Releasing Ourselves From Guilt

In my last post entitled,”Guilt–A Heavy Burden To Carry,”I spoke about human frailties and “beating ourselves up over our behavior”. In explanation of what I meant, I offer this example: If we place a dog in a cage and keep poking it with a stick, when he does get free and bites us, isn’t it our behavior that leads to the attack? In many cases we are and will be provoked into reacting or acting in a way that we are not always proud of, and to carry guilt for years under these circumstances, that ultimately leads to the lessening of our own joy, as well as, those who depend on us or love us in life, is ludicrous.

We can go another step farther in this understanding: Once we do become an adult(age 17 to 18 if we leave home and 21 if we remain at home, in most States) and we allow another adult to control,intimidate, or manipulate our thoughts,conversation, and behavior, we are equally at fault. We are no less culpable, under these circumstances, than if we were poking them with a stick, as well. I exclude the criminal element in this post and any statement throughout. I have advocated for tougher laws against rape without time expiration, so children can face their abusers as adults, for years. We are All victims of crime regardless of age. We have no blame nor should we blame ourselves when it comes to crime and being victimized.

Equality of all adult human beings and human rights are entitlements of all Americans and equality of the races and genders, is not in the hands of any of us to control or to contain,other than ourselves when it pertains to our own lives and adult relationships unless we are victimized by crime. When the behavior becomes abusive it is illegal behavior (as it is with all children below 17 to 18). All ministers,Rabiies,Priest,Social Services personnel,medical personnel,firemen,schools, government employees, and policemen have a legal duty to report abuse of all ages. As an adult American, no person can abuse us,without our permission and without facing criminal charges. All children under 17 to 18 are automatically victims of abuse because they do not have the ability to give or with hold consent.

Just as too many people burden themselves with guilt, an equally large of a number, will excuse themselves from taking responsibility for their own failure to behave, appropriately, and too often it does lead to our own or others’ suffering. People who have thoughts of hate,revenge, or any negative emotions are not listening to their conscience but instead have chosen to shut out their conscience in favor of finding or passing blame and excuses. Why is it so much easier for many of us to find fault and try to correct it in others than it is to find it in ourselves? Too many people will take advantage of another’s’ vulnerability as well as blame their mate for driving them into the arms of another. Owning our own behavior is a necessary part of maturity in order to find the joy that we all seek.

Not all guilt requires professional help and many will find, “confession of the soul” and making amends to the injured party, brings with it the same release. Too many will try to buy someone or themselves something in order to make amends instead of making a conscious effort to accept responsibility for their own behavior.All the shopping trips and owning every pair of shoes in the Shoe store will not make guilt go away. Instead debt only adds to guilt. When we try to buy away or purchase guilt, we seldom ever learn from our mistakes.We do need to confront our own behavior, without looking for or finding excuses or blame in others, to replace our own guilt or responsibility. In the words of Harry S Truman, “the buck stops here.”

It is said that people in prison need to live on two emotions only, in an effort to survive the most dangerous of prison life, and those are fear and rage. When we lock ourselves up in our own prisons, then only we can set ourself free from the negative emotions that often follow our lack of taking responsibility. It is never “macho” or “cool” to be so afraid that we refuse to acknowledge our own weaknesses and refuse to get help when we are both following a destructive pattern in life as well as destroying our own joy, as well as, others’ right to live free from negative emotions.

Nothing is better in any of our lives than a clear conscience which makes it possible for us to rise each and every morning filled with Joy of another day. No one has the right or entitlement to give that or to take that away from us, but ourselves. Why people do, is between them and their “Maker.”

It is possible to live a guilt free life by simply resolving to never choose wrong over right and refusing to listen to anyone who tells us, our Elders, Ministers,Priests and Rabbi included,that it is sometimes right to lie,to protect our abusers, or choose to do that which our conscience tells us is wrong. Nor would any of them who are dedicated to helping us reach our Salvation, ask us to go against our own conscience. Certainly in Churches that use Prophesy or otherwise, God is never going to tell you or your minister that HE wants you to sleep with your minister. Sadly there has been cases reported going on over a hundred years, where this has happened, and how many have gone unreported?

No Churches’ reputation takes priority over we, ourselves, and especially our children being abused. It is the duty of the Church to eliminate the wrong doers and help us heal. If you are being told or have been told that it is your duty to protect the Church over your own or your child’s abuse, then report them before they hurt another, Our responsibility and duty is to protect ourselves and our children’ long term welfare. Churches are not shielded from the corrupt amongst us any different from other bodies ran by man and they can only become stronger and improve from within through the honesty of the people who attend and lead those particular Churches.

