye”, when that has never applied to the law in any State and is not part of any jury instructions,EVER
14.If their own feelings for sparing life is not over-weighed by their feelings of death being justified under any and all circumstances in murder cases
15.They are sick of the case and blame the defense attorney or the prosecutors the most for prolonging it, regardless
16.If in very remote cases the Defendant ask their attorney not to present evidence but instead to ask for the death penalty during the penalty phase of the case.
17.On equally rare occasions, the jurors all are unanimous in the belief that there is absolutely no reason that the Court should show mercy due to a difficult childhood, mental illness, or up-bringing even when the judges inform them that this needs to be taken into consideration during their discussions in the penalty phase prior to reaching a unanimous verdict

People do murder in approximately one third of all murder cases after having a child hood of loving parents and pampered lives,and in these murder cases 100% verdicts of asking for death are made simpler for jurors who can do so in clear conscious, just as they can for those very rare times that the murderer asks for the death penalty. Approximately one third of all murders are committed by people who were never disciplined as children or told “No”, they could not have something when they were children.

These murderers were never made to take responsibility for their own actions or behavior. In the case of neglect we can find a child who grows up feeling unloved and unworthy of the important values of life. A good defense attorney will evoke sympathy of the jurors for these clients even though it is a more difficult of a job to do so with many juries, when physical or sexual abuse or mental illness are absent.

It is the job of Defense Attorneys to attempt to evoke sympathy for their client during the penalty phase of a trial, usually through witnesses or family members. If the defense attorneys do not present an earnest effort during this phase of the trial,the clients can prove ineffective representation in some cases when on appeal.

Some clients are such loners or reprehensible the attorney alone will fight for the client since no one else will speak for them, the client wants to spare their own families and doesn’t want anyone else to speak for them, or the client does ask for the death penalty themselves. When a lack of defense is offered during the penalty phase, unless requested by the clients, and the case is repealed because of it, a new trial can be ordered making it necessary for the victims’ families to have to go through the same kind of agony that only a case of murder can bring with it.

Could those of us who have suffered abuse or have family members afflicted with mental illness totally disregard mercy for those who suffered from either or both 100%, realistically, even knowing their crime showed extreme cruelty? Jurors who agree to totally disregard mercy towards abusive upbringing or mental illness as a reason to find in favor of the death penalty a 100%, without understanding case study in law, are not by nature equipped to do so.

Sadly, the other previously acknowledged 15 factors on the list of 17 above scenarios, happen too often in juries. For that reason alone, it should be the biggest argument for why Judges should determine the penalty phase once the defendant has been found guilty by their peers in a court of law.

Lawyers always work out the penalty phase and agree on sentencing, and a Judge accepts the penalty, in first degree murder cases when a murderer pleads guilty. Why should it be any different once a defendant is found guilty by their peers in a Court of law? Judges have been given that discretion, even when Jurors are asked to decide death in the penalty phase in Capital Death States, elsewhere. There has already been plenty of precedence set for Judges to over-rule the decisions of jurors made during the penalty phase, for many years now. Shouldn’t we ask ourselves in a Capital murder case, when judges are all bound by preceding law,”Why” jurors are asked to decide death in Capital Murder? .

This jury acted exactly as it should have and should be congratulated for their efforts to seek justice. If more of us made an effort to understand what is expected of a Death Penalty Jury we would either change our own States to life in imprisonment without parole or acknowledge that this jury, unlike many others showed all of us that they do know more than most when it comes to finding Justice under the law according to their own conscious.

I am always amazed by those who call themselves Christian, and then turn around and support the worse that is seen in juries over the best that is seen, as this one has demonstrated the best of juries. It is nice to see that Arizona can still put together a jury of justice despite some of its’ other more inane or insane laws. I think the whole fascination with this entire case should leave us all shaking our heads, to be honest. My prayers are with the Alexander and Arias Families. God Bless you!

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400,000 Rape Kits Unprocessed

I wrote an earlier post on the rape of Steubenville, Ohio, being treated as an isolated incidence when in truth the fault lies amongst all of us who do not respond, as we should, against the crime of rape.

The news agencies are reporting the cases are old and obsolete and the technology we have today wasn’t available. I’m sure there is truth in that but it doesn’t explain the cases that happened much more recently and as recent as 4 months ago. I will report what I have read and been told many times by those who do serve in police Departments going back many years. What we will never hear reported is that a great deal of politics also lies behind the fact that the rape kits were not sent in to be processed.

To be honest, I did not watch the report done on CNN who brought it to the media attention that 400,000 rape kits were left unprocessed in our Nation. I did watch as one of the women anchors asked, “if the police could be prosecuted or sued for leaving the rape kits unprocessed?” In my own estimation this question, itself, is just more of the finger-pointing and simplifying that is done towards the crime of rape in America.

There are any number of reasons as to why police do not process rape kits, so lets be honest about it. Too many amongst us already take too much delight in finding fault or individuals to blame. I do not understand why police, who for the most part are people of honor, do put in the back breaking hours that too many times ruin their marriages, take them away from their family time and vacations, risks their lives, and often are the most under-paid amongst us, when those amongst us keep finding fault, except for the fact that the majority of the people who serve are people of character. When we point fingers and “pass the buck”, we can at the very least spread the fault out where it belongs.

There are other instances in America where the mayor gets called by the father or mother of the son, or by an alumnus who supports the sports program of their alma mater when the rapist is an athlete, friend, or family member and the Mayors pick up the phone and inform the Chief-of-Police that he will not allow his officers to investigate the crime or process the rape kits or suffer the consequences when it comes to him withdrawing his and his buddies’ monetary support during the upcoming elections.

The Chief of Police then passes the message down the line of command. Rarely is it in that terminology but the words used amount to the same definitions and do not go left unheeded when delivered by those of Status, Power or Wealth.

All these cases did not occur in Chicago, as many are trying to politicize, already. They are spread around the Nation. Just as the Mayors in some cases make the calls, so do Judges receive like calls as do prosecutors have a history of never prosecuting cases after the Police put hours into investigating the crimes and processing the kits; due to similar calls by the elitists in America with threats of withdrawal or support of monetary value at election time. The police are at the bottom of the chain of command, no matter how many would have us believe they are given a great deal of discretion, when it comes to processing rape kits. Intimidation lands the hardest on the backs of the police officers when they are threatened with dismissal if they proceed with the investigation.

If it is some one of importance that can directly influence the jobs of the police, lower their standing in the Department, or demote them to desk jobs then they do not have discretion to process rape kits and anyone who refuses to acknowledge this happens throughout police Depts. regardless of size through out our Nation then we are lieing to ourselves. The same organizations or media who are not reporting accurately, in regards to why rape kits are not processed, are also reporting less than the facts.

The bosses who will lose the political support of the benefactor if they do prosecute or don’t drop the cases are the ones who tie the hands of the police’ in directly much larger cases than it is right to do so. The police many times can only keep the kits until a better or different climate towards the understanding of the “horror” of rape is elected to office by “We the People.”

There are those who are called the “Good Old Boys”, in many but not all Police Departments, in the majority of States who know if its an appointed or elected position and a member of the Clergy or their sons then it is just the girl’s/Woman’s word against the boys/man’s word and they will and do bury rape kits. Without the investigation or rape kits the knowledge is the victims can prove nothing. The only reason many of those kits have been saved is because in many other crimes or cases the police or prosecutors are waiting for the right political climate to be able to prosecute the offenders.

In communities when it comes to the so called “right kind of People”, being charged with rape the Community itself becomes out-raged if the police or prosecutors do try to convict rapists.

As a Nation, too many amongst us still refuse to accept that wives and prostitutes as well as mistresses are indeed raped. Others in a community still refuse to accept the high number of boys who are raped and, often times, refuse to accept that incest and rape exists in the numbers of victims it does in their own families and neighborhoods or amongst their friends.

When the culture exists for adults to call friends “aunties” or “uncles” too many parents will accuse their own children of lying before they will accept that they are telling them the truth. The most protected criminals of all in a community still remains the star athletes, clergy, and “one of their own”. The unfounded belief, that is totally void of fact, is that the streets are the greatest producer of rapists and that rape does not happen in our own back yards by people we know when statistics show just the opposite to be true.(Please Read my Previous Post entitled ,”Steubenville Exposes The Ugly Truth On Rape” for a more comprehensive study as to why rape cases go unrecognized and prosecuted as the Serious Crime it is.)

Some States that are more inclined to be involved in the realities of, “the truth in reporting”, and the life-long seriousness of rape, have jettisoned into the twenty-first Century by taking away the statute of limitations when it comes to the crime of rape. Many others are still living in the dark ages as technology no longer leaves any shred of doubt as to who is telling the truth. Unless the majority of us get past the mentality of “Boys will Be Boys” and instead insist that regardless of the standing in the community; “rapist are not to be allowed special favors,” we all risk re-raping the victims in every State of the Union.

