The Long and Short of It! Happiness is a Need!

I have written, in the last two blogs, the problems that arise in the homes of stay at home Moms. According to Dr. Phil there are no statistics that show that there are fewer problems in homes where Moms stay at home than there are increased problems in homes where Mom’s work.

Many stay at home Moms do have increased evidence of depression, as well as the problems, that I have written about, previously. If moms are engaged in activity that does not satisfy their own needs to find happiness, it will always exhibit itself.

Philosophers, for years, have said that all people, regardless of gender, are made up as individuals with individual components and unless, we the human fulfill those needs in us, we will not reach our own period of satisfaction and joy. We will not be controlled by someone else, but only discovered my ourselves. We cannot find the peace and joy that we seek, from someone else telling us so.

So keeping that in mind, knowing that human beings were never intended to think in herds or flocks, but are easier controlled if they think ,as of one mind, then we can and do understand, that if a Mom has a satisfying job, at home or away from home, then it follows that she also will nurture and parent, accordingly. No one can brainwash women into being happy and then expect them to feel that joy, no more than they can, a man.

Again there are NO sucess ratios in any statistics ever done, that indicate that children, are more successful, when Moms stay at home as versus they work, as long as the child is placed in satisfactory care facillities. Obviously, then there is truth in the old saying, “If Momma ain’t happy then no one is Happy” scenario of life.

So for all Mom’s and Dad’s out there that suffer as a result of their need to work. I ask you to quit feeling quilty and parents please put your children to work being responsible, for them selves, giving them the joy that the accomplishment feels like. Just as we get pleasure out of, “Job well done” they will as well, if we just do it along with age appropriate instructions and follow through. “Knowledge of self” must come first, in order for them to survive, and once conquered ,then it is time to teach them the need to pull their share of the weight in life, long BEFORE they leave home at 18.

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Moms and the Men they introduce to their Kids

My last blog dealt with the mid to higher income families. Many of these Moms fit into ALL income levels. They are the housewives that are bored to death and unchallenged by life many times, that are home drinking and drugging themselves to oblivion and families are making excuses for them. They set the examples for their own children to follow. They are sometimes able to accomplish more than most in a days time, so initially it is easy to believe that they are only having a glass or two of wine. Eventually they can no longer lie to themselves, and still the families stay in denial ,rather than to seek help for them, even though the entire familys’ lives are becoming a, “Hell on earth!”

Children are going totally neglected, their safety is jeopardized when Moms forget to pick them up at appointed times, many times they are left unfed and unsupervised and fathers tend to spend more hours out of the home working, rather than to admit to themselves that their wives need help.

Compound that in the homes, where there are single Mom’s, in the same condition that are bringing home pedophiles, abusers and rapists, and we have a whole group of thousands and thousands of kids whose lives will never be normal or happy and still families do nothing. The first two or three drinks of alcohol in an alcoholic family can and often does determine the fact that this child will just repeat another generation of, families in distress.

There is no help for these children when we hear about the boyfriend who kills, the child of 3 years through abuse, and gets 6 months of jail time or the uncle that commits incest, with a 7 year old child, and get one months jail time with a ten year probation.

Recently I asked people to sign a petition to make it more difficult for pedophiles to go undetected in their neighborhoods across America and all refused to sign. One even went so far as to say how wonderful of a neighborhood they lived in. They had bar-b-ques and block parties all the time so it was not a concern of theirs. I could not help but think,”Don’t you realize that is the same kind of neighborhood that Gacy came from. The first thing all the neighbors say about a serial killer is, “that can’t be him, he is the greatest neighbor that we have ever had.”

These type of men, look for the children that are being neglected because Mom is drunk or drugged in upper, lower, or middle class neighborhoods. If she is single this type of man, many times is not attracted to her, but to her children. Even when Moms do not have a drinking or drug problem, many are being abused and mistreated. It is said, that all anyone has to do, is go into any neighborhood anywhere, in America, and one out of every three homes on the block has abuse of some type happening.

As long as good people are more concerned about changing the constitution so that it takes away the rights of minorities, women and gays, over doing something about the true Social calamity, that already exists in our Country, we can expect nothing more than the Ire of the down trodden to worsen, and complete anarchy to open up.

We, as a democracy, owe these children much more than what they are getting. We owe them all HOPE that men will be punished according to their crimes, regardless of their station in life, and their mothers will be helped!

