In Response to Douglas Wagaman of FB

In my post entitled “Ted Nugent is a Coward and An Idiot”, my opening paragraph made no bones about my stooping to the level of name calling but when the shoe fits, I stated “I am no different from the masses when it comes to doing so.”

When an American citizen of privilege such as Ted Nugent, stops just short of telling an organized body steeped in hatred towards our President,” that justice and assassination are the same”, then that person in any book should be called an idiot and a coward regardless of the Party affiliation of our President and who the acting President is in The United States of America.  I do not believe that to be a long shot in opinion amongst any of us who are truly dedicated to American Decency and Democracy.

I normally do not answer my critics but anytime I get a chance to educate the American public I will take time to do so.  Douglas Wagaman on face book said in regard to my post of the above title and I quote it here:  “I had to laugh when I read this piece.  The author complains about hate, racism, and rhetoric while using the term “redneck” over and over to describe the people with different beliefs and values.  Nicely done. Lol “

When I read that quote by Douglas Wagaman on Face book, I smiled to myself and thought,” clearly Douglas and friends do not know any true Rednecks.” If I hadn’t of spent so many years, myself, living around and in the vicinity of and amongst true Rednecks and listening to their conversations while watching their behavior, I would have thought exactly as you did, Douglas. Every time I tried to get an individual who promoted the negative views I reported in my post to understand a different perspective all I ever heard back was, ” I am a Redneck and proud of it.” I would estimate over the years, I made that attempt close to a hundred times on at least as many different people or maybe even more.

I am not a shy violet who is afraid to take on controversy. Since I had the experience and heard their beliefs repeated endlessly I am able to clearly define them as Rednecks, since that is how they wish to define themselves. Terminology just like our diet and food favorites vary greatly in the different cultures across America. I should have known better and explained clearer the definition of a true redneck in my neck of the woods. 

These many differences in how we view ourselves and the World becomes very prominent to all of us who do make a point of exposing ourselves to different cultures and beliefs while educating ourselves in the Diversity across America. None of us will ever get it 100% correct, myself included, as the differences of our experiences that teach us remain personal with too many amongst us, but at the very least, 100% of us can commit to the efforts of understanding the diversity that is America and the foundation of Democracy.

I, myself,am willing to bet the great majority of Americans would agree; America was never intended to be a Country with a ruling class of elitist served by the lower working class of workers minus an entire middle class. That idea was promoted and pushed during the 1800′s during the Industrial Revolution of the North.

The bosses hired Pennington Guards to shoot and kill any Union organizers who tried to come in and help the workers circumstances and wages improve. It would not be until after World War 2 that America would have a viable middle class thanks to the GI program and Democrats Roosevelt’s and Truman’s administrations. Just as the John Birch Society who ran Barry Goldwater’s campaign in the 1960s believed Democracy was not the intent of our Founding Fathers so do Patriot groups along with many in the Tea Party, believe the same today.

Grover Norquist was an aide under Barry Goldwater and a big supporter of the John Birch Society. Today he has a think tank that he funnels money through to Conservative and Tea Party candidates. No Republican can get elected without first going through Grover Norquist. Every Republican must sign a pledge not to raise taxes on the elitists or lose their bid for office but he gave his o.k. to raise taxes on the middle class. How many of us think that anyone but the Conservative and Tea Party members and their paid for media were really upset when IRS decided to check out his tax free exemption?

We fought the biggest and most deadliest war called the Civil War in our history, for Democracy. We have throughout History lost many of our brave young men and women in defense of oppression against our allies around the World. No Family other than perhaps some of the elitists have been spared from deaths of War. The Civil War established that America would not tolerate oppression of the Constitution and of it’s people. As A Nation founded on the principle of equality for all under our Constitution we would be a Nation of Free people and that is what was the intent of our Founding Fathers all along.

It would not be until the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment in 1971 that minorities and women would be given the full rights under the law and both are still having to fight the Tea Party and Conservatives for those equal rights yet in 2013. Do we really have to ask if it is truly wrong to suggest that other beliefs and value systems may still be unjust in a Country that prides itself on having the best Democracy in the World?

Although I do not agree with the politics of the Deep South either, it does not prevent me from looking forward to their gracious hospitality each time I travel there. I find the people who live in the region, in many incidences, to be the mirror of what the rest of us should look into once we remove the politics from the fray. I find much more prejudice exists in the North, East Coast, Mid West, Bread Basket and intermingled to too large of a degree in the South West and West Coast than what is apparent in the South each time I visit. I have always enjoyed the Diversity of Americans and view it as one of the greatest selling tools that makes up American Democracy.

I, personally, encourage everyone who have pre-conceived notions without the facts to educate themselves on the differences that make our Nation great. I certainly do not applaud nor will I ever support those who would subject their hatred and rhetoric on to other American citizens while using fear tactics in the process.

What I have found to be true once I let go of my own pre-conceived notions is that there are a great deal of commonalities that do exist amongst all of us when we make the effort to accept our differences and to rid ourselves of our own ignorance that is behind most hate. I have no doubt that all of us who look for unity will find that the goodness in the American people does out-weigh the hate that we hear. As is true, too many times, the good often gets buried under the manufactured or bad news that gets reported.

Unfortunately no one knows or understands better than the well financed and powerful political machines at work in America who often hide behind Social Ideology or Religious Freedom, when they are anything but political, that the actions of, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall”, have proven itself to be true since the beginning of mankind. We find these political entities, backed by their own media, while they deliberately drive the wedge not just between the American people but also in the GOP that blames our President for the lack of their own Leadership or ability to compromise in their own Party, in Congress specifically, but also at work amongst us in our own environment.

Believe me ,Douglas, the term ”redneck”, is not one of my own.  The true redneck believes as I stated they do in my post entitled “Ted Nugent is an Idiot and a Coward,” in my neck of the woods. 

Just as the White Supremacists, Skin Heads, and members of any other hate groups who number in the 1000 plus range in America and who think of themselves as victims or superior to other races or sexual orientations are proud to be a member of their group so is a true Redneck proud to be a Redneck. 

They are equally as proud of their belief system, racial slurs and gay bashing.  I did not pigeon-hole the Redneck belief system nor their long held beliefs against change and diversity in my area of the Nation. I did not make up this belief system but instead the people involved did it long before I wrote my post and I only reported the same.

Like any other group that takes pride in defining themselves the true redneck does as well. They do make up part of the culture of America. They like all other groups pigeon-hole themselves into the narrow views that exist amongst them just as the radical members of both the NRA and or any other group who believe they are superior to others or victims of another instead of working towards the goal that is satisfactory to all of us.

Democracy embraces all of us who do try to correct the injustices amongst us through positive efforts of all of us working together for the common goal. To pretend this is the goal of those who practice hate or those who try to divide our commonality or respect for each other, is to lie to ourselves and to live in a world of fantasy or denial.

A true redneck sincerely does believe that the Democrat Party is made up of entirely Liberals who are intent on taking away their guns.  Their belief system is exactly what makes them easy prey to the NRA and subversive groups whose only job is to divide the American people.  Anyone insulted to be called a Redneck is truly not a Redneck. 

Some, amongst us may think the people who act like cave men or have not advanced to the twenty first century and feel that women rights are not suppose to be equal to the rights of the white male, are “rednecks” but in many of these examples we will find people who have religious convictions that drive their thinking and they are not in truth officially “Rednecks.”

Many included in this group may have similar beliefs when it comes to husband and wife roles but their beliefs stem instead from the verses of the Bible that says, “Wives should be obedient to and beholding to their husbands.” Not all but in a lot of instances, we will find that they are absent of hate or bigotries.

Those who are not or would divide the Faithful, are many times worse than those who make no pretentions of the fact that their hatred and bigotry are volatile. Those who hide themselves behind conservative or Tea Party values in the name of family values, yet with political endeavors in mind, are often more subtle but equally disruptive to the Democracy of America.

I have friends who, I agree to disagree with, who have joked about themselves as being “Rednecks” who have some of the same beliefs but they are totally against the NRA rhetoric and propaganda and would never support the NRA’s rant because even as members they are 100% of the belief, ” That the only people who have to be concerned about having to register a gun or go through checks are probably the people who should never own one.”

I do hope this educates everyone who had the misconception that I was placing blame where done existed, generalizing about a group of people who believe or behave differently from what I reported , or name calling anyone other than Ted Nugent and the NRA leadership in my post. 

I repeat the statements I made in the post are typical beliefs and behavior of the true “Rednecks”, who are only one of many groups who make up the cultural climate of America. Anyone who is insulted by being called a redneck is not in truth probably one but perhaps one who can relate to the same on some level. 

A true redneck is proud of being called a redneck as they see their views as the only acceptable views.