Personal Sacrifices are required in order for us to heal but none will ever include adultery,abuse or crime of any kind,instead we need to find change in ourselves, and it starts now, not tomorrow. There is a reason that we all have a conscience and that reason is, we need to listen to it. Not all people’s conscience run as deep as ours’, and for that reason alone we should not rely on the conscience of another over our own, nor do others find fault in doing wrong, but this does not excuse us from doing so, when applying it to our own responsibility and conscience.

I was watching the news last night and they were talking about removing the cameras at the red lights in L.A. that were catching people who ran the lights. They reported that people were not paying the fines so it was costing too much to justify using the cameras. The woman they were interviewing said,”If I knew people were not paying their fines, then I would not have paid mind either.” We do not release ourselves from guilt by telling ourselves, “everyone else is doing it, so why shouldn’t I?”

There is no better reward in life than what a clear conscience brings to us and our loved ones. Many times we will miss a step in life and need to start over because we are human beings prone to error, sometimes we need to let go of that which is the hardest to let go of, confronting ourselves head on in truth instead of excuses is not an easy challenge to take on, but all our efforts will be immensely rewarded once we do understand the difference between a guilty person as versus a happy person.

To deny ourselves or our loved ones the joy of appreciation, gratitude and equality while refusing them hope that we will at long last give up on our own guilt and bitterness, that has spread like a poison in their lives as well as our own, is our responsibility, when that is what we are doing as the adult in their lives and our own.

Feeding ourselves and loved ones guilt and all the lies that accompany it, for breakfast, instead of the joy of each new day, is too many times the biggest lie we will ever tell them or ourselves. Life is too grand and too short to continue even remotely close to this path if we are on it, not to mention playing “God” or “judge and jury” in the lives of others capable of making their own choices for their own circumstances.

It is time to change our paths with a whole new attitude of justice for both our loved ones and ourselves. The more eager we are to begin the sooner we will finish, but remember it is not an easy path that we are choosing, in the beginning. Often times people will cast stones,and sometimes leave in flocks, while we struggle with ourselves, to do the right thing. Many of the people would rather we be just like them over trying to improve ourselves. I repeat: It is not an easy path to take or to stay on.

The tendency in all of us to not find fault or criticize those who our own experience has told us, do not have a good word to say about anyone, is probably one of the hardest things to give up:)When we do realize that we are not so perfect either, it becomes easier each day. The great majority of people who do want to criticize someone do not appreciate hearing something good about the person they are picking apart. I’ve been yelled at and told,”Who appointed you everyone’s defense attorney.”chuckle Perhaps that is why I do like politics, as politicians are fair game to criticize as are the sanctimonious and pompous, who would over-rate their own significance.

The harder we work at taking responsibility for our own behavior, the greater the rewards.None of us can worm ourself out of guilt that our subconscious knows we created without our own forgiveness, no matter how hard we try to blame or make excuses because,”it is what it is.” To repeat Tony the tiger,”life is GRrrr-EAT!”when we make the choice to let go of guilt through positive effort of our own and through asking for all the help that we need. It is our own conscience and our own behavior that needs all of our attention and help. It is one of the best habits that we will ever form. We will not achieve our own success of peace of mind and Joy on a daily basis by making judgements or finding faults in the conscience of others.

We need to first be comfortable with ourselves in order to recognize the value of others, as well as, ourselves. It is when we recognize our own struggles and value we learn to appreciate the diversity, tenacity, and the “Never Say Die” of the American Spirit and how important we all are to its as well as our own survival. For the most part, most of us are not so bad to have around:)

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Guilt—-A Heavy Burden To Carry

Although, we all should be pleased just a little, when we do feel guilt as it can be an indication of good mental health; it is when we carry way too much guilt, for the circumstances that surround the event, we have need for concern. As I have mentioned in another post,”Only the narcissist,anti-social, and seriously psychotic do not feel guilt.”

Many times it is the self-righteous or the mean-spirited who would force guilt on us. Their profession of sin is not our sin, and it does us all well to remember that. For an example:A predator,manipulator or abuser can many times make us responsible for their own misdeeds out of fear or power and this will often times lead to guilt on our part, although we are being victimized by them to believe we are wrong. Too many times we will assume the guilt of another when we have been brainwashed into believing so.