I applaud those who are at least exposing the Ugly truth of Rape but unless we as a Nation tell, “The whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth”, in a Court of Law and in reporting rape, we still bind the hands of the police or those who would prosecute rape.

I do not deny that there are crooked cops just as their are those in Universities and the military who have denied that rape exists in their ranks for generations. It is when we start pointing our fingers at the heroes of all who serve, while blaming them for the rotten apples, we become as guilty as the politicians when it comes to trying to sweep the full tragedy and facts of rape under the rug.

No matter what changes are made in the law, we still run the risk of tying the hands of the police hired to serve us when we refuse to elect those who will and do prosecute rape.

Certainly electing Conservative and Tea Party Members who try to call a child” borned of Rape”, the intent of God or those who pass bills in Congress to define rape as anything but; ” When A woman or child says “NO”, it is rape. When it is a child below the age of 14 to 16 it is always rape since they do not have the brain development to give consent regardless of the situation. When children or women have been drugged, abused, intimidated, forced into having sex it is rape”. When the largest majority of all rapes occur by neighbors, friends, family, or colleagues and we know incest is rape; then who is it that needs to be protected by defining rape? The victims as well as anyone above the age of six already knows the definition of rape

Rape isn’t anything too complicated to define when we get past those who would protect the rapists or the “Right Kind Of People.” Nothing a little common sense and decency couldn’t solve. The solution certainly isn’t to blame those whose hands we help to tie.

None of us like to admit that perhaps we, ourselves, made a mistake when we voted for a candidate and as a result we often leave them in office year after year feeling as though they are responsible for correcting the mistakes they promised to do when elected and then our responsibility is over with as our elected officials will speak for us.

In too many cases when judges are appointed or Sheriffs, and Prosecutors come up for re-election, especially, will they get left in offices before much investigation is done by us, unless they themselves are convicted of crimes or a petition is started up against their ineffectiveness. As a result some will remain in offices doing little to nothing for those of us who sent them there while paying homage to the elitists, year after year. We cannot complain if we deny or ignore the fact that the same happens and simply shrug our shoulders and simply accept the fact:” that is just the way it is.”

“We The people”, only need to be more pro-active about being honest with ourselves when it comes to rape as well as the people who we put into office to represent us,by treating every human being with an equal amount of truth and respect and demanding that all who serve, do the same when technology does not lie. Politics are almost always local and a healthy amount of skepticism, for those who we elect or leave to appoint to office, is almost always good to possess despite those who would advise us to the contrary.

We can also vote the bums out when they profess ignorance because rape hasn’t been defined clear enough. When we become pro-active enough to recognize fact over lies and when we go to the polls each election cycle, we empower the victims so they do not suffer rape again at the hands of the system.

I hope all of us have a nice evening at home tuning in on this terribly violent day of storms. May we all be protected against more devastation that is out of our control while we tune in more to positive actions towards helping those who continue to be wronged by acknowledging their pain. We can make a difference one person at a time, once we commit to the same. First of all we have to want to help.

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Grief And Grieving

According to the process of teaching, “All truth passes through three stages, First it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”–Arthur Schopenhauer

Many of us feel a genuine sorrow each time that we hear of the deaths of children or mistreatment of pets, even when we have not known or spent time with them.  Not all people do, nor do they need to feel guilt if they don’t.  Not all people bond with children or pets and cultural differences in the way we accept death, also plays a role in why some people will grieve profoundly while others feel a compassion and act differently from those who grieve the lost of strangers. This was very prevalent in the attacks of 9/11, as well. Some people also remain more resilient while they prefer to spring into action first.

The NewTown tragedy, is one of many killings of our children by those who use guns but it leaves a profound lost on all of us as a Nation, because there are so many 6 and 7 year olds who have lost their lives.  Even those who do not have any particular fondness for children, can remember those hopeful years of their own lives, and feel that this tragedy leaves them with a genuine sense of regret for the lives lost.

We generally accept the Kubler-Ross model of grieving even though it has its share of critics as well.  The study was based on people who were terminally ill and how they coped with the lost of their health and the acceptance of death and they later applied the same emotions to all lost of that which we are bonded to.  I repeat the 5 steps here;

1.  Denial—”I feel fine”

2.  Anger—-”Why me?  It’s not fair.”

3.  Bargaining–”I’ll do anything for a few more years or one more moment”.

4. Depression—”I’m so sad, why bother with anything”.

5.  Acceptance–”Its going to be o.k.”

Others have added two other emotions and they are shock which most commonly accompanies denial and leaves us feeling numb and guilt.   Guilt is common with care givers who feel they should have been able to do more or with survivors who are involved in the same act of violence or car accident or in death of any kind. It is also common is spouses and siblings,especially when a twin is lost through death or separation.  It directly affects those who fight together in wars, sometimes for the rest of their lives.

Emotions can also be very varied without fitting a pattern of any kind.  They can run from solemn to trepidation to anxiety or to rage and disgust.  Many times feelings of jealousy or envy or even hate can follow when we see other children graduate with their classes or marry or we see other spouses with their mates, even after we feel that our sadness has dissipated. It is important that those who are experiencing many ranges of emotions are not alone but instead with friends and family members until the pain or shock that often triggers these erratic or difficult to deal with emotions calm down. When we are more clear of our own emotions then we can reflect on our own if we have the capacity to do so and know our own strengths and weaknesses. Any shooting of any nature often leads to temporary trauma in all of us.

In years past, the Medical Association did  not talk about post traumatic stress disorder in other situations outside of war.  As modern techniques expose more about the human brain, it is now more generally accepted that PTSD can and does exist on many levels of trauma and often times does accompany shock when death is totally unexpected.

The important thing with grieving is that we all know that there is not a clear-cut pattern for those who grieve.  Many emotions can be involved just as the more resilient or people with a history or exposure to death will feel fewer emotions.  Some may spend days crying while others who have been exposed to death can move on with few tears and gain acceptance earlier.  It is when grieving goes on for months into years with a total sense of helplessness that we should be certain to get professional help without any sense or feeling like we are weak or a failure.

We all have different ways of coping throughout life and a different time-frame in which we grieve.  Some find genuine laughter over memories of loved ones their healing tool.  Others will memorialize their loved one while still others who are use to solving their own problems in life will remain isolated amongst family members and choose to grieve alone.  Some will feel a responsibility and duty to do something first, and then grieve later when things become more quiet. Others will turn to Religion and the hope offered through its teachings while others will commit their lives to doing for others in an effort to feel good about themselves and to help lift the veil of sadness. Some delay going back to work and grieve immediately and find it only takes a few months to reach acceptance.  Others lose themselves in work and delay their grieving, because they feel a need to analyze the reasons why, first. When they finally accept the fact that there are no answers to the why they move on to the acceptance of death.

The main thing is that we acknowledge that not all things are great and that we do understand a necessity to grieve with the understanding that it should not be a lifetime condition that brings debilitating sadness. Some people will feel better talking about the death while others will want to choose who they discuss it with, if they wish to discuss it at all.  Many times those who grieve will blame the innocent bystander or take out their bad feelings on the closest people to them.

Grieving takes a high level of understanding sometimes. We cannot excuse poor behavior as being normal,and need  to understand that we may need to learn three simple words such as:”I am sorry.” Some people become over protective or obsessive out of fear of another loss during the period of grieving.  They will sometimes use poor behavior in order to deliberately drive away others who they love because they cannot bear the lost of another person in their lives. People who have a previous history of relieving bad feelings in themselves,on those closest to them, many times should ask for help during this time, while those who are close by understand this is not a time to judge, harshly.

Too many times we get stuck in one step of grieving and rather than feel the pain or get grief counseling will turn to alcohol or drugs and only compound our own grieving.  Grieving needs to take place, as the longer we delay it, the more problems will arise in the family as a result of our doing so. It is not uncommon for parents to delay their own grieving while making sure their children are o.k. first.  It is important that we understand that if we are not well then our children will not be  either.  Alcohol and drugs in moderation may help with sleep in the earlier days but should never replace or be used to deny the feelings of pain that we need to heal from, through grieving our loss.

We can grieve while also feeling genuine appreciation for having had our loved ones in our lives, and many recover as a result of the same. Some want to leave pictures up as a reminder of their loved ones, while others want to remove all reminders of them.  Some will continue to celebrate birthdays while others will feel a need to mourn. People are all different in their expressions of sorrow and we need to respect the same, but also remain cognizant of those who need professional help in order to cope. It is o.k to find moments of laughter and to look back after a few months or a couple of years and to acknowledge that we were not always rational during our grieving process.  Very many aren’t.

