To be certain, this type of person is not the kind of person that I have written about previously. These people simply give the appearance of being generous, but in truth are grand manipulators.
To most they are very easy to detect. They buy gifts, give a place to stay,pick up the tab and always have strings attached to those acts of kindness. They may not only be offering gifts to you but will also offer to help the family or gift them as well.
It is not unusual for this kind of person to have finances as well as their own life in shambles. Many times their real enjoyment in life is shopping/spending and gaining control over the person/family that they are being generous to.
Almost without exception they will make you feel obligated to them to the point that before the relationship ends you are doing everything from painting their walls, loaning/giving them money and just stopping short of carrying out their garbage for them. It is not uncommon to find that this person will be stroking your ego in an attempt to convince you that they are helpless when it comes to their own responsibilities in life. They can never do what you do!
Almost always, they attempt to isolate you from the people that genuinely do care about you, because their motives are very easy to detect by other people around you. It often happens that they make up stories or exaggerate what someone did or did not say about you. They are grand manipulators that recognize almost immediately, if you can or cannot be controlled by others.
How many times have you heard yourself or someone else say, “Nancy just takes up too much of my time or I should ask Nancy not to come so often or Nancy is just getting on my last nerve, or Nancy is wearing me out asking me for favors but I just don’t have the heart to say anything to her as she is just so good to me?”
I have had such a person in my life as well. I did tell her on three different attempts to, “please do not send me gifts.” Of course she had her allies as well, that were ready to attack me when I did make the request to stop. People like this do not only manipulate you but have others in, “their bag of tricks” that they can turn lose on you if you do try to stop the manipulation, once you do recognize it for what it is.
Just remember that we all have times in our lives that we are vulnerable and people of this nature watch for that so at some time we probably are all exposed to this type of person. They may even be in our own families.
The good news about this type of person, if you are not the kind that can confront your own issues, is that eventually they tire and move on once they find that we no longer respond to their needs in the manner that they wish us too.
If you can’t say “NO” then don’t answer the phone or be at home during her not your’s convenient hours to visit. Even if it means you look up an old friend or family member that did warn you because they did care, to hide out with. Eventually they all tire and move on to different people to manipulate. I recognize not all people are comfortable with standing up for themselves, sadly.