What we should always ask ourself when we do make our own individual mistakes before accepting guilt is: Did we deliberately hurt the feelings of another by our own volition?Did our words or actions lead to irreparable harm in or to another? Did we consider a better way to behave but talked ourselves out of doing so,even though we knew it was wrong, because we wanted to please our friends? Did we give into pressure to be a crowd pleaser? Did we lie to make ourselves look better, or repeat something that we did not know was true, and in the process ruin another’s good name? Did we knowingly take what was not ours’ or destroy that which we had no right to destroy? How much was our own conscious thought involved in the poor decision that we made? Did our decision cause another to suffer? Long story short then, our brain needs to know what we are doing is wrong and WE decide to do it anyway.

Too many people, commonly the immature, will make snap decisions or act without thought and end up causing pain to others, only to feel bad about it later. Although we need to take responsibility for these actions or re-actions, and suffer the guilt that is appropriate to the crime, we do also sometimes, need to understand our own human frailties without beating ourselves up when we react or act thoughtlessly. If we find this behavior is more common than rare, then it would do us all well to receive help from someone who can train us in better behavior. Many of us enjoy those times where everything is not planned but done on the spur of the moment and when we can do this without doing any harm, then more power to us!

During my drinking days, when my inhibitions were down, I made many a faux pas that led to a great deal of embarrassment or guilt the next day. We need to take responsibility for not only our behavior towards others while under the influence but also for the way we often times demean ourselves, in the process. To become obsessed by it with guilt, to the point that we make excuses for it or suffer irreparable harm because of it, can and does become a problem. If and when this does happen and if it is interfering with our own self-worth, as well as how we function in life, by leading to depression or negative emotions or behavior, we need to consider getting professional help.

“I am sorry” offered in sincerity and directed towards those who we offend, should relieve a great deal of guilt. Most people, who are not inclined to hold a grudge, will accept an apology. If on the other hand, our actions led to something as tragic, as a death, we may need to do much more than a simple apology and let the victim’s loved ones determine what the punishment will be. This includes the passengers and friends in some cases, as well. Although friends and passengers are not held legally responsible, in these cases, we may be morally wrong and need to eliminate our guilt through the correct behavior while we make amends to those we have injured.

Once we recognize, while we are making our own behavior paramount in our own life, many times very few are or were even aware of it, then we can begin to start forgiving ourselves while making an honest resolve to stop the behavior that led us to feel guilt. No matter how much we would like to believe we are good people they’re none who will not make mistakes that will and sometime should lead to guilt. Our intentions at the time of doing so,needs to and should play a large role, before assessing the damage of guilt that we should carry or the extent of the amends we need to make.

It is human for all people who lose loved ones, through death or divorce, to feel guilt. None of us will ever be able to feel comfortable in believing that we did not leave things unsaid and undone and now do not have a chance to tell them or treat them differently. We need to understand this form of guilt is almost always nothing more than our profession of love for the departed.To suffer prolong guilt during this time is such a needless, as well as,wasted emotion. None of us can predict what tomorrow may bring and to behave in any manner than what is normal for us, would be a slap in the face of our loved ones who felt comfort in our behavior.To feel guilty through hind-site means exactly what it says. We got wiser after we knew the truth than we were before we knew the truth. How can anyone find blame in that? Only those who cause death or divorce need to suffer guilt and punishment. To punish ourselves further, after we have already been victimized, only adds to the travesty perpetrated on us.

None of us have the fore-vision or fore-thought to re-act or to act in a predictable fashion prior to these unknown circumstances. To carry guilt for the rest of our lives or to remain bitter because we feel that we were robbed of these opportunities, ultimately will only lead to our own self-destruction. We all have people who are relying on us to remain aware and mentally healthy to be there for them. It is when we refuse to let go of this guilt or anger, that we do need to get professional help, if we are unable to help ourself.

Many times we are certainly justified in our emotions but too many people are unaware of what their own guilt is doing in the lives of those who depend on them or love them. We can all understand what hate and denial does, when it comes to destroying a family and pulling them apart, but too few of us understand that the guilt that we carry is not a personal choice that hurts no one, but ourself.

Guilt, like a secret in the family, can cut like a knife into the heart of a family. We all need to, “let it go,”by resolving to not to repeat the behavior that led to the guilt, in order to find the balance of our own life and to bring our loved ones the opportunity to find happiness and to love themselves as well as us.

If we need professional help in order to do so, then understand so does the great majority of us, under the same circumstances. To not ask for emotional or mental help quite often just adds to what has already become a tragedy. The real hero in the life of all of us, are the ones who are strong enough to understand their own real weaknesses and value and then set about changing their own behavior to make the adjustments that will bring peace to us all. Everything worth doing is worth working towards, and often brings with it, its’ own rewards. “God helps them who helps themselves.”