It is important that we understand that various levels of grieving in a marriage often leads to disputes that can lead to divorce if one of the members in the marriage are ready to move on and remember the good moments shared by the deceased while the other mate is still asking,”Why Me?” Grieving too many times will lead to intolerance in couples while it will bring others closer together since no one else can entirely understand their shared lost as clearly as they can.

We can often times treat those closest to us, during the grieving time pretty poorly, if we do not move ahead with the grieving process.  Children as young as 18 months can feel the loss of the bond of a sibling or parent and grieve. Children who lose their best friends can withdraw and be afraid of initiating new friends because to do so feels like betrayal to them. They can not always voice their feelings, or understand them, themselves. Children grieve differently from adults in that they often times do not cry but instead will act out.

Children may have episodes of unexplained rage or with draw into themselves.  When adults grieve it is especially important that when a child loses a sibling or a friend at an early age, that we understand that the children are losing the person in their lives that has always been part of their lives that they have confided in and made plans with for a future as well.  The most neglected lost of loved ones often does lie in the lack of understanding for the death of a friend or sibling, when they lose their friend or sibling too early.

The lost of a sibling is difficult for adults to deal with, but too few amongst us, understands the difficulty as the sympathy and understanding goes more often to  the parents,spouses, or their children. Siblings are often called on to be strong and to act as spokes people instead. The loss of a twin can compare to the lost of a spouse as many ideas,hopes,jokes,love,hate,upsets,plans for the future, and people in their lives are shared from birth and through out their lives. The identity or feeling of losing half of ourselves, when we lose a twin, is most like that of losing a spouse.  No relationship is more involved or longer lasting than that of  a twin relationship when their relationship begins in the womb they share.

What we as parents need to do is to make certain that our sadness does not spread over to our children or lose patience with our children if they are not shedding tears but are acting out. It helps  instead to discuss with them what they are feeling to make them behave the way they are.  Children should not hear everything about the shootings but sadly many will hear it from other sources and we need to be aware of the fact that details often become exaggerated and lead to nightmares in our children. When questioning them we need to be careful not to offer details but instead to find out what they know or are feeling and answer them honestly.

Just as some adults will cry for days while others don’t, the same is true with children. Children,depending on age, do not clearly understand the permanence of death.  They just know that their parent,friend, or sibling is not with them now and do not understand the long-term of death but feel a real unexplained sadness in themselves. Some will need our understanding on their level to cope without us forcing our own coping measures or the lack of the same on them. Grieving needs to be age appropriate just like everything else in life does.

The tragedy effecting our Nation in NewTown,Connecticut can affect our children around the globe and it is especially important that we communicate with our children about their concerns without expressing our own concerns.  It is alright to say Mommy and Daddy are feeling sad because they know that already but they should not be made to feel as a replacement for the children lost, or be compared to them.

We are each uniquely our own person and that applies to grieving as well.  We will not always be on the same page together nor do we have a time clock running.  If we need grief counseling we most definitely need to seek it out before we are left to deal with an unnecessary guilt or a prolonged sense of hopelessness.  It is important that we also rest during this time, when we can.  Grieving is exhausting and requires that we do get sleep.

Good luck and my condolences are with all of you.  I, like the rest of the Nations around the World, are wishing you the strength to recover on your own time and in your own space knowing our prayers and thoughts are with all of you.  May the goodness of the Season offer all of us the hope that we as a Nation will do something about such needless tragedies, in the New Year. God Bless all of us!  (See my previous post,”Guns And Mental Illness”)

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Do We Know Ourselves?

When was the last time or have we ever taken a hard look at ourselves?  Many felt that candidate Mitt Romney defeated himself in the election because we really did not know the person, Mitt Romney, when his conversations in private were opposite of his public conversation. The young Tea Party members are expressing the fact that they need to be more inclusive of all Americans and talk about it.  Does conversation on a level of rhetoric convince any of us when the actions through their votes deny the same? When Congress holds the middle class hostage as they have for thirty years, in order to make certain the wealthy gain instead, will we believe that they care about all Americans?

Isn’t this true about many of us, in that our conversations are many times opposite of our actions? How inclusive are we in our actions?  When I first moved into the Rural areas or took a new job, and I still find it to be true, many of the people I met were so busy asking me questions about myself, while they failed to tell me much of anything about who they were or are.

When couples meet for the first time many times women will tell men much more about themselves than what men will tell about themselves. Many time a majority of men will talk about what jobs they are studying for or hope to get or they hold,hiking,sports,hunting,fishing,women,working out,or any other subject that does not reveal themselves long before they will reveal personal information about themselves.

In the heading about myself on this blog I reveal nothing about myself but state I prefer to let others define me because in writing anything, we will reveal ourselves.  Too often people will go into denial about the person they feel  they are before they will take an honest look at themselves. Many times if we ask what their belief or philosophies are on important issues of the day, we will many times get back a blank stare before we will get an answer.   Other times we hear, ”I really am not interested in that,” “that kind of stuff just makes my mind go numb,” or “I haven’t got a clue about what you are talking about.”  Too many people fail to realize that we should at very least take time out to reflect or know our own philosophy on life in order to understand the person that we truly are and embrace.

If we fail to understand our own belief system and the triggers in our own life, that makes us understand why we react to the outside stimulus of life the way we do, then we too many times will spend a lifetime judging others according to standards we do not practice in our own lives.  Many times we will live beyond our means and makes excuses as to why we do or look down our noses at those who do with less and find much more happiness in life than we do.  Having the courage to look at ourselves on an honest level of really knowing and embracing the person who lives inside of us is what makes us find the joy that we seek.

When our own behavior defies the reality of the person that we are, we leave others feeling as though we are a misguided individual, or brain washed by Society or other people’s philosophy, while we have no clue as to what it is that we truly do embrace.  The 2010 election was a perfect example as to how quickly what we knew about our President Barack Obama, could be turned on lies both against him and against Obama care.  It took too many to finally realize that is was not our President who changed his commitments to us but the lies that we accepted as truth, that turn our views on him.  In the end he won because we recognized that his words matched his actions and as a leader he would fight for our rights.

When we fail to know ourselves then we too many times can be led in life by people who prey on our vulnerability. If we have to ask,”Why am I always attracted to people who are not good for me?” then it is time we discover for ourselves why we have to ask,”Why are we always attracted to the same and what are the triggers in me that makes me continually repeat the same mistakes?” Our friends will make excuses for us and so will our family say things such as,”You are just to kind or trustworthy”, or other answers that actually make us feel better about being attracted to those who prey on us.” When we do not get an honest answer but buy into what others tell us, we keep repeating the same mistakes.

When we learn more about ourselves we often find that we have an irrational need to be needed,or to be made whole by someone else,or there is an insecurity in ourselves that can only be made to feel better by attracting or gathering those who we feel are inferior to us.  When we believe we are better than those who we attract too many times we feed our own false ego in the process. The difference between confident people and insecure people is: that those who do know themselves understand their own weaknesses and strengths and their lives indicate that they live according to their own philosophy of self, over that which has been defined by others.  When I tell my readers that I would rather be defined by others, it is because I am confident in the person that I am and yet aware enough that even with that, people will define me anyway.

It is when we can change and alter our actions according to the words that we speak that we do become the person we want to be.  We do not have one set of standards for ourselves, while holding another set of standards for the clique’s,or the job that we work or the group that we hang with during our free time. When we are true to ourselves then we are true to others as well.

Many times in life we are given tests, or run into road blocks in life, or even marry people that we had no business of marrying.  If we do not reflect on ourselves and what our own tolerances or rejections in life are all about, then too often we will go into denial about the person we are.  We need a clarity of why we react and why we need to fill an emptiness in ourselves with that which is bad for us.  If we do not understand ourselves It will exhibit itself in all kinds of judgement calls against others,acceptance of what we intellectually know and understand to be destructive but we will choose it anyway, and leave us in a state of confusion to the point that we can be led by undesirables.

We heard the word hypocrisy expressed many times during the election year because we did not feel that the candidates spoke on the truth of their own lives and how they have voted or spoken in the past. Too many times the candidates had one set of rules for others while having another set for us, when their own actions betrayed their own words.

When people criticize those who have affairs and gossip about it around the coolers or our coffee table, it is not all that unusual that they themselves have had affairs or will have in the future.  Many times the idea of the same has been entertained, at least in their minds, and by downgrading others that have had affairs, they often feel safe in the words that they speak. This is true about many other things that we tear apart in others as we too often fear,”But for the Grace of God there go I.”