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Lazy Mazie And Slothful Paul

It always gives me reason for pause,when I hear the general attitude of the work force spouting about the stay at home Moms being both under-educated and lazy. At the same time,very little is being said about momma’s lazy son or sons.

As I have said in previous blogs, stay at home Mom’s are working harder than a lot of women that hold down jobs. They actually are helping run communities without pay. More than a few will take, the experience that they have learned, to set up and run their own businesses, network, or to go back to the work field,once their children are in school and capable of being home, alone, after school. I do not include these women in this blog and am in total agreement with Oprah Winfrey, when she says, “They have the hardest jobs of all.”

Sons and daughters on the other hand, that are well into their 20′s, and are still living at home taking, as few credit hours as possible, with Mom doing their laundry and Dad and Mom providing a roof over their heads,and feeding them, make most of us either concerned or disgusted. You, are or soon will become,the failures of Society. Some do not even pretend to be working or going to school while others put on the pretense of doing both. They stay home all day and do nothing but play nintendo/wii or sit on computers, hang in bars or party with other lazy adults, sleep way past noon, or go shopping with Moms/Dad’s credit cards and in some cases, are drug addicts. No matter how much you try to convince yourselves, Moms and Dads, that they are just taking time to find themselves, this is not normal behavior. I repeat: this is not normal behavior!

We do have a group of women, as well, that once their children are packed off to school, they spend the rest of their days, shopping until they drop, tanning, getting their nails done and attending spas for facials,body wraps,and massages, and meeting for lunch if not on a daily basis then at least 3 times a week. They sneak home clothing and other items and hide it in various places,so their husbands, naively, believe that they have been working all day. Many times their credit is destroyed and the bills, like rent,house payment and utilities, that their husbands think are being paid , are going ignored.

Their medicine chests are full of prescription drugs, that typical lead to their own childrens’ addictions. Also husbands that are using their wives/girlfriends to support them, as there are nothing but jobs, “that are beneath”, their great talent, or they lie about doing job interviews, while they sit in parks,or go to golf courses, bars and casinos, with no intentions of job hunting.

This then is intended for you, as you know who you are. We are tired of carrying you. If Mom and Dad or husbands and wives have the inability to say “No” or want to lie to themselves to cover their own involvement, it does not give them or you the right to pass your laziness off on the rest of us, in form of added weight to our already stressed incomes.

We the tax payers, as well as the consumers, pay increasingly more as a result of your slothfulness and laziness. Everytime you refuse to enter the work force, there are fewer tax payers to help pay, and everytime you destroy your credit, the rest of us are having to make up for it, in increased interests rates. You, are all, usually a member of the middle to upper class that have been granted, in your lifetimes, far more priviledges than those of us that are paying more as a result of you doing, nothing.

As disgusted as we are with you, I have a tough time of understanding, WHY you feel so entitled? If you want to play, “little Miss Priss”, or “I am just waiting for the job” that is better qualified for my great talents”, and you have the money to do so, then that is your business, to do so, even though prissy went out with the dinosaurs,and strikes the majority of us, as a very shallow way to live.

The same is true about the daughters and sons staying at home with parent’s permission, even though it is one of the worse kinds of abuse, to spoil and teach you children, that they have no responsibility towards themselves or others beyond what they look like. It is also very unkind of all of you to think that the rest of us are living that way as well! Do you really think that they don’t have a higher instance of moving on to crime and that Society will not end up paying for them the rest of their lives?

On the other hand, if you/they suffer from depression or alcoholism, or are drug addicts and have been trying to get off the drugs alone, tell someone. These problems are in every neighborhood in every city as well as rural areas (especially from meth and alcohol) Dad,Mom, husbands and wives WAKE UP! Get out of denial before you make your own problems, worse than your loved ones’ problems already are. Denial, itself, has been known to play a greater hardship in family destruction, over the addictions that afflict your families. You, yourself, could be so close to losing touch of reality, as well as the roof over your heads, by remaining in denial. I understand that they are and can be very manipulative, but there are signs, that you do know, that you are denying to yourselves. Do an intervention before it gets worse, if they won’t co-operate with you!

Those of us that know people like this, also must play a role,in reporting them as a danger to our own safety and well being, even if they do end up, never speaking to us again. Many are breaking the law and it is not their choice, to pick and choose, which ones they can break, at a cost to the rest of us. Despite, what the Churches and right wing ,would have us believe, people suffering through these types of lifestyles, play a far GREATER role in the destruction of family and Society, than what granting minorities,women, or gays who only ask for their entitled equal rights, ever will!

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