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Bitterness vs. Congenial

Have you noticed,as I have, that those who are bitter tend to blame as those who are congenial tend to reason? I have a great deal of admiration for those who are betrayed and “dumped on” and are able to find their own blame in the relationship. This is common in first divorces where the couple were more mature when they did marry, according to my experiences, and other times, when a couple married young and have spent years growing up together. I see divorces that often end in compassion for each other when couples are realistic enough to accept their own blame and able to reason the “why” of its failure.

The hard divorce to ever get a handle on are those who profess to be in love, yet two weeks later, they are straying and justifying their leaving by blaming the same person they just said two weeks before, was perfect for them. The lack of character in these people usually becomes quite obvious, fairly quickly, when we realize that there has never been any depth to what they do believe in or stand for. This is the person who agrees with us instead of taking a stand of their own or showing any backbone for what they do believe in. There are very immature people who will see themselves as God’s gift to women in many cases or many times women who find out that an old boyfriend is now available.

So why is it, those who have been married 5 or 6 times seem to be more bitter than those who are trusting? I can’t personally think that after that many divorces any of us are going to be credible in playing a victims role in our marriage. Isn’t there a pretty good clue there, somewhere, that commitment to this person is going to be a real bitch? At the very least why do they keep choosing losers?

I can’t imagine putting one person, I profess to love, through the heartache of divorce much less 5 or 6, and calling myself humane or compassionate. On the other hand, if we are the one being left behind each time, shouldn’t we wise up and question our own choices without being bitter because yet another finds us difficult to live with?

When shit happens, which it always does, we have two choices: either learn from it in an effort not to repeat it or grow bitter and hate everyone else for it. I don’t know many people, unless they are strung out on drugs or alcohol, who do find bitter an attractive trait. It is true that while we grieve loss we will all have days of bitterness or anger until we are healed but it should not become a lifetime personality disorder. It is when children grow up never knowing a day that their parent was not bitter, that we have to recognize, the real tragedy of bitterness.

We all know people, who regardless of how hard we try to please them, they are never going to be pleased. These types of marriages, when people remain married, often times, do lead their mate to an early grave. The biggest mistake, I think, that we all make before we so naively go into marriage or a committed relationship, is to think that all people can be pleased if we truly work at it, or we can make a bitter person, happy.

Somewhere, someone lied to all of us in that assumption. The truth is there are selfish mean-spirited people who will never be pleased nor will they work towards pleasing others, no matter how hard we try. Sadly, they never show us that side of themselves before we say “I Do” in many cases. Because dating, itself, can be such a phony experience for most of us, we can never think that our marriages will not fail or are fail-proof while others will have marriages fail or that ours will never work while others make theirs’ work. More times than not, it is based on the choice of character in the person who we choose or our own lack of maturity, and how well they or we can disguise their or our real or lack of character. Other times people are not always ready to marry or they mistake lust for love and commitment.

Marriages that succeed, are not always based on the effort that we put into them. People are people and sometimes people just like marriages fail. Only the brainwashed, those who wear rose-colored glasses and live in denial, or those who choose a badge of honor, for lack of effort extended, will insist on staying and making their mates, as well as their children,as miserable as they themselves are, often in the name of God. Sadly, God, would prefer we would all show some congeniality and work towards a family who had a chance towards happiness instead of staying in a miserable dysfunctional home, in my own personal book.

It does pay to at least look for character first and foremost in the person who we do marry, but so many con people are out to please until after they marry, so like life in general, none of us ever come with a guarantee. Since people are getting acquainted on-line, be certain you ask them what is important to them first as there are too many who do not have a clue as to what is important to them and many times will only parrot us, in an effort to please.

Too many can and do show just how empty the real truth of their character is, and prove it, only after we marry them. Like everything else in life though, marriage, also has the possibility of being the greatest thing in life that we can ever do. No one should cheat themselves out of that experience, at least once, because of fear of failure. When two people click for a lifetime there will never be a greater experience in our lives, than a happy marriage. Whatever happens, the best friends any of us have a potential of ever meeting, is the person we marry and the one that looks back at us, from a mirror. Good Luck and make it a fun experience!