Many of us can and do find hypocrisy in people who will malign others regardless of the conversation because we do know and understand our own strengths and weaknesses, and find gossip such a waste of the precious time each of us are allotted in life.  I personally am bored by such talk because I want to know you and what is your banner that you promote and stand for, or will fight for, and what it is about you that is special.

Each of us,regardless of what others think about us,will find that we are uniquely an individual that is special in an area of expertise that makes us the way we are.  We will also often discover that much of what made us think we knew better than others, is our weak point.  When we know ourselves we leave behind so much of the waste and the distractions that separates us from the joy,that we feel in knowing we are our own person and much stronger and competent that we believed ourselves to be in some cases and in other cases we find a total humbling experience.

Either way it is in knowing ourselves we will not only do what is best for us but we will also do what is best for everyone else as well.  When our actions match our words we do not tolerate bigots nor do we reject the equal rights of others but instead we become more inclusive of the understanding that we are all working towards the same goals in our lives.  Happiness often comes at a price and if we do not seek it through hard work and honesty of self, we often find that we fail it instead of it failing us.

I wish all of us a clarity of self this Holiday Season because we do know and understand that our limits range from the amount we can afford to spend on gifts to the amount of triggers in us that causes us to be upset by other’s rude behavior and words.  It is not wrong to discover sometimes, that it is time to throw the bums out of our lives, and to embrace the Independence in ourselves that makes all of us strong enough to carry the crosses we are asked to bear.  We must understand at the same time, there are triggers in us that causes bad reactions in others and work towards changing those triggers in ourselves, as well.May we all have a Blessed Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!

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It Is Not About Us

As Congress looks for and finds blame with their insistence that the deficit be balanced on the backs of the middle class,the students,the elderly,and the poor while refusing to look at the role they play by the continuation of the same, there is plenty going on in our lives that is about us.  While Corporations refuse to hire here but instead send jobs overseas to increase the wealth of its board members, it is about us. When we are not educated to meet the demands of the ever-changing market place it is about us. When weather causes havoc and turmoil in our lives, it is about us.  When we lose loved ones and are left to grieve our lost, it is about us. When others who can afford to do so, refuse to carry healthcare and we get stuck with their healthcare costs with increased premiums because Congress wants to eliminate Obama care, it is about us. With so much in our lives that affects us it is sometimes difficult to understand a lot of other things in our lives is not about us,as well.

Many times things happen around us and unless we understand that “it is not about us”, but rather our response to it, that causes us to get involved and often times it leads to our own pain, we will waste way to much precious time in our lives that will keep us from enjoying life. When a couple divorces to often,if we allow them to drag us into their lives by taking sides, we will end up feeling like we are the loser as well.  If it is a special friend and we take sides while the couple separates, it will to often cost us what we feel is a close friend, if the couple decides to reunite.  Even if we do not take sides but try to help the couple to understand each other, many times they will regret what they confided in us and feel uncomfortable around us because they told us to much about themselves, and too often we lose both friendships, even when they divorce.

The above situation had nothing to do with us but it is when we get involved in other people’s problems that it can become about us unless we realize it is they who have lost a valuable friend in us, and we cannot call ourselves a friend unless we do try to help, that we realize it is not about us but instead all about them.

I had an incidence in my life that took place when I won at the Casino and the person I was treating said,”God let me win because He knew I would be more generous and share than she would have been if she won.”  First of all, I do not believe that God had anything to do with my winning nor does He have anything to do with money.  I think people use the idea that God is in control of every facet of our lives to the point that if we even sneeze that God caused us to, instead of the fact that it was an allergy or cold that caused us to sneeze. I choose to believe that God is with those who suffer and give of themselves instead, since He gave us all free will and helps those who helps themselves. If God was responsible for everything in a person’s life then He would have no time left for those who call on Him in time of need.  My winning was not necessary for me to live,eat,breath, or find joy in my life,nor did my gambling cause us any hardship.I was thrilled when the machine hit, just as all of us are when we win.

I won because I went to the casino, without the other person even being in the same State much less the same Casino, I took the risk that gambling involves, and I chose the right machine at the same time it was ready to pay off.  Any person in the Casino could have put the same dollar amount in as I did and won the same jackpot. Our generous spirit may be a gift from God, as He does reward the generous in spirit ten fold, but my winning at the Casino had nothing to do with God nor the person who said I won instead of her.  We to often in our lives look at other people’s success or failure and think that either has anything to do with us.

We may all make mistakes as parents but once our children become adults they also take on the responsibility for their own behavior and if they allow others to mistreat them or they mistreat themselves,we can not help them if they refuse our help. If they become a success,then they deserve the credit over us because, “It is not about us.”  We can be concerned about them or proud of them but ultimately as adults they do decide what road they travel, with or without our approval.

As their parents,we only have control over our own response to our adult children’s actions and can only offer support when they ask us for the same. To force our beliefs on them robs them of the ability to form their own ideas or beliefs or to accept the mixing of their belief system with that of their spouses. Our adult children, and especially once they marry, need to make their own decisions even when we do not approve of it and they refuse to listen to what we often think is sound reasoning. “Sink or swim” our adult children’s behavior,  is no longer about us beyond our own reactions to it.

The sadder part of life is when our own children, who are not adults, emulate that character flaw in us that thinks everything is all about us, by thinking it is their fault when bullies bully them.  Bullies are made at home by over demanding parents in some cases or by neglectful parents in other cases.  If a child feels defenseless against the parent who thinks they are disciplining but instead the parent makes the child feel like they are  being bullied by the parent or a child cannot find reprieve from their own hurt feelings, many times they will bully others who they feel cannot or will not fight back.  When parents tell their children to hit back they help create another bully on the playground.  When teachers punish both children because they fear the parent of the bully or have not seen who is being bullied then to often it can lead to tragedy.

If we could as a Society tell our children that the anger that is unleashed by the bully is “not about them”,but instead about the home the child who bullies comes out of, then we could begin sitting down and discussing our differences with the bully. When Schools refuse to play a role in the discussion when the bullying takes place on their property, they fail the child who is being bullied by expelling them from school for the equal amount of time they expel the bully. When negative behavior is enforced by negative responses we teach our children that the adults in their lives cannot be trusted to do the right thing.

I had a case,myself, where I thought it might be possible to have an adult conversation with the parent of the bully, but instead the parent went into name calling and telling me it was not her problem when the child I was speaking about did not haul off and hit her daughter back.  It was not about us, but the children that needed to be heard, and it was lost on the mother of the bully.  Teachers run into this same attitude of these same parents, when they do show up but many times it is the concerned parents who show up instead.

We parents first, need to understand that there are people who are going to try to control the circumstances in their own lives by controlling those around them and it has nothing to do with us, unless we demand zero tolerance of bullies in our own homes,schools, or environment and do something about it instead of obsessing over it.  When we make everything about us, and then do nothing but complain we teach our children the same. When worry or inaction is viewed from the seat of children, they learn to tolerate what we have tolerated for to many generations,as being normal behavior. If schools,businesses, or we do not punish small children who bully,or permanently expel people who play on our fear or lack of action, then we all tolerate the bullies and it does become about us. Our children learn nothing through fists or violence but to be violent in return.

Just as there are kind-hearted people, there are mean-spirited people as well. Both types of people will co-mingle in almost any kind of group.  It has been my experience that a majority of men will just consider the source of an insult when issued by a woman, but some will fight it out when it comes from a man.  Not many people look at a fist fight as much of anything other than plain stupidity, so why do we tell our children to do the same?  If we ourselves cannot treat the person as having their own problems and know they treat everyone else the same way, then how can we tell our own children that, “It is not about us, if we do nothing to protect them when we do have supervision over them?”

I ask everyone this Holiday Season to consider what I am saying.  Store policy is not about us but about others who do shop lift or steal.  We may pay for their theft but if we feel that the questions being asked are about us, instead of policy, too often tempers will flare and our children are watching our own performance.  The same is true when someone is rude enough to cut in line; for us to allow someone else to spoil the experience of the Holiday shopping, when,” it is not about us” because we lose sight of the fact,that angry words will never make it right, but instead is a negative response from us who only adds to the chaos, then we understand what our own response does to inflame the problem.  Two wrongs never does make a right.  As Bill Clinton said,”it’s about the math.”

We need to spend more time thinking and communicating civilly if we are going to succeed as a Nation,as parents, or as the person we most want to spend time with during the Holiday Season.  If we ourselves are filled with anger that is spreading all around us,if we are rude to others, if we have a need to control, if we take a bad day out on others around us, if we are mean-spirited, then it is about us.

If we are none of those things, “Then It Is Not About Us.” When we understand the reality of another person’s bad behavior “is not about us”, we refuse to let their bad dispositions destroy our own joy.  If we insist on the opposite, then we are making our feelings dependent on their negative feelings which they are responsible for, and  as adults who said or did nothing to harm them, we are not responsible for their lack of respect.  Everyone will have a bad day but everyone is not entitled to ruin our day unless we give them permission to do so.