I have said many a time that hatred is bred in and out of ignorance so if this helps educate in regards to just one of the many groups’ beliefs and behaviors then I feel that I have done some good by exposing them. Sadly the same Republican majority who accept this mentality into Their CPAC conventions learned nothing when the American people sent them the clear message that we will not tolerate division or dismissal of the other 47% of Americans amongst us. I hope you join me in making the message loud and clear that Democracy and decency belongs to all of our people in America.

I appreciate that you took out your time, Douglas, to read my post and I do hope you learned something from it. Sadly, the beliefs of the true Rednecks are growing in numbers and shared beliefs and those of us who know the difference need to be the buffer of resistance against such stereo typing and hatred that continues to grow amongst too many of the groups with like beliefs and hatred against any group or individual Americans who do not wish us harm.

The truly honorable and brave amongst us have not dedicated their lives to the cause of elitism, hate, or class warfare but rather to the cause of Democracy. It does us all well to remember that when we celebrate Memorial Day with our loved ones and decorate the graves of those who died and risked their lives so that all of us could have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness without regard to Race, Gender, Creed, Color, or Sexual Orientation.

During this time of great sorrow and travail in our Country, may we all gain a moment of strength and courage as well as be inspired by those Americans who come from all walks of life and diversity, who serve and have served all of us both well and unselfishly. The real heroes’ amongst them risk their most precious gift of life for the rights of All Americans to enjoy the true Blessings of complete and total Freedom from oppression. Thank you! God Bless us all. God Bless America.

And So It Goes…………..

While I took a break to remodel, read, paint and to travel I have experienced the dichotomy of the American and political brain when it comes to words not being put forth into actions and the handling of disasters.

Sadness spread by the hurricane on the East Coast followed much later by the tragedy in NewTown, only to be brought to an increased crescendo in Boston and now the disasters in Moore, Oklahoma will certainly(or should) rain on the parade of the Isis witch hunts or the GOP’s strategy sessions to degrade our President’s attempts to help the American middle class even further.

I will explain myself further if I am the only one who is correlating the dichotomy of the contradiction of the American politics in America:

1. At a time that politicians in Oklahoma are passing the personhood bill to ensure all rights of human life to a fetus who in many cases may not even be viable to sustain life outside of the womb and in other cases can lead to the death of a woman, they fail to see the importance of providing tornado shelters for the alive children in their States.

2. AT a time when Isis appears on the network and cable news assuring the public that he is going to work with President Obama to pass immigration changes he continues to attack and berate Eric Holder and President Obama as being in cahoot’s to lie to The American people and of intimidation and corruption, while off camera.

3. While the GOP and Conservatives in the Democrat Party reach out in an effort to express horror over the NewTown shootings they hands down vote down measures that would and do protect the American people and our children from future attacks in our schools, on our streets and in our homes. 

4. The above mentioned; along with the Tea Party, white supremacists groups,members of Washington D.C.’s political power, lobbyists, and our States show up at the NRA Convention where they help promote the lies to the NRA membership of 75,000 strong that these efforts to safeguard our children are only efforts by the Obama Administration and the Liberals to take away their guns.

5. Anyone who can not see the dichotomy of the Tea Party and Conservative cause that bans equal rights to women in their National Platform but profess concern for future generations while professing to be God Fearing and protectors of the Faith, Constitution, and Democracy clearly are not seeing reality.  To continually operate opposite of speech in action is a clear cut reality of not just the far right, Tea Party, and Conservative cause but also of the way too many amongst us vote.

6. The two headed monster of dichotomy in America is alive and healthy in too many of the burbs and rural areas in the Red States and the Conservative hold outs in the Blue States across America.  I noticed the very large billboards advertising the various number of Churches while we were driving into Pensacola Florida. 

Would Christ truly approve of such commercialization knowing over a 5 year period that those billboards cost in the neighborhood of $100,000.00 per sign and each Church has their own sign of advertisement? Couldn’t that money be better utilized elsewhere, since all the churches are also listed in both the motel room directories as well as the yellow pages? 

I also saw many of the Breadbasket and Bible belt States accusing a caring and compassionate Democracy that treats ALL American’s needs as being the practice of Socialism. Those billboards and signs are interspersed amongst the States that claim Christian values along our highways as well.

Since so many, I noticed, are also driving around with bumper stickers that read: “Put Christ back in Christmas,” to the point they fail to see the over-whelming generosity towards the less fortunate and the most innocent amongst us at Christmas time, of non-Christians and Christians alike, is the most Christ-like behavior we can express; couldn’t we argue that perhaps the majority of us are failing to see the obvious while the politicians and their paid for media are playing us for fools because too many of us are disengaged or in denial?

Where is the outrage when the IRS does question legitimately the huge numbers of groups who clearly are political that hides behind Religious or freedom of ideology just to get tax breaks that are not legal? 

Where is the outrage when the same people who start the witch hunts failed themselves to legislate the necessary funds that would have safeguarded our Embassys over seas? 

Where is the outrage when the innocent amongst us are left unprotected because the members of the GOP refuse to allocate the funding necessary to keep our children safe, or for that matter pass laws that would limit the amount of fire power by limiting the number of bullets in the size of the magazines?

We the People keep speaking to the political leaders across the Nation and their reponse is to actually accuse the government for interfering while we continually see the need for government to help us but our elected officials are refusing to do anything that will help us. 

Perhaps the only part of government we truly do need to down size and eliminate are our elected officials in Congress who claim to be on our side when tragedy strikes but votes against us when they have both a moral responsibility to vote for our needs and are elected to show competency as our elected officials.

While the media broadcasts and the GOP tries to tie a link with the mismanaged, scandalous and sometimes misunderstood depts. of government to our President has anyone even noticed that the deficit is going down, the previously uninsured can now get insurance while healthcare costs have gone down, the interests rates charged to students who are interested in improving their education and skills have remained low, the students who wish to go on with their education are now covered on their parent’s insurance, The GNP (Gross National Product) has doubled, housing has gone up and the economy is improving due to the changes made by the Obama Administration that is putting Americans back to work?

Where is the media reporting on the truth when Americans need to know? Hasn’t our President gone the extra step when it comes to tragedy and disaster in our Nation? Isn’t his concern and efforts for immigration change once more being stymied by those who insist they want the Latino and Hispanic vote, as usual? What bill other than the ones that apply to them personally along with their lobbyist, who purchased them, have the Conservatives in the Senate and the Congress passed in the last five years, that they were not pressured into doing because of their fear of not being re-elected? Have we forgotten that they only begrudgingly passed funds necessary to help those hit by the hurricane on our East Coast or to bring relief to the middle class and unemployed?

I will continue staying tuned in with my concerns while enjoying the retirement that my husband and I balanced the budget for that enables our enjoyment in the last quarter of our lives.

Every now and then when nothing has changed; as the GOP readies it’s strategy, with the help of the TEA Party, to enter under qualified candidates who are financially supported in the 100s of thousands and even millions of dollars and owe their souls to the cause of the Tea Party political machine; over those candidates who would put the American people first, I will check in with my readers. The Conservative and Tea Party groups claims of Social ideology over political based control or greed hurts my ears if it doesn’t yours.

With the 2014 elections coming up in less than 18 months can we not all smell the manure of another attempt to denigrate the Obama Administration
with increased witch hunts and lies spread by the Tea Party as we heard in 2010?

My empathy as always is with the suffering and tragedy of the American people. Will we ever have Republican and Conservative legislatures who acknowledge that the needs of “We the People”, needs to be their first and main concern by doing something in Congress and our States that would indicate the same?

Don’t we already have enough proof of the stall tactics of the GOP and Tea Party sponsored candidates to do nothing but to eliminate the pay scale of the middle class jobs, to lower education abilities,to protect capitalism over the people, or their failure to do that which is right for the American People as equals? Will we the majority of the electoral body get out of denial and get engaged in the true dichotomy of American politics? And so it goes………..

Steubenville Exposes Ugly Truth About Rape

We currently are hearing so many feigned voices of shock and surprise about the rape in Steubenville,Ohio, after having had an election while one Republican candidate for the Senate spoke of legitimate rape after having co-sponsored the same bill with the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Paul Ryan in Congress, to define legitimate rape as opposed to regular rape. Another Virginia Republican candidate called rape and the children born out of the same,” The intent of God.”

If women raped men we could all bet that women would be accused of being Jezebels and inspired by Satan if the reverse happened.  We could also guarantee ourselves it would be discussed as the most evil of acts and no woman would be left severely unpunished, regardless of how the rape occurred.

Men have gotten off with the excuse of going into a blind rage in an act of murder and instead charged with manslaughter when they kill another where women are often charged with murder 1 since the judicial system does not equate fear in women with the level of rage in men.  It totally discounts the idea that women can to act out of rage after years of abuse. Where women need a well documented history of rape or abuse, men need to establish little to no history either supportive or contrary to their own word in order to get a lesser sentence of manslaughter or for lawyers to refuse prosecution for rape charges.