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The Beauty Of The Male Logic

Many times while women are complaining or talking about their slights from another in life, men draw the conclusion that it is their role to try to fix it. More times than not, we women, are only asking our male loved ones to listen while we express ourselves. We can fix it ourselves, we often feel. Having been married for going on 43 years, I personally, have learned to appreciate the male logic that has come into play. If I have any regrets, it may be because I did not always apply it,myself, sooner.

It is true that women who are independent and capable of making their own decisions in life will go ahead and deal with it without the man’s need to try to fix it for them or to protect us as helpless females. It is true as well,that the nature of the male psychic to want to help by fixing it or taking sides in our own personal upsets, is many times the only way many males can relate to what women are telling them. Unlike women, who will side with us while speaking to us, many times, men will take the side of the opposition to try to force women into understanding that there is another way to look at the problem. Too often we women will transfer the anger or upset we had towards another then unto the man in our life, when this does happen.

The real advantage of a long term relationship where a couple continues to not just love each other but still like each other, as my husband and I do, is for me to be able to look back on our relationship and see the input in my own life, from my husband, when the advice he gave did lead to my making decisions that did lead to my own personal peace and comfort in my life.

Although the two most remarkable pieces of advice my husband ever said to me, at the time, were not always the most appreciated, I do now understand that the advice he gave me has and will ultimately solve any and all problems that I had or will have in the future. The biggest mistake that both couples are often guilty of making is to try to control each other.

Taking control of our own lives is a necessity for survival but controlling each others’ life and misconstruing it as support will lead to more distruction than it will ever accomplish. This is true in any and all adult relationships regardless of gender. Life is simply too short spending it finding fault and arguing with another while passing blame. Even in the best of relationships, two people who are capable of making decisions are not always going to agree. When that does happen, we should be grateful that we still are the individuals that we were meant to be and have enough respect left to discuss those differences.

Only we ourselves, can determine when the relationships in our life have ran their course or have more value than pain left in them. I do believe men do hold relationships for a far longer time, over the years, because things on a personable level are rarely going to be discussed between a group of men. How many feelings can get hurt by talking about the weather,business, sports,hunting or reminiscing about old times when they either thought of themselves as the young studs or the decadence bunch, for an example?

Women, on the other hand although it is not exclusive behavior to them, will talk about far too many of their problems in their lives when it comes to child rearing or marriage or friendship and then resent the person they told about it, when things turn around and are good again. To be reminded about it by a true friend,who gave of their time,energy and expense during their crises, often times, will only lead to shame, embarassment, or other negative feelings even when that friend never brings it up again.

A true friend, regardless of gender, will never let mistreatment of a loved one, ever drop, if they know abuse exists or continues in our loved one’s life, and for that reason many times women and men, do lose good friends over what is spoken about in petty terms, while the person doing the abuse, often escapes behind convenient memories, denial and lies. When this does happen,the real underlying problem often times remains buried. Men are often hurt by the same behavior but usually on an individual basis and when it does happen, as it will, destruction of valued friendships occur in both genders, when reality and male logic are missing.

For that reason alone, I have come to appreciate the male logic and the great beauty in it. It rarely accuses or blames but instead asks us ,”If that is in truth the real problem with our friend or family member?” Now the two things that my husband has been consistent with over the almost 43 years of our marriage are,”Never stoop to their level,” and “Have you considered the source?” Had I of taken both to heart over the years, I could have spared myself a great deal of pain and hurt, but then, I may not have learned to appreciate nearly as much as I do today, either. If I had not allowed myself to feel what others have felt when it does come to being hurt and betrayed by another, would I be as appreciative of my life, today?

While we should never discount the male logic and the beauty in it, it also sometimes pays to learn through feelings of both joy and pain, in order to learn compassion and empathy for others, beyond ourselves. I accept that not all men think logically nor do all women tell their problems to others but since this is more typical behavior of the genders, I am speaking in that order.

As I keep saying no one should generalize anyone or anything much less judge them, but today, I simply reach out to explain why it takes both genders to truly come out feeling balanced and in harmony with life. I express my sadness to those who choose to hate either men or women or to place either in a second class role by finding it necessary to set boundaries on either, who do offer us their help in the best ways that they have learned to or express it. On the other hand, I also feel sadness for those who cannot distinguish themselves from their mate’s ideas and opinions but instead go through life pretending to be happy, while never questioning if they are.

It only takes mutual respect and communication, in an effort for two people to work together to form the bond that will and can last a lifetime. It is when we let other people enter into our marriages or signifcant relationships, that we lack the loyalty and respect to communicate our differences, too many times. It is not unusual to see, groups who hang together, to often times end up with more than one divorce or seperation, in them.

