Life, as a general rule, is fairly simple, it is people who complicate it. For instance, most people are comfortable with being themselves as well as accepting others as themselves, until different people start picking them apart about their style of dress, way of thinking, their belief system, affiliations, where they live and what they do. How many of us recognize that as children we did genuinely enjoy someone but because we were pressured into thinking something was wrong with that person,we began finding fault with them as well? That then is just the beginning of the real danger of popularity. Combine with it, the fact that parents are all but bankrupting themselves in some cases, to make sure their children are or remain popular, and we end up with a society that has lost touch with their own priorities and the significance of the same.
If we were told, if we allowed our child to drink a poison, he or she would end up being confused, they would perform as a robot trying to please everyone but themselves, lose their own ability to know and understand who they were or what they represented, separate from what their friends thought,would achieve, only to please someone else, many of us would make sure that we would safeguard our child from the poison. However, this is exactly what we insist our children become, when we insist they be popular. Instead we should be making them aware of the fact that they will suffer more as a result of popularity rather than gain from it. Every child on earth wants to be popular but few know the price they pay for the same.
Many times they grow up lost and very shallow as a result of our having forced popularity on them or not educating them in the significance of being true to their own goals. It is fine for children to have the comfort of friends that support their own goals and needs but if they are simply following the lead they are already facing complications in their life.Often times they will fail at something for the first time in their life, when they are away from their parents or group, be the first to do drugs, turn towards risky behavior, and be unable to cope, if they do not understand clearly their own reasoning for saying no to such behaviour. We see many highschool valedictorians become tomorrow’s failure because they peaked early in life and cannot handle the stress of having discovered they are unable to make decisions on their own, think on their feet, or are totally lacking in street smarts.
In short they become lost very quickly when left to think,plan, and decide their own futures, if they have never had the chance to do so, on their own. Some will still go on and be high achievers but they also will sometimes be the person with the Dr.s degree, waiting tables, as they may be both socially as well as book smart but be very life and skill naive. In short they have no ideal of where they would best perform in life so go on and attend college because they are confused as to what it is they do want to do. Although college is extremely important to open doors for our future sometimes others will go on and on with college because it gives them more time to avoid dealing with themselves and their own reality. They have always relied on others, their book intelligence, sports skills, or friends to make decisions for them with or without their own imput.
‘If we learn to rely on ourself and do our own thinking and planning while still in the home with support from our families then we learn the significance of being independent from our group. It is really quite simple. We all know that some of our favorite moments are those times we have to spend alone with a good book and a bubble bath but instead of allowing our child the same, we are constantly on the go in an effort to make sure they do not miss out on being popular or what many foolishly think, prepared for success.
It should occur to us all, unless our child is given time to self reflect, think on their own two feet, work towards a goal that will please themselves,and not always us or others etc., we will not be preparing our children towards understanding and welcoming the idea that life decisions are their’s and their’s alone to determine and make. How can they possibly make them if they do not have a clue as to who they are?
Life is simple, we need to recognize how badly we are complicating it in our own lives and learn to let go and relax a little, or get off our duffs and become the leaders/examples we were meant to become. Our background does not make us the people we become but the way we view life exclusively, ourself, makes us become the person that we are. So often we expect so much more of others than we are willing to do or give ourselves. When we make today, along with all of our own tomorrows, count in ways that are important to each of us, our life will count for something as well.