When women are prosecuted for twice the amount of time that men are when death occurs in a domestic dispute, but treated more justly in other charges, we do not need to even guess how much harsher Society would be on a woman rapist than they are on men. Why so much shock and surprise over a statement that has been promoted for generations by the “Good Old Boys”,caused such a stir in the elections this year is beyond me.

Let me take this time to clarify the fact that rape amongst athletes has been taking place for generations just as the mentality has existed for Centuries, “That good girls cannot get pregnant from rape”, has existed as well. for the Republican Party or Press to deny the same is what is at the root of the ignorance in America.  To feign ignorance over rape amongst athletes or the idea that a child born from rape is a “Blessing from God,” are new ideas should leave us all sickened with those who continually dismiss the truth.  These ideas have existed since the beginning of time.

In the minds of the “Good Old Boy System”, and unfortunately some women as well, a legitimate rape is one that involves Street mugging or when a rapist breaks into the home of a woman and rapes her.  Any rapes that happen when a woman is in the company of men or marriage or in the man’s Apartment, barracks, frat house or territory, provocatively dressed or drinking, and the woman is raped it is no big deal to this mentality.  To many of both genders feel when this happens a woman is just asking for sex and rape does not happen under these circumstances.This attitude has always existed over the years, and continues being the attitude of to many.

Etiquette stated years ago, and perhaps still does,”One should never speak of politics,sex, or religion while in mixed company.”  Although I believe we have developed too casual of an attitude towards good manners, I do believe that not talking about politics,sex, or religion has left too many of us brain-dead on the issues that should matter and be discussed by all of us.  When we say the subject bores us then we are the ones who lose.  This post discusses all three subjects.

Allow me to tell you,the not so uncommon stories of its’ day in regards to women and rape.   I change the names and do not name the locations but I will not tell anything but the facts in the telling of these three stories. The names or locations are not important as these stories took place across our Nation in Jane and John Does and in anywhere U.S.A. during the era in which I write, along with years in advance of the same.

One generation does not often tell these kinds of stories from previous generations because it has to often been bred into the older generations to keep secrets in the past, or perhaps with time memory does get lost, behind both denial and disease.I begin from the truth of my own memory, that is still well-preserved. I Thank You for that Dear Lord, as I also inherited the mouth to tell the truth! Way back when there were the Landers Sisters writing and publishing the Nations problems, I was nicknamed Ann Landers since both men and women felt comfortable in telling me things that they would not even tell their husbands or wives.

1. It was the Spring of 1959 and an eighth grade girl ,who was rumored to  have been molested by a family member, was dating a young man,and together they had sex,previously,to the young girl attending a keg party with highschool athletes.  She was severely gang raped that night, as a result of drinking at the party.  No local lawyer, would take her case. The young victim had a wealthy aunt who lived 75 miles distance from the town, who could afford to pay for a lawyer, so they were able to hire an out-of-town lawyer.

When the case came before the judge, the victim’s boyfriend had been rounded up and forced to acknowledge that he had sexual relations with the girl who was the victim in this story.  The Judge threw the gang rape case out of Court and his finding stated,”No young man much less young boys could be held responsible for rape when the young girl in question, had previously de-flowered herself and was drinking alcohol under age.”Nothing was said about the young boys drinking illegally,of course.

2. In the Winter of 1964 a Catholic Priest, who the Church knew had a History of molesting young women, was given dispensation from duty as a Parish Priest and instead sent on the rounds of filling in as a speaker while conducting retreats in Convents and All Girls Catholic boarding Schools.  The same happened during this time with Priests celebrating retreats in all Boys Schools, when they had a history of molesting young boys.  The Catholic Church has come clean about their history but so many other Private Schools and Colleges are still denying that this still continues in their schools.  The Penn State Coach is NOT an uncommon story but just one of many.

3.  Going back to my farthest memory, any Sports player or Coach who brought fame to their sports program whether it was highschool, college, or the pros, were entitled to take anything they wanted to take, regardless of the size of the Town, City, or Religious affiliation. If the athlete is part of the team but not a star player then they will be used as the fall guy for the stars to remain clean. Unless it was burglary, where a Store refused to drop charges but in most cases even they could be bought off, if the athlete was a star and changed his ways.  Most Teams, while traveling elsewhere to play outside of their own town or City will have a team of scouts scouting out the local scene for a Party for them to return to.  These Parties since the 1960′s have both girls of questionable morality as well as virgins rounded up to attend.

Highschool girls have always been amongst the attendees of both sports and fraternity parties. It may be cool to a 16-year-old virgin, or not, to think they look older than they do and to go ahead and drink but when these girls do, it excuses the boys from showing the girls, respect. To many believe that when a girl says “NO” they are only teasing and instead they really want sex.  Boys have been told for generations that some girls need more convincing and when they say “No”, they really mean yes. Dress and drinking in women has always been grounds for rape, if they get drunk or even if drugs have been placed in their drinks, at these parties. I certainly do not accept that this mentality has ever been right but pretending we have not only tolerated it but promoted it for generations, makes it even more deplorable now when we deny the same.

A woman or young girl who is unconscious from drugs or alcohol has never been hands off in the minds of some boys and men and to pretend that this behavior does not happen or has not happened in the past is just another lie of the “Good Old Boy System.” I do not deny that there are some girls whose morality can make some mens’ behavior, pristine, but until we accept that prostitutes are raped, then we deny reality.

We fail women and our sisters alike, when we hold all women responsible for the behavior of a few.  All women have always been held responsible for those few women; where as all men and their behavior has been excused because of the behavior of the few women, who would set up men and yell “rape.” Rape is as unpleasant for most women to have to divulge the details and to relive the rape in a Court of law, regardless of their background, as it is for a man to get his penis removed, and yet we have always blamed victims of rape, for causing rape. Women, not men, are raped again by our judicial system.

Regardless, if it is a house party or a frat house across America the boys and men of the crowd are egged on to feel that rape is justified because “Good Girls” would not be there drinking if they didn’t want sex, has always been the mentality of the “Good Old Boy System”This mentality has existed in the “bad boys” as well as the Sports teams going back at least to the 1950′s when I first heard the stories told to me by the girls who had been raped.  Going to a man’s house or apt. under the guise of having a cup of coffee or to listen to his music, has existed for just as long, as a reason for rape.  It doesn’t have to be alcohol and to pretend that it does is only promoting the same lies. I’m sure those older than myself will tell my readers the same statement of fact, if they care to be honest with their grandchildren.

For a bunch of right-wing Republican men and the media that backs them,to feign ignorance or to act flabbergasted at the same while they continue to deny women,that this has been and remains the mentality amongst the “Good Old Boy System,” for centuries, sickened me in the Republican elections this year.  The fact that the media is now pointing a finger at Steubenville,Ohio, as being small town and unique in their cover up of the most recent rape being broadcasted, leaves me equally sick.

No one who has ever served as a cheerleader or been part of the popular or un-popular group could not possibly have attended highschool and had a successful Sports team, without knowing that this behavior took and takes place whether they were or are girls or boys.  The mentality that allows whole communities to protect rape and the behavior and mentality that broadcasts,” That these women deserve to be raped”,comes from a background in which we began early, hearing these stories as always being the fault of women. Too many women who serve on Juries are even worse than male juries when it comes to pointing a finger at the rape victims. To many times the lives of all boys, girls, and women who are raped, are destroyed by the men and women who protect these lies.

To deny that as a fact, has to make all of us ask,”Just how far has America slipped into denial?’  Will we deny that 67 Republican Tea Party members attempted to hold up funding for the Hurricane Sandy victims while FEMA was saying they were going broke and could not pay back the families who had paid into their flood Insurance?

Will we remain in denial of the fact that 183 Republican Congressmen and Senators could have cared less if it cost the middle class 100s of thousands of jobs, if we had gone over the fiscal cliff?  Did we elect them because their ideology is more important to us, than are our children and elderly, who will go hungry or without effective medical care? Will we all do better living on the Republican and the N.R.A. ideology that makes us feel unsafe without a gun in our homes even though a third of all deaths of children result as our having a gun in our homes. Will their ideology make us a better Democracy if we cannot provide for our families?

Does the N.R.A. lobbying the Republican Congress, who followed through on their bidding, to disallow funding to the Disease Control Center, make us feel even safer against Disease? If this sounds like a stupid analogy to those of you who protect the Republican Congress, rape, and guns, then just think of what you, yourselves, must sound like to the rest of the World!

Will we keep denying the fact that 50 some economists outside of Washington are saying that the only thing that is stagnating the American Economy is the 67 Tea Party members voting against the needs of the people along with the far right in Congress, who clearly want to see government go broke before they serve the needs of our elderly? Even Wall Street has joined the side of the Democrats on the damage being done to Business growth and jobs by the uncertainty of the Republican Congress. How much more can we deny until denial renders us all brainless when it comes to human decency and common sense?