Have a good day everyone and enjoy the responses in yourself that you create ,that ARE about you, and let the other things that you allow to destroy your day go. The majority of harm that is done to us as individuals are many times as a result of our own reactions to life and is often created by our reactions to a disagreeable human being, who has their own issues to deal with, without our taking their negativity to heart. Enjoy the Holidays and celebrate!

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Family Gathering For Thanksgiving

I am not writing this post for those of you who are suffering or have done without this Thanksgiving, because if you have been suffering for a while now, most of you are already grateful for the significant things in life, such as food on the table or life itself.  Others may be grateful for electricity being restored or for the Insurance adjuster showing up.  It has been a matter of fact for years now, that the more mankind suffers, the more likely we are to be grateful for the things that others take for granted.

I write this instead for those who are gathering for Thanksgiving and dreading the moment.  There are families who all have that one person, if not two or three, who feel it their yearly obligation.” to rain on our parades.”  We all know them, they will say things like,”Why can’t Mary find a man?”; “Will Johnny ever get a decent job?;”or “Whats wrong with you anyway that you can’t be more like your Saintly sister?; “You know what your brother said about you?”; “I don’t know how your husband or wife can stand you or just the opposite I don’t know how you can stand your husband or wife,”  or why are you so fat when your brothers and sisters aren’t?” Anything they can find to ridicule us about and then sit and laugh about it when they do insult us or hurt our feelings, like it is some kind of a fabulous joke. If they can’t show their own resentment in life, through turning us against the family, then they will turn the family against us.

When they are not making comparisons with one of us on the losing side of what they think is acceptable behavior in us, then they are putting their leg on a chair so no one can miss the fact that their arthritis is acting up in their knee or they belabor their suffering in  great detail.  There will be others who suggest that we can make a better broth or gravy if we just add such and such to it while others insist on carrying a conversation with us through the walls of a different room, while complaining that they cannot hear us, while we are trying to time the turkey coming out with the dinner rolls being finished.  Others will complain about it being too hot while others complain about it being two cold. These same people will be the last to even notice that we are caring for a sick child or suffering from the end results of the flu, while we try to put on a brave front so we do not spoil our own family’s Thanksgiving.

Speaking from someone who swore each year that I was not going to go through another Holiday where the person involved in ALL of the above behaviors could ruin it for my family, it took years before I found the courage to tell her that we would be spending the holiday without her.  Since there were 4 other children in 4 different States who could have paid her expenses and asked her for the Holidays but refused to, I had to learn to ignore the criticism and bear it, until it reached the point the only other one of her children who would take a turn ,decided to match the bullying techniques move by move, and then I washed my hands of it completely.

It is not easy to enjoy the Holidays with a mother only 4 blocks away and alone.  I was greatly criticized by those who refused to give me a break by taking our mother in my place, and by others who knew a different person from the one both myself and my family knew. There does come a day in all of our lives that we must reach our own decisions on our own priorities.  When we had honor rolls, graduations from not just highschool but college and grad school as well as engagements and marriage plans, there did come a time that as a grateful family, we did have the right to celebrate without the center of attention going to my mother who gains attention with continued hurtful or negative comments.

If you find that someone is ruining your Holidays, I do hope you take the time to understand their suffering and give them the attention that they crave,but I also want you to know when the negatives in your family is denying the other family members from giving thanks and celebrating the joys of the family, perhaps it is time to reverse your course or to ask,” what are the priorities of your loved ones?”

Respect walks a two-way street beginning with respecting our own needs as well as the needs of those who depend on us.  For those who can deal with both, despite the abusive grumbling of spouses,mothers and bitchy fathers,jealous siblings,ungrateful children,complaining Aunts and Uncles or Grandparents, I congratulate you on your strength and forbearance.  I hung in for 35 years out of my own sense of duty to my mother, but with growing health problems, myself, it was time to eliminate the negativity in order to enjoy the positive in our lives.

I know other people who deliberately make a habit of working the Holidays,or  leaving for better weather, Vegas or the Beach, in order to avoid having to confront the issues of family.  Others will go ahead and put up with it and then make their friends lives miserable for a month in both the dreading of it before the Holidays and the hurt of it when they leave.  The Holidays can be stressful, because as much as many of us look forward to them there are many others who go into a depression that spreads through the family because they are hanging onto a time in their child hood or life when they felt deprived.

Others will lose loved ones on the Holiday and we do understand that they grieve, as a result of it.  What I am describing here are those who feel that even though they got cheated in life, they are the experts over the entire family, and will not rest until they feel they get the upper hand even though they contribute nothing other than the complaints that brings all of the rest of us down.

We all hear how elderly parents are left to spend the Holidays alone by ungrateful children but never do we hear that parents are left to spend Holidays alone because they themselves have established a record of being ungrateful for those of us who do make the effort to include them until they themselves wear out their welcome.

Many times these same people will become the favorites of strangers or the nursing staff and then treat their own children like they are beneath them because they refused to believe as they were told to believe,accept the faith of their parents,loved someone their parents forbade them to love, or did not become the person the parent thought they should become.  The parent was continually ashamed or embarrassed by their own children’s appearance or the way they dressed. At the same token some parents had reason for concern, when the adult child’s behavior was out of control or they were too willing to accept abuse,themselves.  There are any number of ways beside ungrateful children, as to why family members do end up alone on Holidays.

I welcome the idea that mankind is one family and when our own blood family drives us away with their own behavior that they do find a friend or care giver that befriends them when we ourselves cannot.  I think I speak for many this Holiday Season when I say that we are very grateful that our loved one’s have you in their lives.  We do love them, despite the fact that when we try to love them, they themselves drive us away with their words and behavior against us.

Those of you who think  I am talking about simple cantankerous relatives who are suffering, and it is the same that you welcome into your lives, all I can say for the rest of us is,”NO They Are Not! Not all of us are as fortunate as to have family members who are any different at 70 than they were at 30 or at 3, and there in lies the difference. We grow old as we grew young while some wounds are never allowed to scar or heal by those who spend a lifetime taking out their hurt on those of us who are the closest to them, while they refuse to get the help we offer them. Many times you instead can be the catharsis to them that we cannot be, and as a result we remain grateful to you, a total stranger.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and remember to be grateful for all of those who we too often take for granted and love each other. The less said the better Thanksgiving will be for all of us, if the only thing that crosses our minds has criticism attached to it, just because we may think it is constructive criticism, it has no place at the dinner table, now or ever.  Perhaps constructive criticism does exist on a job where an employee struggles to learn the same, but criticism in a family is criticism.

If we can not treat family members with the human dignity of respect how can we teach our own children or grandchildren to give respect and to demand the same respect, in their own lives? If discussing our differences becomes as lop-sided as the lack of respect shown, then we need to make decisions in the best interests of those who do care about us and who depend on us. We cannot expect others to defend us if we refuse to defend our own right to be treated with human dignity. As adults if we cannot discuss our differences without demeaning ourselves or others, then it is time to consider another recourse.  If we do not like receiving criticism ourself, then we must learn to be adults and not give it, as what goes around will come around. If you are traveling have a safe trip and God Bless us all!

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What Causes People to Hate?

Hate comes from an inner turmoil within the thoughts of an individual and can commonly rise to the level of anger that explodes out of control in individuals or groups. What may begin as a neighborhood dispute between two people can end up becoming a neighborhood dispute involving the entire block if people begin taking sides. The same thing often happens in families with everyone being forced into taking sides, when any issues should remain between the two individuals to work out together.

We often find the similar thing happening in divorce cases where each of the members try to convince their friends, and sometimes their children who were the victims in a marriage, while an over-whelming amount of the time the divorce couples themselves divide the loyalty of their friends or their children’s affections. Too often because the real abusers in the relationship are often charismatic by nature, people will side with the abuser over the victims; Even when marriages remain intact children will often side with the abuser since they are so starved for affection from the parent who abuses they can be manipulated by the abuser who often with holds affection or pays them off with praises or money. Hate can arise from extreme dislike of ourselves and others.  Hate arises from:oppression,fear, envy,greed,ignorance,jealously or any number of negative feelings that arises from an individual person and can spread from that individual through a group.

In organizations,gangs,or groups that demand membership surrenders its own ability to think for themselves to the leaders of these groups, hate can spread through intimidation,brain washing techniques or come from a person who longs to be accepted.  Because these groups often seek out  individuals who feel that they have been disrespected by others all their lives, to join their group or gangs hate spreads through ignorance. When the majority of membership when left on their own really would have nothing against the groups they are trained to hate, they are taken advantage by the leadership that works them into a frenzy of hate.  What often comes out of these groups is the by-product of hate against people that they have absolutely no rational reason to dislike,much less hate.