Instead of bashing the male logic in preference of he isn’t romantic enough, I ask that we women, think about what value and beauty the male logic does have to offer us. There are a lot worse men in this World than those who have character. We women can ill afford to blame our own poor choices on the men, anymore, without taking a good honest look at our own reasoning behind choosing them. My heart does go out to both the men and women who do choose the chronic liar,however, as they do appear to be mass producing, while getting harder to recognize. Good Luck out there!

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Friendship And Irritations

Is it just me or don’t we all want our friendships to be kept on the lighter side of life? My experiences have been that if we do tell too many people our problems, as a rule, they will listen a couple of times, especially if they’re women as men will have a difficult time hearing it the first time, and then will tune us out.

Most of us are fortunate enough to have that one really good friend that we can discuss the most private thoughts to,(thats what our spouses or best friends, are for) and otherwise it is my opinion, that we all have burdens enough with problems that the true value of friendship lies in cheering each other up. As I have said before, I have deliberately complained and bitched, at times, just to get a manipulator out of my life when telling them “No” does not work.Nothing in my estimation will drive people away faster than an obsessive complainer.

We all have that friend or had that friend that will tell anyone who will listen, even strangers on the street or janitors at the school, about her or his disappointing or ungrateful or equally defaming words of a loser of a husband,wife,child,friend,neighbor,boss,parent,sibling, etc. and if we do try to offer some good constructive advice, they either have an excuse or ignor it anyway.The sad thing about people who do this, unfortunately, is often times there are people who are truly abused or abusive and it confuses all of us as to if it is a cry for help or a chronic habit.

Too many people do end up feeling dreadfully guilty if they find out later it was a cry for help, and we did not know that it was until our friend is brutalized. I certainly do not suggest that if we are truly friends that we ever desert anyone in a time of crises. Anyone that does will have a very difficult time, I think, in believing they do value friendship. I am talking about the people who want us to live their life for them to the point it becomes habit or interferes in our taking care of our own responsibilities.

Many people, who become comfortable being victims or playing the helpless role, will cry wolf over too many petty things sometimes that we do tend to tune out instead of offer help to those who truly do need our help. We need to lighten up with the understanding that friendship is about love,laughter, and good times, a great majority of the time, as well.

Speaking of petty:), a real pet peeve, I have, are the people who would not sacrifice their own effort an hour much less a week of their time without pay to do something patriotic for someone other than a friend or themself or their Church group, but instead will wear a flag pin in their lapel, everywhere they go to show their Patriotism. When they then tell me.”they hate all Muslims”, Or support those who “Gay Bash”, or say “profiling by the police is necessary for our Freedom and anyone who disagrees with that are just plain stupid”, while wearing the pin, I can’t help but think they are missing the point?

Isn’t Patriotism all about acceptance and sacrifices for and of our differences and diversity so that we all can enjoy Democracy and are willing to sacrifice through our actions? (A personal aside,it does explain to me why so many Republican and Tea Party Politicians appear to have a need to wear the pin while telling those we did elect, “Our way or the Highway.” How long will we the voters tolerate that–Flag Pin or no Flag Pin?)

How about the person that accepts our gifts or pictures and we find out they give them away to another person who we would just as soon not have it? Wouldn’t we all rather that they would be honest enough to tell us that they would just as soon not take it or give it back to us as to find out they gave it away?

You guessed it, my problem at the moment is,”Do I give back the flag pins or keep them and keep my mouth shut?” I’m certainly not such a fickle friend as to regift them or to have a friend’s feelings hurt because they find out I gave them to someone else. Anything to do with politics is probably not a good gift to give unless perhaps it has to do with that individuals own value system. Perhaps I will be able to keep them in the spirit of friendship.

Gifting in an effort to turn anothers’ political views, in my estimation, makes about as much sense as a White Supremist wearing their flag pins to denote their Patriotism. I’m sure I won’t join their club but at the moment I am having a hard time in saying thanks without feeling like a hypocrit, in the process, by being less than honest about how I do feel. People who live their convictions of Patriotism, like all else in life, do not need to advertise or stoop to the level of those who wear them out of a hate grudge. Sadly, the Patriotic Pins have become so much more than what they were intended to be because of those who do choose to hate.

The other thing that amuses me about friends are those who think it is fine to say something insulting but instead call it constructive criticism on how we dress, our views, our appearances and how we spend our time, whenever we see them, and then play the victim role when it comes to,”Why don’t you ever stop and see me anymore?”