I ask you,”Are we now going to pass the blame on to a bunch of kids in Steubenville,Ohio, for doing what men have always done or are we going to finally acknowledge the injustice of it, ALL! The guilty in Steubenville needs to be prosecuted along with others in our Nation.  I certainly do not mean to make allowances for the people responsible for such an ugly crime in Steubenville, Ohio, but it is our Nation’s problem. We all must take responsibility for denying these problems have always existed and still do exist.

We begin by eliminating the mindset that allows us to remain in denial, to the point that those amongst us simply accept it as “Just being the way it has always been,” before another election brings in more of the same mentality that cripples us as a Democracy. To accept it as being the way it is, has always been a second crime of humanity, against both our children and women. Those who tell us they want to go back to the 1950′s morality are lying to all of us about the truth that existed then just as it does today.

I warn all parents to think twice when they think popular,”is all that,” because a cheerleader and a popular girl are twice as likely to be raped than is a less popular girl. These girls also peak early just as the ball players do, and their best memories are as children or in highschool.  They learn ,too often, to settle for less and have a far greater chance of becoming pregnant as teenagers.  The “nerds”, on the other hand, have far greater statistics when it comes to those who go on to challenging careers following a College education and happy and contented lives.  If we parents cannot consider long-term results as a priority in our lives, then how can we expect those younger than ourselves to have common sense?

When we set up our own children to continue under the system that many of us tried to stop, we punish our children for the sins of the parents.” When we lack common decency,our children lack the same.  When we make everything about ourselves then our children do as well. When we as adults deny truth of fact and our children are raised on the same, we create the monster that often leads to more half-truths and false accusations against the victims of our Society.

Ultimately the same mentality leads to an increase failure in families and a bigger concern of increased crime in children at a much younger age. We cannot deny that the viciousness of our youth crimes are not increasing with the mentality that blames the victims over the perpetrators. As a Society brain washed in gun ownership our children have emerged as the losers. We need to hold both parents responsible for the failure of the child while we increase our endeavors to spot and treat both mental illness and drug addiction as the diseases that they are.  We need to give trained professionals who recognize the need for early intervention and parents the ability to get the help these children need through our Court Systems.

Those who claim family values would not need to talk about family values, if they had any.  Conversation along the lines of family values or the worsening of morality ultimately gives our Churches a bad name for failing at their jobs. The Conservative right is doing a bang up job of destroying Religion along with the Republican Tea Party, when they are not doing it to themselves. When questionable and charismatic Religion preaches the “Prosperity Gospels” while bleeding money from the poor and middle class and then blame the poor and middle class for their own poverty due to a lack of Faith, it is time we all voice our outrage. It takes the voice of the people to stand up to the injustices taking place and have taken place under our noses for generations. It begins with placing the emphasis on the right priorities without attacking the victims.

It never solves anything to talk when we need to be acting to stop the mentality in all of the new generations while charging those,” who do not get it”,in a Court of Law.  The mentality of,”Boys will be Boys,” has always laid at the root of the corruption in morality, since the beginning of mankind. If we want to make a difference, then we must begin today in telling the younger generations, who are our future, the ugly truth of yesterday.

To tell our grandchildren that children and women experienced a kinder gentler time in History, is and always has been a lie. Any adult who refuses to accept reality, needs to also accept that they are jeopardizing the future of their children and grandchildren, when they choose denial of the facts, over the truth. When we know better then we need to do better as a Society and as a Nation of laws.

To blame Steubenville alone is ludicrous, because if we leave them carrying the bag for what has been wrong for generations,around the World, we leave all of our children unprotected against rape,guns, and our own stupidity.  For the sake of our children, we must begin with changing the mentality, that we have allowed to go on.  We can no longer deny our own behavior and motives when technology shows us the truth and refuses to tolerate lies.

The Irrational NRA Leadership

When Wayne LaPierre, Vice President of the NRA held his press conference today, and got up to speak I got so sick to my stomach of his propaganda that I hate to write this post drawing attention to his speech.  If I don’t talk about it and point out just how severely insensitive the man was then, I like to many others will let that type of mentality pass off to those who do not know the heart of the American citizen, think his brand of callousness lies in the hearts of the majority of Americans.  As expected he blamed everyone but the NRA. Politicians politicizing it, demonic behavior, gun free school zones as an advertisement for the disturbed,video games, the lack of guards in our schools, the entertainment industry and the media.

If anyone read my post yesterday entitled,”Why Do We Lead The World In Suicide’ then you know I pointed out the cultural differences that we all must share in and the responsibility we all must take to keep our children safe.  We do not need guns in schools because they offer a false sense of security to those who carry a gun.  They also offer a challenge to those like Timothy McVeigh who went to a bomb where armed guards were, instead.

The facts are that the majority of us who own a gun will not and cannot shoot to kill another human being and we will either freeze up when called on to do so or we will shoot wildly into a crowd and kill more innocent people. Even policemen, who are trained to use a gun, know to shoot their guns is the last possible choice they have to make,since we have an established record of collateral damage and more lives lost as a result of having to use a gun in a crowd, throughout our History. Armed guards in banks and air ports know not to shoot where people are gathering.  The guards only end up being another victim when a person enters the space or establishment and far more guards are killed in businesses,Court Houses, or banks than are armed robbers, because they do not want to harm the innocent around them.

I don’t know what kind of sick home Wayne LaPierre grew up in or raised his children in but his statement that,” today’s children will see 16,000 murder scenes by the time they reach the ripe old age of 18,” is so totally inaccurate that if it wasn’t such a serious subject it would be laughable.  Movies of sexual or violent content are rated in America and children who do not have an ID of proof of age cannot get into a PG13 or R rated movie.  I know that to be a fact, even when they are accompanied by an adult.

I don’t doubt there are irresponsible parents who could care less about the movies their children watch at home but to declare them as the norm is totally adding salt to the wound of parents who do not allow their children to watch these movies or play these games.  Many homes have controls on their computers and televisions that will not allow the viewing of these shows and television warns adults when something is not appropriate or wrong for children to watch as well.  Even our news programs will place a warning prior to showing it.

Facts number two are that the very same movies named and the very same video games that Wayne LaPierre named play in Countries like Britain and Japan and are the very same video games played in both Countries. A ten-year study shows that they do not influence children to kill but violence in a home acted out by parents can and does. The Industrial or Civilized Nations have as much porn and as many people who prostitute.  They work to buy and over spend as well.  All the same things we have in our culture they have as well.

Britain and Japan are as civilized and advanced as we are and have the same kind of Democracies as we do. Britain’s Military is as strong as our own. The prices and costs in Japan are extravagant along side of what we pay for the same. The raining London skies and the Cramped Tokyo Apts. lead to as much depression and thoughts of suicide in these Countries as much as they do in our own but they do not stigmatize mental illness the way we do. They have free treatment facilities where anyone who is suffering from mental illness or delusional thinking can get help free, at any hour.

What separates all other advanced or civilized Countries from the United States is they do not have a powerful lobbyist that has brain washed gun enthusiasts into believing that the right to own a gun is a higher right than the right for people to be able to live.  When murder happens they do not have a Wayne Lapierre blaming everyone and everything else but themselves for the murders in their Country because they have gun laws that lessen those deaths.  Britain averages 600 murders per year in total and Japan has practically none while the United States has 18,000 suicides or 32,000 murders per year.

The facts are that no other civilized Nation tolerates the mentality that the NRA has and the irrational thinking that they hold nor do they use the lies or the scare tactics and the despicable words the NRA uses to blame everyone but themselves. The National Rifle Association leadership, needs to convince gun enthusiasts that everyone else is wrong and they are right otherwise they may lose their own power through lost of membership dues.

They are amongst the most powerful lobbyists in the Nation and no conservative politician from either the Democrat or the Republican Party can get elected without the support of the NRA.  Other Countries refuse to fight murder and suicide by using guns to protect against guns because they are rational enough to understand that people cannot kill unless they have months of training or are disturbed enough to commit suicide/murder. These certified programs that Texas and Utah like to talk about are three-days of watching videos and training at a gun range while shooting at a target in order to get a certificate to carry a gun in school.

To give teachers and school workers,  in places like Utah and Texas a certificate of completion of  a gun training course does not qualify them for training that allows another human being to fire under threat of gun fire or to kill another human being while looking into the eyes of someone who is just a kid themselves. How much more desensitizing of our behavior towards the power of the gun over the value of life are we going to tolerate in teaching our children, as a Nation, before we yell enough! Do we really want our youngest and most innocent strapped with the knowledge or fear that their teacher or the nice man with a gun or themselves can be killed at any given moment?

Teachers are trained to keep our children safe and we want their thoughts to go first towards protecting our children, over running in fear or stopping to kill. Teachers who care are not trained to kill the next young man who walks into the building armed to shoot. Many times they are students or past students of theirs and they are not going to be able to shoot to kill.  It is irrational thinking on our part to think they can and equally as unfair as to think they should. We may think if it is our lives or the lives of a child we all can shoot to kill but it is pure and literal nonsense. Firing a gun is not like going out to the paint ball course and shooting paint balls at each other. The fear or the need to survive under pressure of assault in the untrained, takes over control of all rational thoughts that we have when our lives are not under threat of danger. We freeze,run, or if we shoot we shoot wildly injuring far more others than lives we save.  Firing at a target is not the same as looking a human being in the eyes and firing.