Rarely if ever is hate based on rational feeling. Greed is involved in gang wars that kill over drug territory for instance.  People get killed without even having so much as discussed their differences with the ones they kill. Many times people who have no knowledge of the beliefs of the Hindu or Muslim Religions will hate entire groups who practice their religious belief.  We find irrational hate against both Religions because a radical, Osama Bin Laden,outside of the beliefs of Muslim Faith, attacked us on 9/11.  The Hindu Religious group in Milwaukee was attacked out of the same ignorance of what appears to be a deranged individual.  Many times people are harassed or attacked for nothing more than skin color while it is supported by law in States like Arizona.

We can hate the spread of hate and we can insist our leaders stop hate but unless mankind educates themselves to understand their own irrational fears or learns to  control  negative feelings, hate can spread like a wildfire and has been a part of history since the beginning  of human existence.

The Middle East has been at war between Religious sects that vary in their beliefs and who view the other as their enemy since 76 AD. Children are taught at a very young age there, just as they are here, who they should hate. Hate is not just a product of America but it spreads around the World with apartheid in Africa and Dictatorship in Cuba.  A mistrust always lays as the basis of hate.

When we have groups like the NRA,The White Supremacy,The Skin heads, 330 Militia Groups Of the Tea Party, gaining support in the Republican Party due to the growth of the Tea Party within its membership, then we see acceptance of hate when it should not be tolerated by government. Some believe there is a  total of 1000  hate groups currently in America.  They range from the radical of animal rights to the anarchists that often are sent to protests in our Streets from across the Canadian border. In these groups we  find the leaders working the members into a feeding frenzy of hate while telling those who already feel disenfranchised from America’s Social fabric, that they are being victimized.  When  hate is spoken about and bandied about combined with drinking cases of beer,hate often begins in one individual and spreads through an entire group of people.

Other times hate is spread against the gay community in Churches with preaching of the Bible verses against the gay population. A huge sector of the internet and social media will spread lies against the innocent or tell half-truths to try to turn people to their cause through hate. Members of hate groups will send out their hate propaganda to friends through email.  Many times gossips will do the same in offices or small communities or neighborhoods. The Conservative Republican legislature refuses to even recognize the gay community as existing, as they claim they have not been recognized by law. In many cases the Bible that was intended to be a guide to lead mankind out of hate and a guide to lead us instead into acceptance of each other, gets misused by Churches and is used instead to stir up hate against groups that they profess to be marked for, “Hell and Damnation.”

The only way any of us can stop the spread of hate is through education and acceptance of all of us.  When we have the very groups who should be helping to educate people against hate responsible for helping spread hate, then it often takes the citizenry to educate those who hate one at a time.  Even when we do we still will find that students who feel like outcasts,those who feel they are superior even though they are often times filled with fear of inadequacy themselves, and workers who get laid off will still be a threat to Society because of the irrational thinking that explodes in the individual who seeks out revenge through hate.

As a Nation we need to recognize the compassion that we have and to do a better job of dealing with the treatment of the mentally ill. Too many even in the medical profession, refuse to promote real and comprehensive reform in healthcare for those who suffer from mental illness because too many times their hands are tied due to Insurance Companies refusal to carry mental patients long-term.  Churches need to take another look at the way they handle the gay issue and abortion and be ever cognizant of those in their own midst that will use either as an excuse to be a hero in the eyes of the Church, by gong on a killing rampage.

As a Nation we need to enforce hate crimes while not enforcing them to the point that they infringe on our rights to freedom of Speech, and that is such a delicate line to cross, that often times law enforcement is damn if they do and damn if they don’t. We need to better educate people in the different religious beliefs and the history of the races without parents yelling Fowl.  We need to teach respect for all people and religions in America but too often when civil rights leaders attempt to do this they are ridiculed and derided for infringing on the rights of white  Americans.  We need to start educating and not stop even while the far right continues to fight against education.

With the younger generations coming up and making friends with people of different beliefs and skin colors we always look for hope in them teaching acceptance and educating the adults to become more tolerate but too many times schools produce the worse kind of hate because the parents accuse the teachers for promoting unity amongst their students, when the parents do not want their children co-mingling due to their own hate issues. Other times parents themselves are so desperate to have their children accepted and popular that they deliberately encourage feelings of superiority in their children when the children themselves feel an inferiority. Some children, who form cliques and are held together by hate, will spread it through phone calls or the internet when they are intimidated by the group to do so if they wish to remain a part of the group.

Due to the mixed emotions  we parents too many times instill in our own children,  groups often form in schools that learn to either co-exists or it leads to disenfranchising a whole group of children because they are not a part of the “cool group” or “one of us.” To often parents create the hate that surfaces in their own children.  This mentality exists in the parents just as bullies are a product of home environment and are a by-product of hate.

The long and short of hate is that it is very complicated and comes from all directions. Even if we could make laws to counter act hate we would have protests from another group that their rights were being infringed on.  The best solution of all is when”We The People” hear words of hate from our children or their friends we take the time to educate our children and support both our Schools and Church leaders in doing the same.  We need to be the leaders against intolerance in our own homes,neighborhoods, schools, and Churches without passing the buck onto another day or another time.  If it is going on in our schools and Churches ,then we the membership, must stand up against it by demanding that the spread of hate stops and is replaced instead by understanding our differences and acceptance of all Americans as equals.

It often only takes one of us speaking out to turn hate into acceptance in our own neighborhoods, one block at a time. We need to get started making a difference now.  Our Republican Congressmen and  Senators need to quit making excuses and start making comprehensive laws of acceptance of Native Americans, the gay population, and Hispanics that grant them rights. The Republican Senate who has filibustered it, can now rethink their previous objections, by passing the Violence Against Women Act that includes Native Americans, the gay populations and Hispanics.

Anyone who has hate issues themselves needs to get help before you help raise the next generation of people made miserable by their own intolerance and feelings of hate. One thing people who hate never find is joy or contentment.  To think that our child or grandchild will never be happy but instead only hate should spring all of us into action by stopping the spread of hate each time we hear it. The media are easy to deal with as all we need to do is switch stations or turn them off, when they spread their hate. ”We The People”, are not so easy to deal with, so we need to get started and lead by example for the next generations coming up, so they never hear the hate that we have heard escalating and spreading these last four years. The voters have spoken.  God Bless all of us!

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Sorry, But Adults Returning Home Is Lame

I am going to venture off of politics today and make myself very unpopular with some of all of the generations, as I am going to tell you exactly what your returning home to your parents home as adults, is doing to both you and your parents self esteem. This is something that neither your parents or your friends who also live at home, will be honest enough to tell you but what both your friends who are independent enough to move out talk about as well as your parents discuss with their confidants usually over that mixed drink or glass of wine.

Time magazine published an article entitled , “Living At Home Is Not Lame But Awesome”. Clearly this was written to bolster the ego of the millions of 25 to 30 year old adults who are living at home with their parents. No parent on earth, if they want to inspire and reassure their children will be honest enough to tell you that in your own selfishness and due to your own lack of independence and ambition you are draining them of their own self esteem as well as the money they would otherwise be able to save towards their own retirement.

In cases where parents doubt their own parenting skills and if they did enough to teach you to be independent to want to stand on your own two feet, they will welcome you back home. In cases where the parents refuse to let go of control and make your life their focal point over getting a life of their own, they will welcome you back home. In cases where parents admit to themselves, if no one else, “You couldn’t “wipe your butt” without them, they will welcome you home. In cases where your parents are lonely because they do not want to spread their own wings far enough to enjoy their own independence or freedom, they will welcome you home.

In cases where they refuse to acknowledge that all adult children need to learn the lesson of what going hungry will teach them towards developing independence and ingenuity, they will welcome you home. In cases where you are draining them dry financially because of your refusal to take responsibility for your own finances and they can see where it will save them money if you move home, they will welcome you home.

In cases where you have a drug habit and lack total drive to get a job and they are afraid that you will be on the street, they will welcome you home. The list goes on in how you are relieving your stress towards passing your responsibility onto the shoulders of your parents and at the sake of adding to your parents stress because you moved back home. Most parents will not acknowledge this fact to themselves, much less to you, as to do so will brand them a failure as a parent. If you are feeling like less of a failure because you are living at home as a adult, then ask yourself,”Who is it that absorbs my feeling like a failure for me?”

The statistics now show that adult children who earn a bachelor degree are getting employment. As a matter of fact unemployment for those who have a bachelor degree now stands at a low of 4.2% with an over all 5.5% being the National average of unemployment during a booming economy.