Well folks this is my bitch for the day. That’s the good thing about writing a blog. We can truly tune it out if we do not recognize ourselves in it and simply not read it. Blogs aren’t in our face and most of them are nothing more than self expression.

The best friend any and all of us will ever have or can have is ourselves. No one on earth understands us just in quite the same way as we do understand ourselves and as long as we expect someone else to understand us in the same way, we are always going to be sadly disappointed.

To all of us then Cheers and give yourself a hug! The only advice that I will offer today is to take a good look in the mirror when you get a moment,as you should see your best friend looking back. Loneliness, like all emotions, derives from our own refusal to be the kind of person we would most want to spend time with. It only takes doing for others, being appreciative, and having a dog/cat greet us to learn just how significant we all are, if we cannot value ourselves and others as the person God loves.

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Republican Hypocrisy Continues

For those of you who are not aware of it, as the Republicans yammer over not raising the debt ceiling while accusing Barack OBama of putting America in debt, they are criticizing Ben Nelson of Nebraska for voting 6 times to raise the debt ceiling, while they campaign against him, even though it was done during the Bush Administration.

As I have said, many times, not all people should be elected or re-elected strictly on the party preferences of past family members. Right wing politics along with so called Patriot groups have ruined members in both parties with their heavy handedness.

Ben Nelson voted with the Bush Republicans, and bragged in the State about it while doing so, on a straight Republican ticket and always against the Democrat Party even though he is a registered Democrat. The Republicans themselves voted to raise the debt limits 6 times.

They were all the best of political buddies as Democracy continued losing. Ben Nelson also shows a voting record that supports the Catholic Church’ views, despite separation of Church and State being the Constitution law of the Land. All United States Senators and Congressmen and women take oaths to uphold the Constitutional Laws of the land seperate from their own personal religious views. The Constitution clearly states that NO religion shall interfere in the distribution of law or order or of government duty in America.

He voted against healthcare reform of his own party. He could not get enough of the photo opps and exposure showing himself voting along with George Bush while he was in office. Ben Nelson with his arm around George Bush and bragging about voting with him in the State of Nebraska became the focus of all of his re-election campaigns.

He also lives in a State that has only voted for a Democrat for President once in it’s entire history. To now accuse Ben Nelson of Nebraska for voting for those 6 ceiling lifts, which the Republicans themselves did as well, in order for the Republican candidate to take the seat in 2012, is like calling a chicken a duck. When it works for the Republicans it clucks but when it works against the Republicans it quacks.

That is why going into any election it is always important to check out the candidates as well as understand how the Parties vote. There are a few right-wing Democrats but the great majority of them are in the Republican Party.

I just think it is just another perfect example of the Republicans using their own behavior and action in order to keep any and all Democrats out of winning elections, that makes “The Grand Old Party” the mess it is in today. They continuously play the American voters for fools with their own hypocritical intentions, and the sad thing is so many voters, let them.

Tell the Republicans and Tea Party candidates, it is time that they work for us in 2012 by electing Democrats who do know and understand compromise, as well as, the will of the people. Unless we all forget, it was the American Voter who did say healthcare reform was our largest concern in 2008.

Almost all reform does begin with baby steps and even though it wasn’t what we hoped for it was a huge step to take with the Republican Party in 100% agreement against any healthcare that did not benefit the Insurance Companies and 30 some Democrats fighting it all the way. Any effort gained is much larger of an effort than what any Republican majority have taken in the past or will in the future, that will aid “We the People’ over Corporate. Re-elect Barack OBama in 2012.

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Why Religion And Science?

Part 5 of a Series of 5 Posts

If you have been reading my series of 5 posts to date then you know that rape,incest, and abuse have a strong basis or background in mental illness. Not all people who suffer from mental illness are criminal, nor ARE THEY RAPISTS and to suggest that they are, only continues the deplorable stigmatisms that have been ingrained into the minds of Society, when it does come to mental illness.

The main reason that Religion and Science need to work together to help solve the stigmatism of mental illness and the way Society looks at it, as I suggested in my previous post, is because currently, Religion, is still treating pedophilia,rape, and incest as sins that can be stopped by pentitence and a man’s word not to commit the sin again.Unless the various religions start reporting child abuse, as they are reguired to do by law, instead of hiring teams of 100 or more lawyers to protect the Churches against the claims of abuse that are being permeated inside their own walls, Society will always see evil and sin over treatable disease.