It takes a well trained or a disturbed mind to do so and even then that trauma follows those who are trained perfectly, the rest of their lives.  Ask any military personnel or policemen how devastating the effects are of taking another life in defense of the Country, is on their lives, even when it is done for a higher honor.  I have lived with the results of those who fought in wars and too many times they are haunted by it forever. Many come home and turn to alcohol just to live past the nightmares that enter their sleeping hours or become workaholics in an effort to forget.  Their marriages and their lives quite often fall apart.

The mistake the media made was to allow that kind of propaganda that is spread across America by the NRA and some of its followers to even be broadcasted. As soon as they knew they had been had by the National Rifle Association they should have shut them off just as they do when a politician says something that is not of their political persuasion.  When this propaganda is spread it only leads to desensitize the minds of those who are already desensitized to the point that it starts making perfectly good sense to them.

No person who hunts wild game, even after hours of target practice, will escape what is known as buck fever. It takes practice to be able to shoot game animals before becoming an accurate enough shot to make the bullet connect with the game animal being shot. Even seasoned bird hunters will experience buck fever when switching to larger game animals.  Buck fever is the name commonly given to the hunter who will both sub-consciously and automatically pull up on their gun when shooting rather than to kill the animal.

It is not an automatic reaction in clear thinking humans to kill with a gun on instinct and it requires months to train people to kill out of a necessity or a higher pursuit of justice. Both the Police Academies and Military training requires men and women shooting blanks or live rounds above the heads of those in the fields to acclimate them to the reality of being able to fire at a human being every bit as much as it takes hours to train humans to remain calm, in order to kill out of necessity in war or when under attack. These are not normal traits that we adapt to on a first reaction under attack.

The guns Mr. NRA said the media is lying about and the politicians are trying to find fame in and that are being politicized hold magazines that leads to massive deaths.  Does it really matter if they are military or assault weapons when they fire in rapid succession?  Don’t they kill just as quickly and destroy the lives of our innocent just as well. They certainly cannot be used for hunting anymore than the ammunition they protect can be used to hunt when its only purpose is to pierce the vests of policemen and police women who are killed in the act of duty by the same.

I have acknowledged that it is our culture and the love of the gun  that needs to share responsiblity with the NRA for gun deaths in America but it does not hold a candle to the deaths that are caused by people arming themselves with a false bravado of thinking they will be able to shoot to kill.   Nothing inspires the fantasy  or gives forth the power to kill more than those who are too meek to murder or encourages those who are disturbed enough to murder faster, than the thrust of a gun. The gun feeds those fantasies in the minds of the disturbed faster than anything else that they can do.

Those who will cause murder have no conscious and we cannot try to rationalize  our minds with theirs. I repeat, people who are armed are killed  far more often by the perpetrators than what the perpetrators are killed. They always have the element of surprise over us and a great many of them do not have the same fear of death because many of them are seeking out suicide by cop.

Guns in the hands of those who are not thinking realistically only offers us a false sense of security that is quickly over taken by the perpetrators. Those who are disturbed do not hear the noises and sounds we hear as many are disturbed or can only hear the voices in their own heads.  They do not even hear the screams around them that make us run out of fear but as soon as we think we can pull a gun and shoot we will be dead with or without our three-day certificate that gives us a license to carry a gun. It is a fact!

I am sick of the hate and the fear tactics of the NRA and if you viewed the same that I did and could not see that expressed yourselves, I can only respond that Americans are much more sicker than I thought.  The NRA fear and propaganda tactics are not only false but they are irrational and have no place in the power that runs America. It sickens me that such trash talk was allowed to be spoken on our media services at a time we are already sicken by the deaths of our innocent, by guns.

Instead of talking about banning ammunition and magazines that only serves to kill humans along with high powerful and assault weapons, Wayne Lapiere and the NRA paid for monkeys successfully changed the subject to arming personnel in our schools where our children would be subjected to even more violence.  Anyone who thinks the bullies or gangs who hang out in some of our schools across America would not find a gun a worthy challenge to be taken, are not being realistic about what really does go on when the disturbed are made to feel powerful behind a gun.

What can I say other than may the Season offer some design of light into the hearts and minds of all of us and may we be infused by the Holy Spirit and Guardian that guides us towards common sense and intelligence to know the difference.  May God help us all in letting the goodness in all of us shine through the insanity of it all. God Bless us and God Bless America.

Why Do We Lead The World In Suicide?

Today I will offer my own opinion along with established fact that leads me personally to believe what the problem is behind the increase in murder/suicide in America.

We are second in the World in front of other advanced Nations after Montenegro in  percentage of suicides, where such records are kept.  When we think of ourselves as the Nation that people from other Countries want to immigrate to, we have to ask ourselves as to why our suicides are so high?

We  again begin with the N.R.A. interference into gun registration and add to that Americans’ love of the gun and its accessibility to people in America.  When the NRA not only fights against gun laws but also fights against people having to show proof of the lack of mental illness or treatment for depression when buying a gun, then guns end up in the hands of too many people who should never own guns.  They spend millions in litigation to fight privacy laws in favor of gun ownership. With the sponsorship of gun shows by the NRA across the Nation that require no waiting period what-so-ever and the illegal guns of street sales, America is flooded with guns.

Living in the land of guns and honey brings along with it the stress that often goes along with keeping up with the Jones. People do not miss that which they cannot hold,own, or goes unseen in their lives. American workers work longer hours in more extended days straight than any other Nation in the World.  We have fewer and less holiday and vacation days of any other Civilized Nation. We out work all other Nations in the World. Todays’s workers work longer hours than any generation has before them.

A person who struggles to feed their family or to provide basics are not nearly as likely to feel that they are missing out as those who are accustomed to getting what they want over what they need.  If we have paid attention to school shootings at all, we must have noticed that the majority of these children are white males who come from upper middle class or wealthy homes when murder/suicide does occur. It is much easier never to have had it than it is to have had it and to lose.   Americans many times marry their jobs since they spend many more hours on the job than they do at home, and when they find their jobs pulled out from underneath them it can and does trigger murder/suicide in the work place.

We are a Capitalist Society that invests in trade over the needs of the people. We are the only civilized Nation in the World that does not pay the entire healthcare costs of 100% of its people but yet we remain the richest Nation in the World. We  subsidize commerce to a far greater degree than do all other Nations just as our costs of the greatest military in the World cost 10 times more that what the rest of the World combined pays to maintain a defense system.

We live under stress every day of the week and often with wants that we either can’t provide for or feel we need. Many of us have not learned to make sacrifices now in order to enjoy life later. The exposure to goods in America,technology,clothing stores, and all other retail stores leave us wanting or feeling we are being denied.

With the breaking of the backs of our Unions across America by men like Sam Adelson who has vowed millions to eliminate them and the Tea Party Governors along with Republican legislatures  supporting the right to work laws without the same coming up for vote in our States, the middle class are dropping $5500.00 per year. Despite the facts, 47% of the American people who are primarily middle class voted to guard the gate of the 1% by voting Republican in our past elections. Stress in America is the number one killer because of the message driven home by too many for the need to own more, at the expense of the middle class.

When we started closing down mental Institutions because of the absolute abuse that was triggered by the lack of laws protecting our citizens, we went the other way and left our loved ones defenseless when it came to getting help for mental illness.

Previously to closing down the mental Institutions across America and the passage of the Equal rights amendment husbands could declare their wives unfit to raise the children and have her committed without even a record of instability. The husbands word alone was enough and many times he could get a Dr. to agree to the same without even seeing the woman. People who suffered from vision or hearing loss or were slow learners were committed into Institutions.  When the laws were lax towards those who could commit others, so much abuse reigned across America that it led to shutting them all down.

We are now in a cycle where those who are desperate for need of treatment for mental illness cannot get the help they need.  It is too easy to prescribe drugs without any follow-up or counseling.  Some general practitioners along with chiropractors, will prescribe both narcotics and antidepressants that lead to both aggression as well as further anxiety and depression.  In America if a person knows the right people or wants to find someone who will prescribe or supply drugs or guns all things are possible.  It only takes money to get whatever an American citizen wants both legally and illegally.

Even with good counseling and a drug plan that works parents cannot force adult children to remain on their treatment program.  The very symptom of some of the most grievous of diseases that lead to bouts of severe depression is that the patient will be made to feel better and believe that they can quit treatment which only aggravates the disease and makes it worse.

Drugs are readily available in America to both Street people and those who start out life as high achievers.  We are a Country that has a high tolerance for both guns and drugs while our Conservative politicians appear to be against the same with public messages over the years. They in reality will never face off against the lobbyists or the NRA who put millions into their pockets for re-election. Illicit drugs in America makes up 33% of our Gross National Product. Many killings in America are as a result of the flow of illegal drugs and the need to protect the distribution of the same.