It may not be that job that will pay off the massive debt you occurred because you refused to hold down a job while attending college. You may have to work another job as well, in order to now pay back the piper. You may have to have more roomates because the rents have increased, sometimes unfairly.The truth is that those who are independent and able to find employment and do understand that their lifestyle will not be the same as they got accustomed to while living with Mom and Dad, are getting jobs either in the Continental United States or across the Ocean.

If you are not doing so well it is because it is clear, if not to you and your parents but to future employers, you lack the skill and ability to take on the necessary hours and ambition that the job that you really think you are qualified for will entail, in many cases.

How you paid your bills, what kind of ambition did you show while a student, what was your social life like, did you make a general nuisance of yourself or did you show a strike of independence and inventiveness, were you willing to explore possibilities that showed real ingenuity, what kind of credit rating did you maintain, did you take responsibility for your own mistakes,rents,appearance, punch the time card on time, or did you just borrow more in student loans over working part time, etc? These are all questions that will find answers by future employers before you are hired by them. College
is not simply a training ground for grades but also the type of person that you are capable of showing everyone, you are.

The high rate of unemployment as well as the economy is having a much harsher effect on the the highschool graduates who did not get the opportunity to go on to earn their bachelor degree. It also includes the massive lay offs done by Corporations to the 50 plus age of workers, who will not be hired back, and have to re-invent themselves and thier futures. Too many young adults who really do want to have their parents home from 9 to 5 to entertan their friends, while their parents work away from home and stress out over their adult childrens’ responsibilities are taking advantage of the situation and instead begrudging those who are on their own, the idea that those who do work a job they would not ever take, as being losers.

Its time to get real.Corporations are not going to hire every College graduate who does not show a willingness to stand on their own two feet without having to have their hands held. The reality that it is tough to have to stand on our own and eat Ramen Noodles after getting out of college and while earning a job, has not changed that much for a college graduate. That has always been pretty much the norm,but that degree will open the door so that a young person with drive and ambition who is sometimes willing to travel, can begin a sucessful future has not changed.

Attitudes, lack of responsibility and a dwiddling salary while rents continue to go up is a difficulty of todays graduates that do require inspiration and sometimes groups of friends or aquaintances who will sometimes need to combine incomes in order for you to
accomplish and to defeat your excuses as to why you can not move out of your parents homes; it is your reality to be dealt with. Rarely do any of us or have any of us gotten to choose the reality of the circumstances facing us when we did get the degree and graduated from College. Our generations and generations before faced the draft and going to war. Other generations faced great depression and the “dirty thirties.” Every generation has unique problems that we must all deal with as the adults that we are through establishing our own answers through becoming the adult that adds to and contributes to the economy we form for ourselves and future generations without making it the problem of Mom and Dad.

The answer to simply avoid it so that you can return to being the child of Mr. and Mrs. again may feel temporilly satisfying,but in the long run it will always defeat your own goals the longer you stay, as well as the goals that your parents had for you. As I have written before, “Excuses Are For 6 Year Olds.” Maturity that goes along with adulthood, means standing on our own and providing for our own needs, and that never changes. Sometimes we do have to “bust our chops” and go without to make it happen but I assure both you and your parents that the rewards of doing so are all worth it.

Sometimes we have to be humbled before we do earn our own success. We can’t count on Corporations and Companies to come to us with the offers when too many see the the bottom line as a profit margin to increase the wealth of the Board of Directors and no longer offer support or give loyalty to the worker. Too many aged 50 plus workers have had to learn that the hard way over the last 25 years. Many of us have been there and done that, and that is why I write this for you. Your success begins today with you.

Good Luck and when you arrive, never forget those who helped you become the success you knew you could be. The person you were when you moved home and thought it was awesome and those who hindered you with excuses as well as yourself, won’t be there when success does happen and that is a guarantee that most of us who did realize the American dream will give you. It may be the only guarantee that any of us ever have or do get. We make our own success or failure beginning with our own attitudes and dedication to the reality of the situation we are in and the character of the people we work for, because they are willing to pay us for an honest days work. They still exist but many times we need to earn our own way before we find them.

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The Conservative Need to Control

In Griswold vs. Connecticut the Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that the use of contraceptives could not be prohibited by any State and that is was a private matter protected by the clause in the 14th Amendment. The use of contraceptives is a personal decision granted to American citizens.

In Roe vs. Wade, the Supreme Court made it clear that abortion is a personal decision and a woman’s right and should be made between a woman and her Doctor.

The Conservative movement in America is screaming about Government being in the bedroom but in truth it is they who have filed case after case with Conservative judges to the point that the number of cases in the Court system are backlogged when it comes to their attempts to control sex and birth control in America. They are spending today and tomorrow at their annual meeting to firm up their decision to who can best control us as a Nation.

The Conservatives constant interference into the private rights of American citizens should be a concern to all of us, as it boils down to a bunch of white males or “Good Old Boys” and 33% of the American population, who have become so involved into denying the private rights of American citizens, to the point they have lost all touch with reality in most cases.

Their lack of respect for the Constitution and Supreme Court that grants the private rights of women and gays has made them totally disrespectful towards both. They are telling both women and gays that we do not have a right to enjoy the freedom granted us by law and under the Constitution of America. In their back rooms they practice bigotry and hate towards other nationalities and beliefs, in the most bigoted manner, while they deny that prejudice exist in America.

It is this hate in them along with their obsession over the sexual act itself that is destroying the Democracy that we all have a right to enjoy. All four candidates running on the Republican ticket are leaning so far right as to curry the favor of the Conservatives to the point they are making a mockery out of our Constitution and the Supreme Court that was given the clear power to grant us the rights of Freedom to choose for ourselves.

When a couple of Catholic Bishops complained that Religious rights had never been so stepped on by President OBama it was nothing more than the same old smoke screen thrown up every time that the Christian Churches in America become concerned that their right to control women is slipping.

Since 98% of sexually active Catholics use birth control and since the Church cannot force them to not use it, they are trying to force government to ban all contraception used by women, and in the process, deny all women their Constitutional right to their own health issues.

It is Religion interfering into government while President OBama is insisting that women’s healthcare needs are as important as men’s. In Griswold vs. Connecticut it is specifically spelled out that no State under the 14th amendment can deny women the coverage of insurance for contraception.

Since our forefathers clearly formed the Constitution making both separation of Church and State law as well as the decisions of the Supreme Court the last law of the land including over Religion, then it is religion that is transgressing over the law of separation of Church and State in their efforts to force government to abide by their teachings.

Pro choice is not pro abortion but instead the choice of women to determine their own health issues. The Churches promote the label of pro-choice being pro abortion when it is instead the right of women to ensure The Equal Rights Amendment that guarantees women the right to make decisions on their own bodies and health issues. It is not only abortion that the Churches are fighting against as it is the use of all contraception by women, through forcing the government to do what they cannot do in their own Churches, they are clearly trying to usurp the authority of our Constitution and Supreme Court decisions.

We experienced the same thing with labeling by the Conservative attacks against the liberals during the McGovern years. Since then the word Liberal or Progressive has been held in the same position and demonized as a product of Satan, amongst the Conservatives; To think that in the year 2012,anyone who wanted to advance the cause of women, gays and minorities would be branded as sinner and destructive towards Religious rights, blows the minds of most free thinking and rational people.

I have already reported 28 States have already made in mandatory that Religious Institutions provide contraception for women. The largest Catholic University in America. Depaul University, along with numberous other Catholic Hospitals and Universities have always provided for contraception.

In their efforts to defeat President OBama and swing the vote back to their candidate of choice, Rick Santorum, they threw  up a smoke screen to win and control the elections in the swing States and called out the Evangelicals to assist, and it worked for them. The truth is they do not like Mitt Romney as they think that the Mormon Religion is a cult and not a member of Christianity. Personally, I believe he is every bit as destructive to our right to be free as all the other candidates, as he too claims to do away with contraception. It is banned already in the Mormon Church.

If we have ever been raised Christian then we all know that we are born with an automatic defense system to protect the Church. That is because we are brain washed into believing from almost “day one” that the Church has always been under attack since the day of Christ. We take a Sacrament to protect the Church in some cases, so we become defensive anytime we hear anyone speak against it, even when others know what is being said is nothing more than the simple truth. they have come to rely on that when shoving their candidate of choice onto the American voters.

This is true in most other religions as well. Christianity survived because of the women after Christ death and Resurrection and it was the women of the Church who gave alms to the poor and established much of what would draw Pagans to the Christian Church. that has been lost in the teachings of too many, today.

The need to control women and gays has never been greater than what it is today, across America,by the Conservatives to the point it has reached the point of a sick obsession. Rick Santorum would convince all Americans that the 40% of Americans who are single or from single family homes, are all nothing but losers, and therefore not worthy of the Constitutional rights of the perfect family that consist of both Mom and Dad in a home where the couple are married.