One of the most grievious offenders of pedophilia and incest has been the Morman Church. The Mormon Church and Boy Scouts have had a strong connection over the years, and it is important that all parents research the strength of that relationship as well as the background of both their leaders, before entrusting their children to the same. Although it took the Catholic Church entirely too long to acknowledge that pedophilia was not only going on in the Church but the Church was covering it up, the Mormon Church is yet to acknowledge the same.

Currently, unless, a larger law firm is willing to partner with a smaller or medium size law firm and or form a partnership, the Mormon Church will simply file cause after cause or declare Religious Freedom, in order to delay the case from moving forward, when a lawsuit is filed against them accusing them of knowingly protecting their leaders who are comitting pedophilia or rape but they are failing to warn the parents about it. As is the case, in most rape cases of children, even though alcohol,pornography and drugs are against their religious beliefs all are often introduced to children as young as 8 years old in the process of what they call,”grooming” prior to the rapes. In using the delaying tactics that have already failed to work in other cases, they will either wear down the opposition until they give up or it will bankrupt any firm that chooses to file against them unless they are equally backed by a greater amount of cash.

Eliminating Civil suits to no more than 250,000, which was moved on and passed during the Bush Administration and passed by the Republican majority, while getting rid of the ability to file punitive damages in many of the States, has also made filing lawsuits against Churches who protect pedophilia and rapists, financially unfeasable. Unless Religion and Science agree to work together to find help for these children by accepting that rapists, pedophiles, and other forms of criminal mental illness are what they are and never cured after they reach adulthood, then there is no hope for those who are victimized to be treated and cured while still children, when there is still hope for treatment to be effective. Certainly doing pentitence while promising never to do it again or being re-Baptised or born again, does not treat the innocent vulnerable victims of serial pedophiles or rapists, who often times grow up to repeat the same crimes. Nor does it stop the predators once they do become adults.

The Mormon Church is what is known as an entity and to indentify any one or a group of the tentacles inside the Mormon Church that make up the whole is next to impossible. Unlike other Churches who are served by the clerical the Mormon Church is served by the lay men of the Church. All men have jobs or work for or own Companies ran by them,elsewhere, outside of the Church. Although the Church is their main conviction and denotes the tithing and morality of their life, it is not ran by the clerical as we commonly refer to but by what are known as the Elders who hold titles elsewhere.

Like all the Churches the wealth of the Mormon Church is held secret and the most conservative estimates hold its values at between 25 to 30 Billion. This was the estimate taken prior to restrictions being lifted during the last decade before the recent attempts of Barack OBama and the Democrats, to replace the restrictions on Wall Street. Since so much of the work in the Mormon Church is done by volunteer their available cash, at all times, is immense. If it was not considered Religion but a private non-profit entity, it would rank amongst the top 1/3 of the Fortune 500 Companies. The Mormon Church certainly does not stand alone when it comes to accumulating a great deal of wealth on the tithing, (estimated to be 5 to 7 Billion taken in annually), of its’ members or holding multinational Corporations in: Agriculture,banking,Insurance,sales,utility,media,factories,manufacture and devolpment arms. All Religions share in this reality.

There is currently, a well researched book on the subject of protection of incest and pedophilia by the Mormon Church within it own walls, out for those who are interested in establishing these facts. It is entitled, “The Sins Of Brother Curtis” and written by Lisa Davis. Published by Scribner, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

I do warn you that if you are quick to anger or become sad over arrogance or gross injustices, make sure before picking up this book, that you yourself are capable of dealing with the facts as much of this information will lead many a caring and compassionate person to grow ill in the reading of the established facts.

A “shaker and mover,” behind the scene for years has been, Linda Walker, a researcher and Founder of Child Protection Project and I could give my readers a number of sites to visit but sadly so many web sites of people who have the courage to speak out get infiltrated by spam or viruses that I find recommending books where the research has been done far superior to finding the truth.

In completion, then of this 5 part series of youth in trouble
The Churches, themselves, need to quit blaming single moms, Hollywood, video games etc. and own up to what they themselves have promoted in both denial and protection of what they refuse to accept as mental illness but instead sin that can be eradicated in a confessional. Too many Religions are teaching that lies are acceptable as long as they fulfill the purpose of the Churches.

The act of lying, that afflicts so many, is threatening our Democracy to the point that Religion must play a role when it runs so deep and destroys the need for truth. Demanding or attacking education or liberals in an effort to cover the hypocrisy that has been displayed, when it comes to blaming liberals for intrusion on Religions’ First Admendment rights, is solving nothing and simply is not true. We as a Nation must be held responsible until we all accept the tragedy that happens when children are abused and mental illness goes ignored.

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