We have 17 Republican controlled States that have passed the “Stand Your Ground Laws” with 6 more States discussing arming teachers. Too many amongst us have no concept of the danger of guns because it has been romanticized as part of our culture and of the old Wild West. When these same States are talking about arming teachers they are ignoring that any gun on school property is susceptible to causing collateral damage even in the hands of trained policemen.  They also are denying that even guns that are safe guarded in schools can be easily over taken by the gangs of bullies who often hang out in our school systems and intimidate teachers. When sliding steel pocket doors that close instantaneously and are impenetrable to those who threaten entry  from the outside are being used in facilities across the World the mentality of the American mind instead goes to more guns to protect against guns.

When people who suffer from mental illness are not confined for their own good or their own needs because Insurance Companies refuse to pay and  Obama care is ridiculed and fought against in sectors in fits of rage, then we leave ourselves and our loved ones vulnerable to the stresses and ills along with fits of depression that can and do lead to suicide. Instead of treating our mentally ill and  drug addicts we imprison them.

Any Nation of wealth encompasses people who make comparisons because too many times the politicians themselves will belittle or blame the have-nots while promoting those who have. The Republican Party appeared to accelerate that belief this past election with attacks against the poor in their own leadership and the need to adopt the Ryan Plan in order to deny the needs or in most cases the rights of the people. When those who are feeling rejected from loss of jobs and incomes, or are being bullied by others, are made to find their own uniqueness a fault rather than a plus, we leave open the potential to not only suicide but we harbor those who would take down our children with them.

We are a Society who puts too much importance and stress on the things we own, on beauty,skin color,appearance,money, and popularity. We encourage sameness or like beliefs, over encouraging individual expression.  We too often fail to encourage value in the uniqueness of each individual to express that uniqueness but instead demand that we all share the same belief system. Those who fail to fit into a cli’que of like mentality are often shunned,ridiculed, and bullied.  We support violence in the games we play and the movies we watch.  The movie industry knows and understands that movies without sex or violence will too often fail at attendance and revenues.

Our educational system is not supported by the Conservative causes and ranks low in comparison to other civilized Nations as a result of it. Bright children are too often criticized for their superior intelligence and not supported by a system that inspires them up to their abilities to succeed, due to limited funds granted to the School districts in our States.To many amongst us push our children in all categories that will gain them popularity over education and in doing so, to often it leads to mediocrity while insisting they excel in sports.  When highschool coaches feel that winning is the only thing that will save their jobs they offer steroids and muscle enhancers to their young players and it starts a panacea of corruption in our sports’ programs. The stress to always have more and to do better leads us in advancement in many fields in the world,  but it also breeds the ravages of failure, in those who feel as though they cannot achieve or have been left behind.

We self medicate on drugs and alcohol to cover up feelings of inadequacy or pain, because we place a astigmatism against mental illness. We do not tolerate those who expose our own weaknesses. The people who cause such carnage as was done in NewTown Connecticut, are usually those who are coming down off of a bad drug trip, are feeling neglected, powerless,weak,or worthless. Behind a gun they feel omnipotent and powerful and ready to show others who they often feel have either ignored them or made them to feel less of the person than they are.

We as a Society ignore and deny the power of the gun in the hands of those who would not otherwise kill, because of the control of the N.R.A. in our Nation or the fear tactics used against us to protect ourselves. They are not the only ones who use fear tactics as home alarm companies call and exaggerate home invasions in areas where none exist along with those who promote gun sales and under ground bunkers. The home alarm companies calls are being made in homes illegally as I have received the same  even though I am on the government “Do not call list.” They get around the law by claiming to offer a free prize. People rush gun stores and buy military weapons that have no business in any of our homes each time they think they will be denied their guns by law.

Those who act out in total disregard of human life do so because they lack empathy for anyone but themselves or they feel disrespected. In neighborhoods where drugs are sold on street corners,others die over drug sales. Others feel that they have been so ridiculed that they can only seek justice behind a gun. They may suffer from irrational beliefs  but they know full well that they will leave behind pain and destruction. Many times they feel that they will be a person whose name will go down in history as having made a difference, while knowing full well the misery they cause.  We as a Nation have romanticized people like Jesse James,Billy the Kid, Bonney and Clyde, Annie Oakley and other outlaws of the old West as heroes over generations, and in doing so we have romanticized the use of the gun to settle disputes.

Those who cause a silent suicide or one that does not draw attention to the outside World often do so because they are suffering, or cannot face the future, or feel that they are a burden on their loved ones.  Others are fearful of the future because they become so steeped in Religious conviction of Armageddon, or that God wants them or their children saved  from a sinful World, or suffer severe mental illness to the point they hear voices from the devil to kill. Other suicide/murders are committed over child custody or domestic disputes when they have access to a gun. Often times those who are afraid that they are lacking because Societal norms do not accept them for the person they are, will feel that life is not worth living or are driven by the need to gain revenge and do not consider the pain they leave behind because the act of murder/suicide itself, is most often an act of “Me Only.”

People who are sensitive to those who criticize, and often times are made to feel they are inadequate or weak are made to feel powerful behind the gun. It is just as likely to be a meek personality as it is an aggressive personality that uses a gun to kill.  America has 18,000 suicides a year where other Civilized Nations, who keep records of suicide, do not reach higher than into the 200′s. In total of murders and suicides we have 32,000 people lost each year. All other advanced Nations who have a much lower suicide and murder rate offer free mental health services that give parents more control over the treatment of mental health and much stricter gun laws.  It does not take a rocket Scientist to understand why America excels in the numbers of suicides and murders over all other advanced Nations in the World

Along with the greatest Democracies in the World comes the freedom to misuse that freedom through both abuse of others and self-inflicted wounds. With freedom comes the need to protect its citizens through just laws.  Americans should have a much greater right to live over the right to own guns.  We need to do a better job in understanding that our people as well as our children should never have to feel that they are less than the need or greed of Capitalism in a free Society. If we keep electing a Republican majority in Congress and in our States, who refuses to act in the best interests of our people, then don’t we have some responsibility to bear for the same? We are coming out lacking as a Nation because of our own lack of demand and insistence on the fact that our politicians can do better.

It brings some comfort to me to see that at long last we have hope at least that those responsible will do something but the proof still remains in the pudding. I long for the days when we can again promote the many qualities of all of the American people who are supported by all of our elected politicians, instead of a few.  America is still the best Country in the World but we need to be honest about our faults in order to make much-needed changes. May all of our politicians be strong enough to stand up against the lobbyists and brave enough to bring forth all the good qualities that are representative of America.  Wishing all of us hope this Holiday Season!

Grief And Grieving

According to the process of teaching, “All truth passes through three stages, First it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”–Arthur Schopenhauer

Many of us feel a genuine sorrow each time that we hear of the deaths of children or mistreatment of pets, even when we have not known or spent time with them.  Not all people do, nor do they need to feel guilt if they don’t.  Not all people bond with children or pets and cultural differences in the way we accept death, also plays a role in why some people will grieve profoundly while others feel a compassion and act differently from those who grieve the lost of strangers. This was very prevalent in the attacks of 9/11, as well. Some people also remain more resilient while they prefer to spring into action first.

The NewTown tragedy, is one of many killings of our children by those who use guns but it leaves a profound lost on all of us as a Nation, because there are so many 6 and 7 year olds who have lost their lives.  Even those who do not have any particular fondness for children, can remember those hopeful years of their own lives, and feel that this tragedy leaves them with a genuine sense of regret for the lives lost.

We generally accept the Kubler-Ross model of grieving even though it has its share of critics as well.  The study was based on people who were terminally ill and how they coped with the lost of their health and the acceptance of death and they later applied the same emotions to all lost of that which we are bonded to.  I repeat the 5 steps here;

1.  Denial—”I feel fine”

2.  Anger—-”Why me?  It’s not fair.”

3.  Bargaining–”I’ll do anything for a few more years or one more moment”.

4. Depression—”I’m so sad, why bother with anything”.

5.  Acceptance–”Its going to be o.k.”

Others have added two other emotions and they are shock which most commonly accompanies denial and leaves us feeling numb and guilt.   Guilt is common with care givers who feel they should have been able to do more or with survivors who are involved in the same act of violence or car accident or in death of any kind. It is also common is spouses and siblings,especially when a twin is lost through death or separation.  It directly affects those who fight together in wars, sometimes for the rest of their lives.

Emotions can also be very varied without fitting a pattern of any kind.  They can run from solemn to trepidation to anxiety or to rage and disgust.  Many times feelings of jealousy or envy or even hate can follow when we see other children graduate with their classes or marry or we see other spouses with their mates, even after we feel that our sadness has dissipated. It is important that those who are experiencing many ranges of emotions are not alone but instead with friends and family members until the pain or shock that often triggers these erratic or difficult to deal with emotions calm down. When we are more clear of our own emotions then we can reflect on our own if we have the capacity to do so and know our own strengths and weaknesses. Any shooting of any nature often leads to temporary trauma in all of us.

