We all have or had people in our life over the years who are incapable of friendship, not because we do not enjoy them, but because there is no real depth to their character. They handle friendships in the same way they handle what they are going to wear or what they are going to eat. In other words, what strikes their fancy for the moment or the day. The following then are people who it would be wise to avoid or at very least treat as acquaintances because they will never be dependable enough to earn the distinction of friend.
1. They have call waiting and when you call they use it as an excuse to hang up on you instead of telling the other person that calls, they will call them back. (if it is an important call and our’s is not then circumstances do change. However, if they never offer to call us back but hang up each time then we kinda have our answer as to how low we rank in their lives)
2. You only hear from them when they are complaining about being bored or about someone else. People that especially belittle or demean others will do the same to us.
3. We only hear from them when they want or need something. That can become fairly consistent or erratic.
4. We meet for lunch and they are always short of tip money, or they offer to pick up the tip if we get the meal.
5. They brag about being a bitch as though it should be a badge of honor and use P.M.S. as an excuse to treat others like crap and find humor in it.
6. When they call they talk for an hour but when we call someone is always at the door or they have to go. If they can’t schedule their life around their needs then we are interfering with their plans.
7. They tell us they do not want to talk about that and go back to a subject that has been discussed and rehashed to the point that we are driven to absolute distraction by the entire subject, and they do not seem to notice.
8. They call to argue or to tell us that they read something that proves us wrong.
9. Talking about hell and damnation or our salvation becomes a common thread in their conversations.
10. Most of their conversations are about what is wrong with their spouses or their children. If a person has little to no loyalty for their spouse or children they will be lacking in loyalty toward us as well.
11. They are chronic liars and we catch them in one lie after another, but they accuse everyone else of lying.
12. We hear excuses about how they had to work when we had plans and others tell us that they are hanging out at the local gossip corner or coffee shop.
13. They always wait and call when they are drunk or have been drinking.
14. They form all or nothing relationships. When the relationship begins they are constantly in our lives until they move onto someone else and then we hear less and less from them. They have a history of doing this to everyone they hangout with.
15. they cut us short when we are speaking, to always talk about themselves. Every sentence begins and ends with I or Me.
I learned a long time ago, that the very best friend in life, is not one that makes us feel, indifferent, hateful towards others,puts us in the position to explain ourselves, applies pressure to accept their point of view, or think less of ourselves, but instead one who wants us to choose what is in our own best interest, while they support it 100%. We have people who come close to doing that in our lives but if we expect to have it 100% of the time then we will need to become our own best friend.
Reality is, just like we have our own best interests at heart, so does everyone else have their own best interests at heart. Many times the two interfere with each other and other times they can compliment each other. If there is little to no tolerance for those changes in our life to apply to us in the relationship, but always on the terms the other person establishes, then they are an acquaintance and should not be classified or mistaken with the honor of friendship.
Respect, appreciation, gratitude,trust and love are always the cornerstones of all good relationships but especially all good friendships. The more we confuse the differences between acquaintances and friendship the less pleasant the relationships will become and the more pain we will feel, if we ourselves, fail to understand or know the difference between the two.
(Please note: Many of us will place others before ourselves, but rare is the person who does not place their interests before another’s. If you doubt that then go to a convention where you have an option between what interests you as versus what bores you, get caught in a disaster situation, or have your child compete against your best friend’s child for the same position, and you will understand more clearly, the difference.)