When a candidate like Rick Santorum is their candidate of choice in the year 2012, we can begin to worry until we realize that worry is not necessary when we realize that we are rational and aware. If he is President he has said he will ban the use of all contraception because the libertine movement of women and the use of contraception is just plain wrong. How he plans on doing that with the Supreme Court being the last law of the land, he does not say.

Rick Santorum has also said that gay sex is not same person sex but man on dog sex. He like Michelle Bachman, another Tea Party favorite, would point missiles towards Iran without the use of sanctions or diplomacy. He claims that President OBama is protecting Iran to attack Israel. Clearly this man does not plan to lead by putting the Equality of Americans, truth, or common sense, above his own bigoted views of hate. We are looking at a very disturbed mind indeed, and the people who would vote for such a person are equally disturbed, in my estimation.

Although the polls show that these same 33% of women oppose the use of contraception the other 58% of women believe it to be our own personal right, since it is, and has been established in the Supreme Court. The great majority of us would like to think that if we were being denied our rights of equality we would make certain that the person trying to deny us the same would not be the person we would elect to office of the President.

This seems to go right over the head of some women when they are told to vote their conscience. Unless we have been brainwashed ourself, we cannot possibly understand why women do constantly vote against their own best interests and for inequality, without being made to feel guilty when they do get the courage to do the right thing for all Americans, and demand their own God-given as well as State given right to free will and equality.

It flys into the face of all of us who use our brains to rationalize, that Trump would promote the Birther Belief that these 33% of our population still cling to, when they firmly believe that President Barack OBama is a Muslim and not a citizen of the United States. That is until we realize that Trump is the Master of Paper Capitalism, that got our economy into the mess it is in. Without backing the Birther belief, he stands to lose the Republican support of getting banks to loan him money without collateral or assets to back it. This 33% are being held hostage by the greedy in the Conservative Party, from this brainwashing, to the point that they are trying to remove President OBama’s name from their election ballots in Georgia.

The Republican Party, is being controlled by the Conservatives and Tea Party, and are doing their best to destroy the Democracy that has always made us Great. They believe that their own personal need to control humanity is more recognizable and entitled, than the right granted each of us under the Constitution and the Supreme court.They will not be stopped until they appoint their own judges that will deny all minorities, gays and women equality in America, while promoting their causes.

The Conservative Party, joined by the Tea Party, within the Republican Party in America today,is nothing more than a bunch of Rednecks and Bullies in Suits, who plan to keep their woman in place. The Republicans are arrogant enough to think they, not the working poor or the middle class, have the right to keep us subjugated to them, through lowering our standards of living and denying us both the Unions that protect our wages and working conditions, while they eliminate the Government Departments that protect our rights and offer us jobs.

The Conservatives can be likened to a bunch of people who go out and eat an expensive meal which they may pay $300.00 a person for, and then come home and try to deny the baby sitter the $10.00 that she has earned by giving her $6.50 instead. They feel that they are the entitled amongst us and therefore they have a right to deny the rest of us our just due.

They have taken their religious convictions into the political arena to the point their real and only political zeal in to deny the rest of us both our God-given rights as well as our State given rights. When we are told it is a matter of conscience, what they really mean, it is a matter of conscience as long as we agree with their interpretation of the same. When we don’t, they will do everything in their power to pass laws and to block us from the equality that is our right to own.

Since the Conservative base only makes up a third of our Nation,but they have to throw up more smoke screens to upset us as a Nation and use their politicians, such as Boehner to yell louder about the injustices of President Obama against Religious rights, while they block legislation to improve the lives of small businesses, the working poor, and the middle class. The Republican Party itself has grown to 70% of Conservatives, in the last 10 years and that explains the ruination of the Republican Party to get any agreement on anything.

All this hate is to convince Americans the Conservatives and Tea Party base, are the moral majority with the right to control the lives of the rest of us. Sadly, they instead are promoting hate through their sick obsession to control the human race on their terms, and by denying all of us both our God given as well as our State given rights to free will and the pursuit of happiness, while calling President OBama dangerous.

It is time we stop all the upset and drama being created by the Conservatives and Tea Party, so we can get back to solving the problems that our wounded Nation needs us to do, by electing those Democrats who will work for us, and with our President that we elect. Make sure before you do that you check their voting record out, as 20% of the Democratic Party are Conservative, as well as, a few lean so left that they create stunned growth as well.

We Americans always have been and always will be the strongest, without these Redneck Bullies trying to control our lives and destroying our freedoms. We need to eliminate their little band of thugs, at the election polls in November.

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Why Truth In The White House Matters

As horrendous as the two main candidates for the Republican Party primaries are acting in Florida, as they bounce back and forth about who the biggest liar is between Mitt or Newt there are legitimate claims coming from the mouths of both.

The only reason that Newt Gingrich did not leave the Speaker’s position in shame is because if we listen to Newt justify his shameful behavior in his marriages it becomes apparent that Newt is not capable of being shamed. While he acts repentant on one platform he brags about how he is more normal because of his poor behavior in another agenda. Newt realized that he did not have the support or caucus group that would swing behind him so that he could win the Speaker of the House, so on his way out instead of bowing out gracefully, in total Newt Gingrich behavior, he called his own Republican Party a bunch of cannibals.

The same is true about Mitt Romney. He did not leave as governor of Massachusetts because his job was done. He left because jobs in Massachusetts fell to the lowest they had ever been and left Massachusetts the 47th State in the Nation for jobs gained as versus the losts that were incurred, by the time Mitt was done doing the job in Massachusetts that he claims he had finished.

57% of the Massachusetts’ voters did not want Mitt back. By the time we subtract out the undecideds it did not leave much support left for Mitt to run again. He has run as pro-choice. He did support Democrat Tsongas against the Republican candidate in the primaries,(when he lost to Bill Clinton then Mitt switched to the Republican candidate),not all of his investments are in a blind trust,Mitt has been unemployed for 10 years and campaigning for 4 years, and I think it is safe to say that every time he opens his mouth he lies. The man simply appears to be unable to tell the truth.

Mitt’s Super Pac which is being paid for by the Mormon Church and friends, has already spent over 30 million dollars in just 4 States and they are coming to our town to infiltrate and poison our airways. Is this the way that any of us really want our Presidents elected or are they even representative of what any of us really want or stand for. Both have a record of me first and only, and it is clearly showing up in the way they are conducting themselves. This should matter a whole lot more than trying to defeat our President Barack OBama, out of hate, when he and the Democrats are slowly,without the support of Congress, bringing America back to the Country we want it to be.

The only person who is speaking on any of the issues that matter to all of us is President Barack OBama. He has been trying to drill that into the heads of a Congress who wants to go back to what Bush started for 3 years now. All the Republicans are saying is, “all we care about is getting rid or Barack OBama,” to the point they have the same dedication drilled into the heads of the people who will elect either,Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich, even though both are acting like 6 year olds on a playground.

Truth does matter in the White House and it will never exist in either Mitt or Newt because we are not seeing it in either of them while they campaign against each other or when they campaign against President OBama.

The sad thing, are the number of voters who acknowledge that they know the Republican candidates are lying and do not have their best interest at heart, but will vote for them anyway because their hate for Barack OBama, is greater than voting for the person who will represent the truth in the middle class. These same people will complain the loudest when they do realize they voted for the person who could tell the biggest lies, and not once take a good look at themselves for why their hate against our President, who is working for us, was greater than voting for what was best for all Americans.

The last thing that the Republicans want the voters to know is that the economy is recovering without them, so who ever wins the Republican primaries, simply will lie even more when they are up against the President. The Democratic Party has vaults filled with information on both Republican candidates as well as facts on a recovering economy to back up the President. All President OBama will need to do is to continue talking about the issues that matter to us while his Super Pacs tell the truth on who ever does win the Republican primaries.

When we get both facts and truth combined together in President OBama, we get the man who the majority will want in the White House, instead of the man who will be chosen in the Republican Party for reasons of hate,only.

The most powerful Man in the World, is the President of the United States of America, and if “We the People” know that the Republican candidates who would wish to be President are all lying and therefore can’t be trusted while fighting like children in the Republican primary run, so will those who have to negotiate in strategic matters throughout the World, also know they are lying and cannot be trusted, to not hide behind their own personal agendas if they ever take office.

The truth should and does matter, not just in the White House but in all of our lives. It is about respect for the office and Trust in the President who takes office both at home and throughout the world, and when we find that severely missing in all the serious Republican candidates, who would want to hold the Office of President, as well as those who hate, We find ourselves left with the man who is working for us and that is Barack OBama. Common sense will win out in November along with the truth.

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