In years past, the Medical Association did  not talk about post traumatic stress disorder in other situations outside of war.  As modern techniques expose more about the human brain, it is now more generally accepted that PTSD can and does exist on many levels of trauma and often times does accompany shock when death is totally unexpected.

The important thing with grieving is that we all know that there is not a clear-cut pattern for those who grieve.  Many emotions can be involved just as the more resilient or people with a history or exposure to death will feel fewer emotions.  Some may spend days crying while others who have been exposed to death can move on with few tears and gain acceptance earlier.  It is when grieving goes on for months into years with a total sense of helplessness that we should be certain to get professional help without any sense or feeling like we are weak or a failure.

We all have different ways of coping throughout life and a different time-frame in which we grieve.  Some find genuine laughter over memories of loved ones their healing tool.  Others will memorialize their loved one while still others who are use to solving their own problems in life will remain isolated amongst family members and choose to grieve alone.  Some will feel a responsibility and duty to do something first, and then grieve later when things become more quiet. Others will turn to Religion and the hope offered through its teachings while others will commit their lives to doing for others in an effort to feel good about themselves and to help lift the veil of sadness. Some delay going back to work and grieve immediately and find it only takes a few months to reach acceptance.  Others lose themselves in work and delay their grieving, because they feel a need to analyze the reasons why, first. When they finally accept the fact that there are no answers to the why they move on to the acceptance of death.

The main thing is that we acknowledge that not all things are great and that we do understand a necessity to grieve with the understanding that it should not be a lifetime condition that brings debilitating sadness. Some people will feel better talking about the death while others will want to choose who they discuss it with, if they wish to discuss it at all.  Many times those who grieve will blame the innocent bystander or take out their bad feelings on the closest people to them.

Grieving takes a high level of understanding sometimes. We cannot excuse poor behavior as being normal,and need  to understand that we may need to learn three simple words such as:”I am sorry.” Some people become over protective or obsessive out of fear of another loss during the period of grieving.  They will sometimes use poor behavior in order to deliberately drive away others who they love because they cannot bear the lost of another person in their lives. People who have a previous history of relieving bad feelings in themselves,on those closest to them, many times should ask for help during this time, while those who are close by understand this is not a time to judge, harshly.

Too many times we get stuck in one step of grieving and rather than feel the pain or get grief counseling will turn to alcohol or drugs and only compound our own grieving.  Grieving needs to take place, as the longer we delay it, the more problems will arise in the family as a result of our doing so. It is not uncommon for parents to delay their own grieving while making sure their children are o.k. first.  It is important that we understand that if we are not well then our children will not be  either.  Alcohol and drugs in moderation may help with sleep in the earlier days but should never replace or be used to deny the feelings of pain that we need to heal from, through grieving our loss.

We can grieve while also feeling genuine appreciation for having had our loved ones in our lives, and many recover as a result of the same. Some want to leave pictures up as a reminder of their loved ones, while others want to remove all reminders of them.  Some will continue to celebrate birthdays while others will feel a need to mourn. People are all different in their expressions of sorrow and we need to respect the same, but also remain cognizant of those who need professional help in order to cope. It is o.k to find moments of laughter and to look back after a few months or a couple of years and to acknowledge that we were not always rational during our grieving process.  Very many aren’t.

It is important that we understand that various levels of grieving in a marriage often leads to disputes that can lead to divorce if one of the members in the marriage are ready to move on and remember the good moments shared by the deceased while the other mate is still asking,”Why Me?” Grieving too many times will lead to intolerance in couples while it will bring others closer together since no one else can entirely understand their shared lost as clearly as they can.

We can often times treat those closest to us, during the grieving time pretty poorly, if we do not move ahead with the grieving process.  Children as young as 18 months can feel the loss of the bond of a sibling or parent and grieve. Children who lose their best friends can withdraw and be afraid of initiating new friends because to do so feels like betrayal to them. They can not always voice their feelings, or understand them, themselves. Children grieve differently from adults in that they often times do not cry but instead will act out.

Children may have episodes of unexplained rage or with draw into themselves.  When adults grieve it is especially important that when a child loses a sibling or a friend at an early age, that we understand that the children are losing the person in their lives that has always been part of their lives that they have confided in and made plans with for a future as well.  The most neglected lost of loved ones often does lie in the lack of understanding for the death of a friend or sibling, when they lose their friend or sibling too early.

The lost of a sibling is difficult for adults to deal with, but too few amongst us, understands the difficulty as the sympathy and understanding goes more often to  the parents,spouses, or their children. Siblings are often called on to be strong and to act as spokes people instead. The loss of a twin can compare to the lost of a spouse as many ideas,hopes,jokes,love,hate,upsets,plans for the future, and people in their lives are shared from birth and through out their lives. The identity or feeling of losing half of ourselves, when we lose a twin, is most like that of losing a spouse.  No relationship is more involved or longer lasting than that of  a twin relationship when their relationship begins in the womb they share.

What we as parents need to do is to make certain that our sadness does not spread over to our children or lose patience with our children if they are not shedding tears but are acting out. It helps  instead to discuss with them what they are feeling to make them behave the way they are.  Children should not hear everything about the shootings but sadly many will hear it from other sources and we need to be aware of the fact that details often become exaggerated and lead to nightmares in our children. When questioning them we need to be careful not to offer details but instead to find out what they know or are feeling and answer them honestly.

Just as some adults will cry for days while others don’t, the same is true with children. Children,depending on age, do not clearly understand the permanence of death.  They just know that their parent,friend, or sibling is not with them now and do not understand the long-term of death but feel a real unexplained sadness in themselves. Some will need our understanding on their level to cope without us forcing our own coping measures or the lack of the same on them. Grieving needs to be age appropriate just like everything else in life does.

The tragedy effecting our Nation in NewTown,Connecticut can affect our children around the globe and it is especially important that we communicate with our children about their concerns without expressing our own concerns.  It is alright to say Mommy and Daddy are feeling sad because they know that already but they should not be made to feel as a replacement for the children lost, or be compared to them.

We are each uniquely our own person and that applies to grieving as well.  We will not always be on the same page together nor do we have a time clock running.  If we need grief counseling we most definitely need to seek it out before we are left to deal with an unnecessary guilt or a prolonged sense of hopelessness.  It is important that we also rest during this time, when we can.  Grieving is exhausting and requires that we do get sleep.

Good luck and my condolences are with all of you.  I, like the rest of the Nations around the World, are wishing you the strength to recover on your own time and in your own space knowing our prayers and thoughts are with all of you.  May the goodness of the Season offer all of us the hope that we as a Nation will do something about such needless tragedies, in the New Year. God Bless all of us!  (See my previous post,”Guns And Mental Illness”)

Guns And Mental Illness

Too often as a Nation, we over look the risks and dangers of in-action.  We too many times talk about needing to help draw attention to both guns and mental illness but then the reminders of the tragedy passes and the powerful lobbyists again, win.

The facts are: we do nothing about the out of control gun ownership in our Nation because of the lies that lead to fear tactics, told and spread by the National Rifle Associations and many of their colleagues. People who run for office know and understand that the NRA is only second in power to the American Medical Ass. or the A.M.A.  With men like the Koch brothers backing the NRA, Republicans and Conservative Democrats know they will lose their jobs or never get elected if they even whisper, “gun control”, so as a Nation we keep talking about doing something and then we forget about it until the next tragedy.

When those who claim that,”we need to  grieve first,” I am in agreement with you if that is what it will take to give you the strength later to claim your responsibility to protect the children.  I am equally supportive of those of us who express our views now, as it is when we put a time clock on our expression of anguish, that we too often fail to do anything that will be heard by those who are responsible for such a needless tragedy. In America we need to accord the grieving of all people on their own time frame, because as a Nation we all share in the grief.  When we start judging each other in how or when they grieve or express that grief, then we fail to understand our own need to stop the in-action in us.

What always amazes me is the public outrage or disbelief that these tragedies often happen in small or rural communities.  Mental illness and gun ownership is as prevalent in one area of America as the other. If we recognize that abuse happens in one out of every three homes in America regardless of the social economic situation, and a person needs to be mentally unstable on some level or suffering from depression on another, in order to commit murder/suicide, then we can and should accept that our children are not safe anywhere as long as gun enthusiasts rights are protected by the lobbyists who control our Nation and politicians.

Depression that is sometimes brought on by circumstances in our lives, holds no favorites nor does it care what the size of the community is or the type of community we reside in.  The sad thing is that mental illness is easily recognized by those who refuse to spend their lives in denial, and as equally and as readily treatable.  When Politicians, the law or the courts, or insurance companies refuse to help parents by passing laws that aid in the treatment of mental illness and carrying them long-term on insurance policies, then the public will too often suffer the consequences. We as a society should never condemn the parents for the real frustrations and sometimes fear that they are left to deal with in the interim. We instead need to point the finger at those who are more committed to profit over the safety of our children and ourselves.

We know mental illness results as much from genetics as it does from environment and just as compassionate people should not fault people for the unfortunate circumstances of many physical diseases, we should not condemn those who suffer from mental illness.  When we do not demand the coverage of Insurance Companies to cover mental illness, but too many times complain because our premium costs go up instead, then we also play into the neglect of the needs of our own or are responsible for our own in-action. When we refuse to believe that as a Nation we all must protect the needs of our children, then we fail more than just our children but we fail ourselves, as well.

As a Nation we are hearing the underpinnings of the refusal to cover the cost of the health care for our elderly,disabled, and poor even though Nations less advanced than our own cover 100% of the costs of all of its citizens, without stating as fact, that as a Nation they can no longer afford to do so. When we refuse to invest in the needs of our people, we refuse to keep our children safe as well.  In order for our children to be totally safe in America we must demand that the 17 Republican State Legislatures who passed into law the, “Stand Your Ground Laws”,over-ride the law effective, immediately.

We already have a history of knowing when lay people are not effectively trained, do pull a gun on another or fire back, too many times we will fire into a crowd wildly which leads to more death, or we will freeze up and not fire at all. Shooting at a target or a gun club does not offer us the same reality as actually shooting at another human being does. Guns in the hands of those of us who are not trained or of the mindset, only causes more death and destruction, when called on to defend ourselves or others. Even trained policemen are slow to use their guns due to the collateral damage that is often present. Using guns to protect against guns is simply another fallacy offered by The N.R.A. and those who protect the use of guns. The Stand Your Ground Laws,  have already shown that they are just another death, waiting to happen in our children.

We can no longer let the lies that the hunter will lose his guns or it is against the Constitution to interfere with the right to bear arms over ride our own common sense, while we let the power of those who run our Nation through preying on the ignorance of others to continue. It amazes me and should all of us, that the argument that if they don’t have a gun they will use a knife has led people to believe that as many people would die in as rapid succession with a knife as an assault rifle or a hand gun, has appeased the minds of those who pay membership into the NRA or those who are supposed Represent us in government.

The guns that are meant for self-defense or offense serve absolutely no needs and only adds to the destruction of the meat of the game animals and leads to the lost of human life. Military type weapons and ammunition do not belong in a home where our most innocent of people live or visit.  When the investigation is finished in New Town, Connecticut, we will do doubt hear as we always do, the guns that killed came from the home of the mother,  who was killed and who made the same mistake that too many others make and felt that a gun was safe in the home or would protect her.

Statistically, we kill many more people with guns of self-protection than lives we save as a result of owning the same. When 34 people per day or 32,000 people per year, die in America each year as a result of guns, then shouldn’t we start talking honestly about a person’s right to live over the rights of a person to own a gun?  When we compare our death rates with the use of a gun to those of 600 per year to Britain,who have much stricter gun laws, then something is terribly wrong when we don’t have meaningful dialog on the right of Americans to live over the right of a person to use a gun at will.

If we as a Nation place weapons into categories and then ban those categories we do not deny the hunter but instead deny those who would and do kill. If laws are enforced and placed on us to make us responsible for the handling of the weapon used for protection, then the unstable will not be able to own guns. When the Republican Party refused to reinstate the Brady bill in 2004 or the Violence Against Women Bill in 2011, they made it clear that it is not the people they are safe guarding and investing in, but the lobbyists instead.

When the NRA refuses to take action to ban bullets and ammunition when the only purpose they have, is to penetrate the vests of law enforcement, but instead lobbies millions into campaigns to guarantee the use of the same, then we the American public need to have our voices heard. When we demand that the responsible thing is done to keep all of us safe, then we will no longer need to ask “Why?” When irrational acts are done by those through irrational behavior, then we must as a Nation quit denying, “that guns do not kill but people do.” Without guns, irrational people cannot slaughter our young people or those who would protect them, in mass.

When guns are not kept safe in our homes or those who would use a gun to end life, knows where grandpa keeps the key, we must be held responsible for keeping guns and ammunition unprotected in our homes by the understanding that life is more precious than the need for recreational sport, with a fire arm.  Just as we wouldn’t turn rattle snakes loose in our homes or watch our children do drugs, and then deny that they would not kill, we must quit denying that guns do not kill.

There needs to be laws established to protect the gun as well as the people. If laws were made that would ban the use of a recreational gun, to those who it is not registered to and enforced by a stiff penalty of law, perhaps the most recent tragedy, just as in Columbine,would never have happened. If they refuse to pass the laws then we as responsible parents must understand that guns do kill.  Just as we do not offer our prescription drugs to children without penalty of law why would we offer a gun to anyone who it is not registered to use? Recreational guns could just as easily be stored at gun clubs or shooting ranges or stored in gun safes by responsible adults in the home. If we can put on a seat belt then surely we can safeguard the use of a gun.

We, the American People, can no longer let the memories of our children lost ,be in vain.  It does not matter if they died in Milwaukee, NewTown, Aurora, or on the streets of Detroit, Chicago or Philadelphia, their deaths just as their lives did, need to bring forward meaning to all of us. Their short-lived lives must stand for the end to the destruction done in our Nation by guns that only serve the purpose to kill our innocent people. We can no longer deny that the gun in the hands of the unstable kills.

These adults and children’s lives need to stand for the good in all of us that seeks out and demands the end to such tragedy in our Nation.  We cannot forget the trauma also experienced by the survivors in these terribly destructive killings of our loving adults and innocent children. We cannot allow such destructive behavior to continue to make our children to feel that adults do not stand for their need to feel safe. We cannot continue with the mentality that just because some one is a member of our family that their outbursts,with draw from Society, or fantasy of killing is normal.

When we as a Nation put politics, denial of reality, or sacristy of gun use in the hands of the unstable, over the sacristy of life, then we need to ask ourselves,” just how misconstrued is the American love of the gun over the value of life?”  We all need to take responsibility for common sense guiding us over a misconstrued value system.

Sadly the N.R.A. fights against any and all laws to use common sense in the handling of a gun and the storage of the same. Every lawyer knows and understands that any attempt to control the storage or use of a gun will lead to years of litigation by the N.R.A., just as every Conservative Democrats or Republican candidate understands it will lead to lost of their election run if they refuse to support the stand of the N.R.A.

Do not let the media fool you into believing it is as much Democrats as Republicans in Washington as less than 30 Democrats in Washington are Conservative out of  approximately 289 with only 47 Democrats,both liberal and Conservative in the Congress, as verses 196 Conservative Republicans including the Tea Party in the Republican Party married to the NRA.  When photo opts of our Republican leadership are taken in the presence of the NRA leadership representatives, each election year are seen as a proud moment of the Republican Party, then we need to ask, “Would our voices be louder than the lobbyists if we refused to vote for any candidate who protected or promoted the NRA and their colleagues’ memberships?”

Isn’t it going, “to take a village,” just as much as a city of people who are willing to stop the insanity of killings in our Nation and those who believe that we have a moral obligation to protect our children, to join together, to make the changes?  We have more than ample enough evidence to know that the politicians have no plan in doing anything but talking about it, because they are afraid to take a stand against the lobbyists.

Those politicians, who are committed to do otherwise, need our help and commitment to them at the election polls and need to hear our voices just as much as the law makers and politicians need to keep us safe. Do any of us even know who the Federal Judges in our States are, that we keep electing each election? I repeat:”When the voices and the votes of we the American people”, are counted and become more powerful than the lobbyists in Washington and our States, then we will have a Nation that protects its children.

If  we had spoken up as much for the rights of our children to be safe, as others did for the fetus, do any of us doubt that the politicians would act differently in the hours they put in, on the floor of the House or the Senate to protect our children against violence? When it comes to making and establishing gun laws, don’t we believe that if our voices are heard and our votes counted, that the politicians would develop more of a dialog in doing something to keep our children safe?

All the money paid the politicians by the lobbyists and men like Sam Adelson or the Koch Brothers cannot win an election for the politicians who refuse to act in the best interests of the American people if we simply refuse to vote for them or re-elect them.  The real power still lies in the hands of the common sense approach of the people, when we choose to invoke the same at the election polls.

When our voices and actions are as empty as the politicians, then the more powerful the Insurance lobbyists,NRA,and the American Insurance under writers will remain.  It is time that we make the changes in ourselves now, by moving forward instead of shaking our heads and passing the buck. I have enough faith in the power of the people to believe that we can make a difference in the safety of the lives of our children, so no other family has to ever suffer the tragedy taking place in our Nation today.

I am wishing everyone the Blessings of the Holiday Season and compassion for the grieving of those who have lost the most, along with those of us who have lost as a Nation. God Help us all.